To all my readers and followers, please keep in mind that I have now moved over to my new blog, Father Nature's Corner, so Cedar's Mountain is now on a semi-permanent hiatus.

If you're looking for the wit and wisdom that Cedar's Mountain is known for, please click on the link up above or to the right, and I promise you that you won't be disappointed.

Friday, July 30, 2010

And?

This week, I felt pretty much like this very large tower of blown glass (pic taken at the Children's Museum of Indianapolis, 2008. it actually stretches to more floors than what you see). Basically, a disorganized jumble of schtuff sticking out every which way with no apparent rhyme or reason to whatever it was I was doing.

Take for instance, Monday and Wednesday's posts. Normally, I keep my personal opinions about the stuff that you'd read out of my blog. Why? Because even though I often come off witty, lively and just a little bit flaky most of the time, there are times where I really shoot from the lip and use a shotgun-at-close-range approach whenever I get riled. Or have an out of whack blood sugar.

Yes, I said out of whack blood sugar.

People act very strangely when a lifelong medical ailment decides to kick in and say, "Yo! Start acting your age and not your shoe size!" In my case, when mine kicks in (usually when my fasting sugars in the morning start at anything over 200), two things happen: I get the male equivalent of menopause (you have my permission to laugh out loud); and my notoriously short fuse, which 99% of the time I keep well under wraps and well under control, blows.

Badly. Horribly. Terribly.

At home, no problem as the family knows when to leave me alone until I get back to my abnormal lovable self. Work, different story.

However, the good news is that those two posts weren't the end result of a temporarily messed up lifestyle health-wise. Nope. those two posts were the end result of having a plethora of buttons pushed just one too many times in both the Cyber World and the Real World.

It's been a very long time since I got fed up enough with the latest and greatest of stupid that drives this big blue marble of ours, but Monday's & Wednesday's (especially Wednesday) was the end result of getting fed up.

As they say, sometimes when you twist that rubber band one extra time, it snaps and can leave a shiny red welt on a particularly sensitive part of the body.

So.

As all good things must come to an end, whether the ending makes sense or not, the ending of the post is upon us. The beginning started out with so much promise (like this good short story here) but as we got to the end, we wound up like this: It was a dark and stormy night.

Tune in tomorrow and Sunday over at Shooting Suburbia, because what I got coming for ya's on Monday & Wednesday & Friday, you'll need that post to remind you that I really do have a sense of humor.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Hipocrisy Has Its Privileges

Continuing on a rant about all things stupid in this great big country of ours, I decide to once again create a post based on Facebook.

You know, I think Facebook is becoming my new source for stupid.

This one is based on the idiocy that is illegal immigration. My Microsoft dictionary defines "illegal" as: forbidden by law. It also defines "immigration" as: the act of people entering into a new country to settle permanently. And finally, it defines "illegal immigration" as: somebody who has entered the country illegally.

Now, as you know, supporting illegal immigration is all the rage and nowhere is it more visible than on Facebook.

Since I have a major problem identifying supposedly sane people supporting something that is against the law as hypocrites, I came up with a sure fire questionnaire that can determine with with a reasonable degree of accuracy if a particular person is a hypocrite. Question #1 is a gimme, but if you agree with question 2 or question 3, you are a hypocrite. If you agree with question 4, not only are you a hypocrite but you're morally depraved as well.

Question #1: You abhor doing anything that is against the law.

Question #2: You condone illegal immigration.

Question #3: You approve of Mexico chastising Arizona for creating a law aimed at curtailing illegal immigration and of Mexico filing a friend of the court brief against it, in spite of the fact that Mexico does not bend over backwards like we do when it comes to illegal immigration. When Mexico finds an illegal immigrant, the deport them. No ifs, no ands, and no buts. They chuck them on a plane and send them back to where they came from.

Question #4: Because you live or work in a sanctuary city or state and a close family member is killed or seriously injured by illegal immigrant, you are okay with the fact that this person will never see the inside of a jail because it is against the law to arrest an illegal immigrant so all that will happen to them is that they'll be deported, and in a few months, they'll be back in America doing the exact same stuff again.

So, tell me the truth, is my questionnaire an accurate representation of a large slice of stupid that happens to run things in America today, or am I just full of shit?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Won't You Please Paint Me With The Widest Brush You Got?

I like Facebook.

To me, Facebook is what a chat room should be. A place where one can have truly inane conversations about whatever, without worrying about whether or not someone is gonna insult you, harass you or stalk you for what you say.

For those of you who have the pleasure of seeing me on Facebook, you probably know that I go out of my way not to post a lot of stuff about myself, simply because that 1) I don't like bombarding people with mega doses of me, and 2) I much rather bombard people with mega doses of me in the blog world.

So what I do for the most part is spend what little time I'm there, reading what other people say. I enjoy staying up to date with what my friends do in their life, because there's nothing worse than making an inappropriate comment about something a friend is involved with, simply because you weren't paying attention.

Sometimes though, old habits die hard. Like for instance, having a good argument. A good argument is probably the one thing that I truly miss from the chat rooms. I really enjoy one upping someone in a verbal battle, but in Facebook, the arguments have been relatively few, if not totally non-existent.

So more often than not, I'll post a snarky comment on one of the many fan pages I participate in, hoping that someone takes the bait. Sometimes, I'll post a snarky comment on a status update just to see if someone is paying attention.

Last Friday (7/23), someone was paying attention.

Someone posted a link to a story from the Huffington Post about Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin going camping in Alaska. So a few people started leaving a few silly comments, which was fine. Then I left this comment: Since when is the Huffington Post considered "real" news?

Didn't get a bite until the next day (7/23), when someone left this comment to me: Haha G, I do hope you're not busy watching your "news" on FOX. If so, how's that white anger (at the New Black Panther Party, ACORN, Shirley Sherrod, the NAACP, and the racist Obama administration) working out?

Now to be honest with everyone, I really don't mind being insulted. Because of where I've been since 2007, I've long gotten used to being insulted. But I do draw the line when people chose to engage in painting me with the widest brush possible with their insults. So I wound up letting this person have it with both barrels and told him in no uncertain terms on what I thought of him, which in turn brought out someone else to defend his "honor".

Why is it that all those supposedly open minded individuals (on both sides of the aisle, mind you), choose to paint with the widest brush possible when they come across a person who has a differing viewpoint from them?

Prime example is the responding comment I posted from that individual. Personally, I don't like the Huffington Post. I used to like Ariana Huffington about fifteen years ago, but now I don't, which is why I made the snarky comment in the first place.

But saying I suffer from "White Anger" simply because I don't think that the Huffington Post has real news is very wrong. Why is my opinion somehow less valid than yours? Why would you even make a snotty comment belittling my personal beliefs and calling me a racist when you don't even know the first thing about me?

It bothers me that someone would call me "racist", because I consider that to be an personal attack on my character. People who usually do personal attacks don't last very long in my world. I used to put a few of the more intelligent souls in their place by relating the following:

"Let's see, my close friends are people of color. I work in an office building where the majority of my co-workers are non-white and I work in a city where I am very much in the minority. My in laws are Hispanic (Puerto Rican). My nephew is White/Hispanic. My step-nephew is Hispanic/Black. So tell me, am I really a racist?"

I also usually respond much the same way about the issue of gay marriage. My personal viewpoint on gay marriage has been modified over the years (because I am that open minded) to basically having a problem with the word "marriage" being used. But that hasn't stopped me considering the other side of the issue. Problem I'm finding though, is that a lot of people are so passionate about the issue that to them anyone who doesn't support gay marriage is a "homophobe".

I've been called a "homophobe" and much worse, simply because I don't support gay marriage. I also realize that gay marriage is here to stay, whether anyone likes it or not. I'm still the same person, even though I don't support gay marriage.

The point I'm trying to make here is this: just because you don't agree with a person's particular viewpoint, don't try to paint that person with the widest brush possible. Use a little common sense when you choose to disagree with someone. You're an adult and I would think that you have the smarts to figure out when someone is being stupid (aka a racist or a bigot) or when someone is voicing a reasonably intelligent viewpoint.

Because you know, it's very easy to have the tables turned on you, and sometimes, once a particularly personal insult is unleashed, it's very hard to undo the damage.

I've been on the receiving end of a few such insults, and I'm still paying the price some three years later.

So please, do yourself a favor by putting brain in gear before opening mouth, because you'll never know how your intended recipient is gonna respond to whatever potential insult your brain spits out.

Think, before you shoot. Because sometimes, the other person will do the exact same thing in retaliation.

And more.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Flora, Fauna And Aminals (1)

Yes indeedie doodie, it's time for another fun filled installment of Shooting Suburbia featuring your ever popular, ever effervescent host, Bobby Bummer!

Today Bobby Bummer has secretly replaced good intelligent captioning with captioning that goes off on random tangents that have almost nothing to do with the picture in question.

Behold, bemused, be mystified and finally be bored to tears as you view part 1 of Flora, Fauna & Aminals.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hey! College Radio Jock! Your Programming Skills Suck Too!

About a month and half ago, I wrote a post lamenting the current state of commercial radio, all of which was completely justified. Today's post will cover the current state of college radio, which will be a little more personal in nature, simply because it's about the jock themselves who program the shows and not the general manager.

Most of the points I'm about to bring up are geared towards the under thirty crowd, simply because a good chunk of the college jocks on the air today are under thirty and have no qualms in turning off as many listeners as they see fit.

1} I don't care about your political viewpoint. Whether you think that the current President is the greatest thing to happen to America or that GWB is the worst thing to happen since AIDS, that Cheney and Halliburton are crooks, and that 9/11 was an inside job, is irrelevant*. I tune into the station to listen to an eclectic mix of music, not to hear you ramble on about your politics nor listen to the skewered political music that only 1% of your listeners actually care about AND that hasn't been relevant for ten years.

*Actual thoughts spoken during the various radio programs I've listened to.

2} I don't like laziness. I'm sorry that you feel that your social life must take precedence over doing a good programming job for your show, but to take your IPod and plug it in, then announce to the world that you didn't feel like doing your job properly is inexcusable (so is putting your show on tape and broadcasting it that way as well). You volunteered for the gig to begin with, so treat it with the respect that it deserves. Which means showing up a couple of hours early to get half the music ready for your shift. Because of the non-commercial, non-talk format, you'll have plenty of time to get the remainder of your show programmed.

3} Just because you have a fave artist doesn't mean you need to play an hour's worth (or more) of their music. Seriously, the last thing I want to listen to, is an hours worth of music from someone who stopped being relevant by the end of the 60's and stopped putting out good music by the mid-80's. Like Bob Dylan.

If you want to play your fave artist, that's fine. Just limit yourself to twenty minutes top of your beloved.

The only exceptions to this rule should be 1) a birthday tribute (ex. Elvis) or 2) the artist is coming to the area for a show and you want to give everyone a sample (ex. Public Image Limited).

4} Unless your show starts after the FCC mandated hour of 10p, please refrain from playing music loaded with profanity. There is nothing worse than jamming to a song and suddenly having the volume drop or the words becoming garbled. While I don't mind profanity in my music, I really can't afford to be caught listening to it at work.

5} Stop interrupting a song every ten seconds in a vain attempt at stopping home recording. Seriously, if you think that's a good thing, you're sadly mistaken. I can't tell you how many times I was starting to get into a particular type of music that I usually don't listen to, only to suddenly hear your whiny scratchy voice interrupting my listening pleasure.

These are some of my pet peeves (trust me, I have loads more) about college radio. How 'bout you? Want to add any of your own to the mix?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Naturally Toasted Until Fried

Yummy.

Naturally toasted goodness, it just don't get any better than this. I just absolutely love the smell of burnt brain cells in the morning....hmmm.....it does a body good to stagger around like a cartoon character, drooling at the mouth and having the sound of crickets echoing in the hollow confines of what used to contain your brain.

And the eyes...did you know if you combine stifling hot humid weather, lack of sleep due to mounds of personal stress, personal stress, and sheer boredom at work, you get eyes that for the most part refuse to go along with the program and simply stay in a dull languid state of show and tell.

The brain...did you know that brain steaks are the new health food? Yes sirree bob, its the truth. They're real easy to cook. All ya have to do is stand outside in that same hot and humid weather (this recipe only works in the Northeast, so for the rest of the country, my apologies. maybe), stare at the sky for several minutes, and viola', she is done. Just whack your head a couple of times with a crowbar and in no time at all, medium size chunks of brain steaks will come a-poppin' out. Just remember that you can't do this all the time, because eventually most of your motor functions, living functions and just plain functions will cease to be, leaving you to be just a piece of human flesh straight out of 2525.

Getting grossed out yet?

Yes, gag me with a spoon because I am like so totally sure of barfing out because this is just so grody to the max.

And now....drum roll please....I present to you......da da da da da da da da da da da....the body!

Yes, the human body!

Did you know if you combine all of those disgusting characteristics mentioned in the preceding paragraph, you get basically a liquid body that would be perfect for a schlocky B movie gorefest? Didja? Hah? Didja?

Yes indeedie doodie, a beer-battered-meat-tenderized-marinating-in-its-own-unique-special-blend-of-thousands-of-herbs-and-spices-one-of-a-kind-delectable-goody is just waiting for you to serve it up to your family and friends, who of course enjoy the natural foods that you produce from your garden of Eden.

So.

My friends, who are within the sound of my voice, my question to you is this: What kind of greens or potatoes would best compliment the items on today's menu? More importantly though, what kind of wine would go best with these good eats?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Apparently, A 38 Doesn't Fit

A good friend of mine, who is doing me the ginormous favor of giving Line 21 a good first read through, pointed out what could be a major problem with my character.

It seems that the size I gave my main character, a 38C, is a bit too large for what she's wearing cough, cough at the beach. My friend was blunt enough to say that from personal experience this is quite the impossible feat.

So.

This brings up a rather troublesome point, in that in order to make this character less freaky/unrealistic, I would have to tweak about one quarter to one third of the novel.

So.

In order to fix this troublesome point to the best of my ability, I need an answer to a rather personal question. The kind of personal question that if one was to ask face to face, one would get one's face slapped. Or in my case, either my first name or last name uttered with the requiste jaw dropping by the offended party. Then I would get my face slapped. Or my very bald-razor-burned-and severly-nicked head slapped.

However, since this is blog land, I feel confident enough to ask the question without getting my face slapped. More importantly, I feel confident in my readers to give me their honest opinion/answer to my question. I also expect them to have a little fun in the process.

1} What do you say is the best size for a woman to comfortably wear a bikini? Please keep in mind what the current synopsis is, which can be found on the link up above, as you formulate an answer.

Like I said, you can have fun with this question, just don't go hog wild in the process.

And in case you're wondering about my preference, the post title says it all.

Just not realistically.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Newington Center....And Beyond! (5)

And now, the final installment of Newington Center....And Beyond!

Tune in next week when we present for your viewing pleasure, "Flora, Fauna and Aminals"

Saturday, July 17, 2010

An Unfortunate Closing

Two weeks ago, I stopped producing fresh content for Flashing Georgie's Shorts. Last week I officially took FSG into retirement. Today (7/17), I received my weekly status report from Sitemeter for the last week that it was opened.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that the average length of time someone spent visiting my blog shot up to 17 minutes and 36 seconds. I did some research, but was unable to determine where that visitor came from.

I say visitor because the same IP addy stopped by on five occasions, with four of them being consecutive.

Suffice to say, I am somewhat disturbed. No, scratch that. I am royally pissed that someone may have been trying to do something funky with my blog content.

So.

Until further notice, Flashing Georgie's Shorts is now closed for public consumption. I do apologize for the inconvenience that this will cause everyone, but I really need to give some thought on whether or not I should make FSG a semi-private blog. That is, just for the readers of Cedar Mountain and no one else.

Update: Upon further review (namely thinking about this for several hours) and after reading everyone's thoughtful comments about this, I have decided to give myself the old British Navy punishment of 40 lashes to the back for writing such a infantile post. I've also decided to reopen FSG. I won't nuke this post, because I need something to remind me that I can be me my own worse enemy.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Joys and Headaches of State Employment

This was one of my first posts about working in state government, and even better, remains the only post about work that ended on a happy note. Did a slight tweaking to add a photo link.


I've been told on numerous occasions, by pompous peons who don't have a clue and spout off nonsensical garbage in my local chat forums, and by blowhards who work in the private sector at twice my hourly rate, who I meet in the various businesses I frequent, what it is exactly I do for a living.

To whit, the typical state worker is someone who:

1) Is lazy
2) Reads the newspaper all day
3) Who ignores the phone, thus ignoring the general public
4) Who plays computer games or surfs the 'net
5) Who drinks coffee
6) Who props his/her feet up and takes frequent naps
7) And who is overpaid for the work he/she does

This is what I get online, of which I (and a couple others, who have intimate knowledge thereof) spend a good deal of time trying to correct these idiots who post variations of this garbage.

Oh yeah, I also get variations of "how many DOT workers does it take to fix a pothole in the road." as well.

Puhlease! Spare me your misguided, ill-informed opinion of me and my job. And spare me the sob story on how "my tax dollars pay for your salary". MY OWN TAX DOLLARS PAY MY SALARY! SO GET YOUR SORRY AZZ OFF MY BACK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the same token, I do find joy and happiness while working for the state. For all the moaning and groaning that I personally do about my job and the office politics, I really do like my job. I love doing payroll, and all of things that go into creating a paycheck for someone. I do like fixing problems and I love doing research to fix potential problems.

I actually enjoy being the go-to guy when things need to get done, done right, done efficiently or simply lend a few brain cells to help solve the problem. I have earned the respect of my peers and of the people I do payroll for on a daily basis.

As for the joy at work, that sometimes happens on a weekly basis, whenever a parent happens to bring their child/grandchild to work for a visit. Considering where I work, and who I do payroll for, it is an absolute joy to meet a child, no matter what the age, that isn't associated with crappier side of my work environment.

If one examines my cubicle, it is an absolute joy for a child to look it. Many a time has a toddler stopped by my cube to check out the contents of it, and to a lesser degree, check out me. If you've seen the picture of me, then you know how I can look to a small child. Thus, whenever a child comes around, I always get down to their eye level and I always remove my glasses as well. As for the contents of my cube, I have enough stuffed animals in it to choke a horse. There have been on a few occasions where the child did not want to give up the stuffed toy that they had temporarily gotten from me.

That my friends, is the true joy at work. No matter how frazzled or how aggravated I'm getting at the moment, whenever I see or hear a small child, it reminds me how the simplest things in life, can often give you the most joy.

Originally posted June 27, 2008

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

10 Sure Signs You Have Testosterone Problems

Okay, so I'm bending my previous statement about taking a vaca from originality. I had to radically tweak the formatting so as to make it easier to read. To completely understand the joke, please scroll down to Monday's post.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have the attitude problem. Everyone else can deal with it.

You wouldn't be caught dead eating a cheese omelet, but you're adding beer to your corn flakes.

You don't use a dryer.

Your jeans shrank because you laid them too close to the BBQ.

Your wife is agreeing with everything you say. She must have smashed the car or something.

Screw the cell phone. You just pass those twits by and throw your empties at them.

Batting practice? Forget that, let's play William Tell.

Outer Space? So what, that's something new? You experience that every time you're forced to visit your in-laws.

You can't believe that they don't make a burger larger than a triple decker at Wendy's, so you buy a double for merging purposes.

You drive everyone else crazy because after all, the world does indeed revolve around you.

Ibuprofen? Shoot, you're only half-way through medicating your headache and the thirty pack is all gone.

Originally posted on May 27, 2008

Monday, July 12, 2010

10 Sure Signs You Got Estrogen Problems

Since the family is going away to New Jersey to attend daughter's dance competition, I thought it would be good idea to mentally join them by taking a vaca from originality this week. Please enjoy the first of three blasts from the distant past. And yes, I'll still be here to ruin your week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I've stated previously, I have a very wicked sense of humor. Sometimes dry, sometimes acerbic, but always on the money. My sense of humor has on occasion, hit the upper atmosphere, simply by making a connection with someone. This particular post is a case in point. The person who originally created this part, was for about six months last year (2007), a very good and very close friend of mine. We later had such a violent falling out, that nine months later, the effects are still being felt around my local CyberWorld. I will give credit where credit is due, however, and simply say that this person, who I'll call for the time being, "Kentucky", is the one who help me create this lasting piece of humor.

  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-".
  6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
  7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
  8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
  9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Originally posted on May 27, 2008

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Newington...And Beyond (4)

For your visual enjoyment, the next installment of Newington...And Beyond!

For your intellectual enjoyment, ye olden joke from the first year of Cedar's Mountain.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Routineous Interruptus

Amazing isn't it? How lost one can get if a major interruption screws up a morning/afternoon/evening routine.

Case in point.

About a month ago (6/8), I was sitting at my computer, eating my breakfast and doing my normal blog maintenance and blog reading, when in the middle of responding to a comment left by a reader, the power went out in the house.

I thought to myself, 'Okay, I'll just finish writing my comment as soon as I find a wireless signal.'

Notice that right off the bat that I'm already lost.

It took about a minute or two for this particular thought to sink in: There was no power in the house, therefore household computer was down, therefore no wireless signal.

So.

I closed out what was on my screen, and sat there in a room illuminated only by the glowing screen, trying to figure out what to do next. At first, I thought I would play a couple of computer games to while away the remaining half hour or so.

That quickly fell by the wayside when I decided that I should save the battery on my computer for as long as possible. So I exited the game and exited the computer, and for the next thirty seconds, sat alone in a dark basement with only my thoughts to keep me company.

That also quickly fell by the wayside, as while I don't mind being alone with my thoughts, it's not part of my morning routine to be alone with my thoughts.

So.

I grabbed my writing tray and pen and paper (what, you don't have your personal work area memorized?) and made my way upstairs. Once upstairs, I decided to try to go outside and write. And being New England, our late spring weather had been goofy as of late, so when I went outside, I froze my butt off, because temps where in the mid-50's (early June peoples).

So.

What to write about became a moot point. Since my morning routine was interrupted, I decided to start writing about "routineous interruptus". I wrote up to the second stand alone 'so' sitting on that rocking bench freezing my butt off, while the rest of it was composed a couple of days later elsewhere.

The rest of my interruptous consisted of showering in almost total darkness and getting dressed in natural sunlight.

As it turned out, the rest of my day went as per normal and I found out later that power was restored by 10a.

So.

My question to you is this: Ever suffer from "routinous interruptous" and how badly were you thrown off (if at all) in the process?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

It Ain't Easy....

....when you decide to call it a day.

And no, I'm not talking about Cedar's Mountain or Shooting Suburbia.

I'm talking about Flashing Georgie's Shorts.

For a continued explanation, please click on the above link and visit FSG one last time. I promise that you won't be disappointed.

I want to sincerely thank all of you for sharing your comments, you views and your writing tips for the 15 1/2 month existence that was FSG.

Monday, July 5, 2010

All In The Groove

I started writing again. I know, it sounds weird, but ever since I finished my latest project, I've been unable to come up with any kind of a story idea.

Until....

While I was posting my two incomplete novellas a couple of months ago, one story in particular, Caged caught my eye again. The more I read, the more I liked, until finally it became the necessary mini-obsession that is step one in my writing process. Step two is sitting down in front of my computer and pecking away (with typos of course).

So.

Right off the bat, I incorporated quite a few elements not only from that one story but from a couple of others as well. Even though I changed the main character's first name from Valerie (bad juju with that name) to Melanie, I kept the overall characteristics and personality flaws from those original stories (acid scars on the face, chewed up chest, reduced breast size, monster chip on shoulders, crystal meth habit, and violent temper), as well as using the original setting of the entire second novella (hive/pod) as a background dump for this story.

I also kept the human food source (Jerry) and the former mentor (Bertha, now Fryja) the same, and introduced Cerberus, guard dog for Hell. Also brought The Platinum Queen and her Entourage back into the mix as well.

Jon, who was Melanie's husband, is something of an anomaly, in that he straddles both worlds. Completely human (as opposed to Melanie), he's managed over the course of his marriage and with help from Melanie, to incorporate a tiny bit of her world into his. Two of things that I decided to grace him with, is the ability to be telepathic and the ability to be like an energy drink for Melanie. In other words, being a food source when she needs a pick-me-up.

I gave him a weird job, but I haven't decided what that is yet. From how I described his old-fashioned wardrobe (bowler, vest, shirt, pants, and shoes all black; bow tie blood red) and the fact that he's a public face for a corporation called Dandelion Inc., I'm leaning towards him working in some particular facet of death.

As for Melanie, she is a bit more complex. I haven't identified her with any kind of non human species, save for calling her a "hybrid". However, I am dropping a few hints in the story on what she might be. Like for instance, her job: I have her working for a debt collection agency. She does have a taste for blood, she does possess supernatural powers (tired phrase I know), and she does have fangs. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine as to what she may be.

The one conscious decision I did make with this story, was to amp up the level of violence. Because I'm going through a little personal stress, this became the perfect vehicle story to unleash that stress and anger on. The violence isn't extreme, but it leans more to the gory aspect than the physical aspect, although that will probably change as it progresses. Also, since the original story does make a vague allusion to Hell, I chose to make that allusion more solid, simply by using characters that are more firmly associated with Hell.

This my friends, is the latest story to ooze from my pen. Also, this is the first story that I'm predominately writing by hand and then transcribing using my Dragon software, which has been giving birth to dust bunnies for the past few months. Still got this major hurdle in using it to exclusively write with, because for me, I turn into a human Popsicle the second I try to do original writing with it. So this is probably the only way I'm gonna be able to incorporate that software with my writing.

"Writing is an art form" is an archaic and seldom used phrase.

Now, "writing is a form of sticking bamboo shoots under your fingernails", is a phrase that I would be proud to be associated with.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Newington Center....And Beyond! (3)

Once again Cedar's Mountain is proud to present to you, the sub-30 word post and the latest offering of Shooting Suburbia, "Newington Center....And Beyond!"


Oh, and a very Happy 4th of July to all my readers from the Good 'ol U.S. of A.! To my readers from elsewhere, hope you're having a fantastic Sunday with your family and friends.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Spider Goulash? Joy!

I thought I would do a random tangent today, partially because I haven't done one in a very long time (about a year I think), and partially because I couldn't come up with anything solid I could write a full length post about*.

*I weenied out. The post that was supposed to be here originally was what Monday's post was all about. However, I chose to take the advice of one of my cherished blog readers, Joanne, by putting it on the back burner for a while. I haven't nuked it, just stuck a new future date on it.

Besides, you know you secretly like it when I string random nouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, bad punctuation, bad grammar, badly applied words and a overall general lack of cohesiveness and stick-to-your-ribs goodness to create something that really hurts the eyes.

Like encountering a happy peppy person on a bright sunshiny day the minute you wake up from an all night party of binge drinking, it will be just that bad.

1} Title disconnect. The title disconnect is still as bad as ever, as the title up above can attest to. I strung two of my favorite pop culture phrases together and I leave it up to you good people to figure out where I pulled it from.

2} Blog. In the past month or so, I've picked up five new followers (top row started from the left), each of which have a fascinating blog that is worth checking out. A couple of them I found to be so fascinating that I added them to my blog roll. In all honesty though, I have no idea as to why my blog got picked, except maybe that those people are simply looking to expand their network, which is a cool thing. The more the merrier, eh?

3} Facebook. As some of you are aware, I am on Facebook. While Facebook is a decent social network, the lack of security features makes it wickedly vulnerable to hack attacks, phish attacks and virus attacks. Every once in a while, I'll get a few warnings that people have posted saying basically don't accept X, Y or Z as a friend because this person is looking to steal personal info or infect your computer.

If you're like me, you don't go friending every single John, Ashley or Madison that happens to make a friend request of you. Just because someone who you don't know makes a friend request doesn't mean you should blindly accept it. If you blindly accept, then you deserve to have your computer taken away to be cleansed and disinfected. Oh, and you deserve to have your head stuck into a toilet for being such a Homer. Unflushed.

Boggles my mind that some people who probably are super careful with their personal info in the real world, act like a little toddler who got a shiny new present on Christmas day on Facebook.

Pfft~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

4} Blogs (again). This time we're covering the writing aspect. The writing as of late has been stuck in the Mojave as no amount of pushing, pulling, cajoling, swearing or the threat of mental violence has been able to get it out of the Mojave and into the Andes Mountains (look, it's my post, so I don't have to be geographically smarter than a fifth grader, just a second grader).

However, the mechanic has come up with a baked-at-450-degrees-for-45-minutes-until-crispy-idea on how to get the muse unstuck from the Mojave. Stay tuned for further details as we create them.

5} Facebook (again). No rant this time, just want to show you how brain rot can make you one, post dopey things and two, post witty things with no thought of the consequences.

Posting a dopey status update: From Monday 6/28, "STI-CKY! And I don't mean in a-blowin'-your-load-after-frenetically-pounding-your-partner kind of way... "

Got no response from anyone on that

Posting a witty comment: Also from Monday 6/28, "When I get e-mails like that, due to my normal analytically toxic attitude when it come to dealing with stupid in all of its hideous forms, I usually pass it off to my supervisor...that way, she can mouth off without getting into trouble.."

Someone liked that

We have now come to the beginning portion of the ending, so in the words of that great African explorer, Captain Spaulding:

"I come to say that I must be going."

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All the content that you see here, except for the posting of links that refer to other off-blog stories, is (c) 2008-13 by G.B. Miller. Nothing in whole or in part may be used without the express written permission of myself. If you wish to use any part of what you see here, please contact me at georgebjr2006@gmail.com