Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Three Years....And For What?

About a week ago or so, my three year anniversary in the chat rooms came and went with as little fanfare as possible. In the years gone by, I would be happy as a pig in mud to celebrate my stick-to-it-ness to something I truly enjoyed.

But now, in 2010, it's more like yah. Why the attitude change? Well, for one thing, as much as it pains me to admit it, the past solid year of stalking and harassing has wore me down to the point that I decided to move my base of operations to a better cyber triangle: blogs, e-mails & Facebook.

And why not? Most of my long term friendships from the chat rooms have moved over to Facebook and some of those I have addys to, so I talk to them via the e-mail as well. And while I was starting to make the transition to blogging back in '08, I accelerated the process in '09, so by the beginning of '10, I was ready to make the disconnect from the chat rooms.

I originally thought it would be difficult to do, as I did make a whole boatload of friends while participating in the chat rooms. But overall, I just got tired of dealing with the stalking and harassing, so if certain people want to see this as capitulation, then fine. Either way, I'm doing things on my terms, and in the end, that's all that really matters.

I need to deal with normal adults, and blogs, e-mails and my version of Facebook does it for me. Dealing with people who find of perverse joy out of stalking and harassing others is not my idea of dealing with adults. That's just dealing with toddlers.

I've basically found decent replacements for all the chat threads I used to participate on:

1} Social threads? Blogging and Facebook.
2} Catching up with friends? Facebook, e-mails and blogging.
3} Writing and writing tips? Blogs and Facebook.
4} Topical? Blogs.

So as I see it, the triangle of blogs, e-mails and Facebook has replaced the hypocritical chat rooms. Unlike the chat rooms, where the owners claim to have a Terms of Service, but really selectively enforce it, you can control your blog, your Facebook and your e-mail from undesirables.

With your blog, you can make it open and available, open but with an adult rating (like FSG) that you must accept before you can proceed, open by invitation only, you can make your blog unavailable to the search engines, or a combination of all those things. Same goes with Facebook. You can make your page as open as all get out, with having the search engines find you. Or you can make it private so that no search engine can find you, either internally or externally. Same goes for e-mail. You can make it as private or as open as you so choose.

At one point, yes chat rooms were great for meeting people, debating and honing my writing skills. Now it's simply a severe waste of time and a great inducer of stress.

To put it more bluntly, if chat rooms floats your boat, they won't be really floating mine anytime in the near future.


  1. I never really got into the chat rooms. Doesn't sound like I'm missing much!

  2. I've never entered a chat room and if I was thinking about it, then this post stopped me cold.

  3. Interesting post, G. I never did chat rooms and although they sound interesting that stalking stuff is just depressing. I'll stick to my blogging. I have two Facebook accounts, one for family and local friends and then one for my art buddies. That really works for me.
    And, of course, like you said, email always works. Life is too short to deal with infantile behavior. :)Bea

  4. I never got into chat rooms. If staying away from them will ease your mind, then by all means, say goodbye to them. I'm sure you won't miss much.

  5. They've never floated my boat, haven't been in them in years. People seem to really such there in higher numbers than on blogs, for some reason. And I got sick of being solicited for sex by people I had never met!

  6. General comment: To give you a basic idea on how really pervasive all of this crap has become, I moderate comments as a direct result of someone stalking me to my blogs back in 2008 and leaving me filthy infantile rants.

    Mama Z: In this day and age, you're not missing much. About the only "chat room" I might hit, and key word is might, is the MSNBC boards. I tried it a couple of years ago, and believe it or not, it was too tame for me. Go figure.

    David: Yeah, I think this post would do it for most people. I think I could write an entire novel based on my experiences in this particular chat room.

    The first year and a half was enjoyable, but it became practically nightmarish by the end of '08/beginning of '09.

    Bea: In all honesty, I was starting to become severely stressed out by the time the new year rolled around.

    Like I said, I would rather deal with the adults in the blog world and Facebook, than deal with the toddlers in the chat rooms.

    S.R.: It's funny, but I'm not really missing much of anything by not being there. Everybody who I'm friends with have basically migrated to Facebook.

    R.K.: You be amazed at what kind of shit I used to put up with there. Someday I'll tell you about it, and when I do, it will either straighten out your curly hair, or curl up your straight hair.

    Jane: It has been one of the better decisions I've made in quite sometime. Initially it was a good decision back in 2007 to start doing it, but now, three years later, it's a good decision to quit.

  7. they are also less aggressive and have less tendency to degenerate into name calling and "flame wars'.

    However, I disagree with one part of your comment...you do not have a true triangle, it is more the Isoceles variety...still a triangle, just cooler

  8. Darth: Well, your comment is basically spot on. I've been to one or two blogs (political of course) that have degenerated into name calling, but for the most part, it is basically what you say.

    I've been in numerous flame wars, and the one that made me leave has been going on for about 14 months.

    Isoceles is good. A square is good as well, especially since I'm one of rare breeds left that can actually pound out a good letter to keep in touch with people as well.

  9. I think chat rooms would get on my nerves. I don't twitter either. Too much small talk. I tend to like blogs that put out thoughtful or entertaining material.

  10. Kelly: I'm not sure even how Twitter really exists. It's like two different animals. The version for the US seems like it's filled with vapid inane ramblings of people too full of themselves, while the overseas version is more potent and worthwhile, especially in some of the oppressed countries of the world.

  11. I'm a dinosaur. Haven't done chat since college circa '91! Did IM for a few years when my daughter went to college to stay in touch.
    Still don't facebook or twitter- don't wanna give out my real ID due to earlier idiots chasing me around-
    N the prob is, they can ruin yor life- there's only so much you can ignore!

    Your BP will thank you for discarding the stress!

    I certainly spend too much free time on this machine as it is!

  12. So very, very true.....I actually did use my real name when I first started but soon discareded when I was on the verge of getting banned, so I decided to start a new one.

    However, what most of the idiot have been using, is stuff that I've either posted here on the blog, or already in the chat rooms years ago, or in the e-mails that I sent to a former friend.


Go on, give me your best shot. I can take it. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have created this wonderful little blog that you decided to grace with your presence today.

About that comment moderation thingy: While yes, it does say up above I can take it, I only use it to prevent the occasional miscreant from leaving thoughtless and/or clueless comments.

So remember, all of your comments are greatly appreciated and all answers will be given that personal touch that you come to expect and enjoy.

G. B. Miller

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