Okay, so I'm bending my previous statement about taking a vaca from originality. I had to radically tweak the formatting so as to make it easier to read. To completely understand the joke, please scroll down to Monday's post.
You have the attitude problem. Everyone else can deal with it.
You wouldn't be caught dead eating a cheese omelet, but you're adding beer to your corn flakes.
You don't use a dryer.
Your jeans shrank because you laid them too close to the BBQ.
Your wife is agreeing with everything you say. She must have smashed the car or something.
Screw the cell phone. You just pass those twits by and throw your empties at them.
Batting practice? Forget that, let's play William Tell.
Outer Space? So what, that's something new? You experience that every time you're forced to visit your in-laws.
You can't believe that they don't make a burger larger than a triple decker at Wendy's, so you buy a double for merging purposes.
You drive everyone else crazy because after all, the world does indeed revolve around you.
Ibuprofen? Shoot, you're only half-way through medicating your headache and the thirty pack is all gone.
Originally posted on May 27, 2008