Sunday, November 23, 2008

Chat Rooms Are Chock Full Of Natural Warmth And Goodness


If you think that chat rooms are populated with people who are nothing but friendly, respectful of other people's viewpoints, actively pursue the Boy Scout mantra and love their fellow man, then you've been living a sheltered life where your computer skills are negligent, you still do dial up for the 'net AND you have everything routed through your phone line.

It's a cutthroat world, populated by wannabes, keyboard commandos, trolls and the like. These people, who in real life are probably the nicest people in the world and wouldn't dream of dragging your name through the mud in the real world, would do so in a New York minute in cyber space.

Chat rooms are da bomb. Where else can you find people to share your interests, debate various topics with gusto,meet new people and make lasting friendships.

Right. No doubt that you can meet new people. But do you really want to talk to people who may oppose your viewpoint? Of course you don't. You want to talk to people who think just like you do. Anybody else simply don't have their head screwed on tight.

You can go exploring the different forums and get exposure to different cultures. You can respectfully disagree with someone and still maintain good terms with them.

No, you don't respectfully disagree with everyone. You tell them why they're wrong and bludgeon them with half truths, insults and blatant lying, in order to prove what you just said is right.

You can practice your writing skills and sharpen your debating skills until they sparkle. You can gain the trust and admiration of your fellow posters.

Really? How much practice do you need to say 'STFU' to someone? Debating skills? Forget you. Remember, loudness is better. Squash them like a cockroach.

You can gain knowledge from your fellow posters, perhaps they can give you pointers on how to accomplish a particular feature in the chat rooms.

Yeah, I can give you pointers all right. Like how to swear without using swear words. Like, "Yo mammy is a female dog!", "Your pops is pimping out your momma for food." and "You're a piece of excrement!"

You can play games with your fellow posters.

Like, "If you were on a deserted island, and you can have only one person to make your fantasies come true, who would it be?"

Hey! You can't say that!

Listen, take your pollyanna attitude and stick with the sun don't shine.

Excuse me?

Come here (grabs the other person and yanks him closer).


(the person gets stuffed into an old trunk, which is thrown into garbage truck)

Now, as I was saying.....


Smoke eventually clears and nothing but a smoldering six foot crater is left behind.

The Writer: The point is that chat rooms can be whatever you choose to make it to be. Chat rooms can open up a whole new world for you and help expand your horizons, or they can be the worst thing you ever experienced in your life.

(brushes off a few bits of bone and flesh)

Chat rooms: they're not just for wannabe social outcasts anymore.

Disclaimer (of sorts): The story you've just read is mostly true, no names were used to implicate anyone whatsoever.


  1. Someone in a chat room once told me quite unprompted that this chat room didn't want my kind in kind? Apparently I failed to correctly greet him, as he was lord of the chat room...seriously, he had deigned himself the lord of chat room 9...

    Like, get outside and play you eedjit!

  2. Wow.

    That is taking the chat room thing way too seriously.

    Sad part is, I used to be like that when I first came to them.

    But look at me now. I used the chat rooms to launch off my blog career.

  3. I used to chat... rid of that.

    When I did, I felt like I got out of a cesspool.

  4. It can be like a cesspool, yes. I will concede that point.

    But, without it, I don't think I would be where I am today.

    Sort of a catch-22.

  5. My wife and I actually met through a chat room. I found them to be much like you say. I enjoyed them for a time and then got bored with them. I haven't been to one in ages.

  6. Cut-throatedly hilarious.

    I've never been in a chat room and this probably solidifies that I never will be.

    Thanks Georgie B! This was funny.

  7. Charles: I've met quite a few good people in the chat rooms. Even visited one in August while on vacation.

    But yeah, they can be mind numbinly juvenile at times. What can I say, I did my grunt work training on them and still do so to this day.

    Jannie: Cut-throatedly? Is that even a word? Good description though.

    Scary part is that there are people who just like I described in this post.

    Trust me, I can't make this stuff up. 21 months (and still counting) and I come across stuff that still amazes me.


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G. B. Miller

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