Instead, I leave you with this nugget from 2000.
In an attempt to help women better understand the men that they are with:
1} I'm going fishing
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
2} It's a guy thing
Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
3} Can I help with dinner?
Translated: Why isn't it already on the table?
4} Uh-huh, sure honey or alternately yes dear
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditional response.
5} It would take too long to explain
Translated: I have no idea how it works.
6} I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind
Translated: I was wondering if that red head over there is wearing a bra.
7} Take a break honey, you're working too hard
Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
8} That's interesting dear
Translated: Are you still talking?
9} You know how bad my memory is
Translated: I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
10} I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses
Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
11} Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal
Translated: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
12} Hey, I got my reasons for what I'm doing
Translated: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.