To all my readers and followers, please keep in mind that I have now moved over to my new blog, Father Nature's Corner, so Cedar's Mountain is now on a semi-permanent hiatus.

If you're looking for the wit and wisdom that Cedar's Mountain is known for, please click on the link up above or to the right, and I promise you that you won't be disappointed.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

How Not To Promo A Book

Yes, it's a known fact that whenever we come out with a new product, we must promote. This has been hammered, nailed, inserted, squeegeed, drilled, gouged and just plain shoved in our ears like a parasitic cockroach an endless amount of times.

We are told that we need to talk about it, set up a multi-pronged platform (Twitter, Facebook, blog), set up multiple blog tours, book signings, book trailers, you name it, we've been told to do it.

But has anyone really told us how not to promo an item?

Think about it for a minute

No one has ever told us, or me for that matter, not only how not to promo a new book, but how to make sure it dies a quick death. I mean, what good is learning how to do something positive if you don't know how to avoid the negative?

Because I learned some of the don'ts the hard way, I feel it's my sworn duty to clue everyone in so that they don't make the same mistakes that I've made (and will continue to make if I don't practice due diligence).

1} Don't talk about your book.

This one is actually a no-brainer. If you have a normal job and write in a relatively safe genre (i.e. YA, Romance, Western), chances are that you can talk about your upcoming book without fear of retribution, and generate buzz/potential sales.

But if you don't have a normal job, then it makes it extremely hard to promo your book. What do I mean by normal? To me, normal is where your employee is not connected with a government agency, or in the private sector where hyper-sensitivity to political correctness/diversity is first-and-foremost.

As most of you know, I do not have a normal job. I work for a state agency that practices a hypersensitivity that is rarely seen outside the public sector, which of course makes it virtually impossible to generate any kind of buzz about a book. Especially this one:


2} Don't talk about yourself.

This goes hand in hand with point #1. If you can find ways to talk about and/or market yourself at work or in the real world, such as using business cards


to let people know, that's fantastic. But if you're the kind of person who finds it hard to toot your own horn, or even strike up a casual conversation with a total stranger, then no buzz for you. Ever.

3} Don't set up any kind of media platform and/or make your current platform restrictive.

I've been blogging for about 4 1/2 years and only recently have I been trying to change the focus of my blog. Part of the reason has to do with the fact that I've got a book coming out (see first pic) and the other part has to do with dwindling readership. So I'm straddling a fine line in trying to attract new readers w/o alienating my current ones.

I'm also doing my second stint on Facebook. Whereas during my first go-around, I made it almost impossible to find me and friend me, the second time has been a lot better.

I basically reactivated my Facebook account at the suggestion of my publisher, who happens to be heavy into social media. I tweaked my privacy settings, made it easier to follow me by adding a subscriber link, and basically offered myself to the masses. So far its been working, but it's still an uphill battle.

I will not do Twitter, 'cause to be brutally honest, I still value my job and broadcasting 16+ years of work knowledge would make me gainfully unemployed.

4} Don't do anything extra for your book.

This also goes hand-in-hand with point #1. When I'd decided to self-pub my chapbook, I tried for use the photo service that ASI offered up for their "authors". Problem was, I wasn't allowed to use the photo I had selected 'cause it wasn't part of the account they had. So after having no luck in accessing the account they did have (the consultant I had wasn't too smart), I had my cover created sans image.



Not very enticing is it?

I've been toying with the idea of fixing the cover and putting a good image on it, but that requires money that I don't have at the moment.

However, I have learned my lesson and have applied that learning to my upcoming novel. Not only did I have an eye poppin' cover made (once again, see pic), but I had a cool book trailer made as well.


So my friends, if you can avoid doing these don'ts for marketing your book and yourself, then you got a good change of become a semi-successful writer. Not like me (at the moment), but like dozens of other writers that make up my Facebook circle. Feel free to check out my profile to see who they is and quite possible you can pick up a slew of tips like I've done.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Courage Of Your Convictions

Over at Shooting Suburbia I have part 3 of "Autumn Near Cedar Mountain 2012".

Over here, we have this:


I work near four courthouses and one hospital, and I've seen more than my fair share of demonstrations and protests. I've seen bot the incredibly self-centered (1199 SEIU/Healthcare Union closing down the main drag in front of the capitol for a pointless protest march over stall contract talks at a group home), the incredibly clueless (Westboro Baptist Church) and the incredibly genuine.

Whereas I don't have a single ounce of respect for the first two examples mentioned, I do have a lot of respect for the last one mentioned.

To me, I can truly appreciate the fact of not only when someone has a principle of belief that they're passionate about, but that someone is willing to do whatever it takes (legally) to showcase that principle/belief, no matter what the consequences may bring.

For example, we have an intersection about a 1/2 mile from my office building that I consider to be the modern version of Five Points. In other words, there are roughly five street that empty into this seriously screwed up intersection, and ungodly traffic jams are often the norm.

Anyways, the design of this intersection not only has created a few narrow traffic islands, but it has one very large triangle that is somewhat right of center in the street.

On a given day, no matter what the weather may be, there is a core group of individuals who protest Roe v. Wade. Unlike some of the more militant Right-To-Life protesters that the media seems to focus on, these individuals carry out their protests without rancor and without interfering with anyone's day-to-day activities.

Now, while my views on may be slightly different from theirs, and I do respect the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion on a given issue and everyone is entitled NOT TO BE BULLIED FOR VOICING THEIR OWN OPINION, I can appreciate that this small group of people have the courage of their conviction to do what they believe is right, consequences be damned.

They showcase their respective viewpoint without an in-your-face attitude behind it, and quite frankly, it's very refreshing to see a peaceful yet thought provoking protest. Why? Because more often than not, a civil discourse on a hot button topic can only create a better understanding and a deeper appreciation for an opposing viewpoint.

And, I think, that's all you can really ask for in the long run: The ability to get your opinion/viewpoint across without denigrating the opposition.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Way Too Much Clutter

It's funny how certain behaviors that we will absolutely not accept in the real world, we'll more than accept when we're living in the cyber world. I know I put up with a few things in the cyber world that I normally wouldn't put up with in the real world, simply because it's a necessary evil. Like applying for jobs online.

However, there is one thing that I will not tolerate in the cyber world, simply because I will not tolerate it in my personal world. And that, my erstwhile friends, is clutter.

I repeat: Clutter.

In my opinion, clutter is the cleanest yet most offensive seven letter word that someone can throw at me. Even though I may joke about the organized chaos that is my world, I don't like clutter.

Especially on the internet.

I have several websites and blogs that I love to visit on a daily/weekly basis, but each time I visit, they take forever and a day to load. Why? Too much clutter.

If you go to a popular news site, say Fox News or NBC for example, you have so many ad plug-ins, Facebook plug-ins, Twitter plug-ins, and just plain old plug-ins on the site that more often than not, my computer will freeze from several to thirty seconds. And more often than not, I usually have to take drastic measures to fix it. Which in this case is bringing the Windows Task Manager into play.

I started using my Task Manager about 1 1/2 years ago, when Norton 360 was making my computer crash more times than SuperDave Osbourne. Even when I was able to temporarily fix the problem by adding 2 Gigs of memory, I never really stopped using it. It really does come in handy when I'm dealing with a website that has so much external crap to it that my CPU usage maxs out at 100% and memory suckage is at 75% (or more).

Because it's becoming increasingly aggravating to deal with this kind of stuff on a daily basis, some of my favorite websites are only visited by me once or twice a week. Which if you think about it, is kind of bad. As a business, not only do you want to attract customers/readers, but you want them to retain them as well.

A non-user friendly website that's chock full of garbage will drive away even the most determined user of your product.

Some of the websites that you might want to thing twice about using are:

The Hartford Courant (local paper)
NBC
Fox News
ESPN
Yahoo

If you notice, I haven't mentioned any blogs. Unlike certain commercial entities who don't do a good job with their digital medium because their forte is not digital, most bloggers are savvy enough to understand and realize that if their page takes too long to load, people aren't going to come around.

I'll finish up this post by asking the incredibly obvious question of everyone: "Do you have any fave websites that drive you batty because they have way too much clutter attached to them?"

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Vanished From The Megahertz (1)

I am by no means a fan of the classic rock radio format. To me, listening to music that was starting to fade away when I was in high school ('79-'83) on any kind of regular basis is nauseating. While the hits that those particular bands die a thousand paper cuts on commercial radio, I actually don't mind listening to those bands entire body of work. Problem is, the only way to do that is to either dig out your old vinyl/c.d. reissues or listen to college radio.

Having said that, there are bands from that classic rock era, that for whatever reason have been regulated to the junk heap by the technocrats that run commercial radio, which I actually miss listening to.

The other day, I was listening to one of the man adult rock radio stations that pepper the country while driving to work one morning, and one of the two overly played Foreigner songs, "Jukebox Hero", came on the radio.

While the cheese grater vocals of Mick Jones was making my skin crawl (not sure who is worse, Mick Jones or Dave Mustaine), my brain started thinking about all of those so called "classic rock" bands that aren't being played on commercial radio stations.

What follows is by no means a comprehensive list, because even though it would be incredibly fun to do, I don't have that kind of time to kill. So, without further ado, here are the first half of my short list of bands who have disappeared from the airways.

Bad Co.

This band fits perfectly the definition of classic rock: radio hit, late 70's to just within the 80's presence. I always enjoyed listening to Bad Co., and my first Bad Co. album was High Rollers, which featured the song "Shooting Star". I have a couple other Bad Co. albums (Running With The Pack and Bad Co.), both of which have what are considered to be classic rock hits. But except for a cover of their hit "Bad Company", nothing can be found of them on the commercial FM dial. you might find them on college radio, but realistically, the only way you can probably listen to them is via Pandora radio.

By the way, they still have what I consider to be the best jacket photo for a 45. For the song "Smoke Without Fire", the have a picture of a child about the age of six, dressed in a 40's fashion motif, lighting a cigarette.

The Firm

Paul Rodgers & Jimmy Page's best known other band. They had two very good albums in the mid 80's (certainly qualifies as classic rock by today's myopic standards), with a couple of decent size radio hits that were overkilled then and should be overkilled today. But due to the powers that be, not a not is to be heard on the FM dial.

The Guess Who

This band simply screams classic rock. With more than enough radio friendly hits to choke a horse and people like Lenny Kravitz covering their music, they should be all over the FM dial. I mean, they are an anal retentive radio programmers wet dream. Music like theirs brings in the listeners, which means the bucks for advertising (I'm being a realist here), and yet, not a peep is heard of them on any kind of adult rock or classic rock format. If you love The Guess Who (or Burton Cummings for that matter), they came out with a very good live double album in the mid 80's called "The Best of The Guess Who Live", which features all of their FM hits plus a few lesser knowns, and features all of the original members.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

No, I Haven't Taken Another Powder

However, if you remember from last week's post, I had a boatload of schtuff to do in regards to the family going on vaca. Last night (10/22), I had to pick up the family from the airport, and by the time I had gotten back, it was much too late to construct a good post. So instead, I'm opting for a teensie-weensie-sans-commenting-just-to-let-you-know-that-I'll-have-a-proper-post-for-you-on-Wednesday.

I leave with you a selected video that was inspired by a fantastic bio of Freddie Mercury that I'd finished reading at work this week.


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Biggie Wiggie Or Teensie Weensie?

Biggie Wiggie?

Teensie Weensie?

Yes, that is the burning question for today's post. Do we write an incredibly long and seriously verbose post, aka Biggie Wiggie? Or, do we write a post that is wickedly short on grammar and gets to the point, aka Teensie Weensie?

If this was a Teensie Weensie, then the only thing I would tell you is that if you stumble over to the house next door, you will see part deux of Autumn on Cedar Mountain 2012.

If this was a Biggie Wiggie, then not only would I tell you to stumble over to the house next door, but I would start to prattle on about how the writing bug finally bit me but it didn't bite me in the right place and that I started writing a seriously long post (five hand written pages so far, which translates to two and a half blog pages) about what I should work on next, 'cause you know that what I'm writing now isn't necessarily fit for normal human consumption.

And I would probably tell you the reason as to why I'm asking this seemly innocuous question is that I got the final version of my manuscript back from my publisher and I spent the past few days going over it with a fine tooth comb.

But, since this is a combo Teensie Weensie/Biggie Wiggie post, I will leave you with this thought that I'd posted for a status update on Facebook (people, if you want to see a side of me that I rarely show here on the blog, you should subscribe to my status updates).

The working definition of "Stress" for a writer is this: The overwhelming need to return the final version of the book back to the publisher so that the final course of action can be taken, versus the overwhelming need to point out a half-dozen very nit-picky, yet somewhat noticeable grammar/punctuation errors to the publisher that you found while proofing the final version, versus facing the overwhelming fact that should you point this out to the publisher the book may be put to the back of the line so that it could be properly fixed.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Superior...Customer...Service?

One of the many things that I had to deal with while I was on vaca was bad customer service.

Unlike the previous times in which I had dealt with a business entity that had a physical location (like CVS), today's post features an entity with no physical location. Instead it was an online business, one of which that quite a few of you may use on your blog.

Sitemeter.

I have been using Sitemeter almost from the get go, and up until very recently been quite happy with those basic services ('cause you know, I ain't in this for the money). But now, after the experience I'm about to relate to you, I wouldn't recommend them to anyone looking for a depending tracking service.

About a month ago, I stopped getting my weekly stats reports. I didn't really worry about it at the time, since the system would often hiccup and the way it was usually fixed was when I put in ticket for tech support.

However, this time, after I had requested the current report to be sent (which would also fix the problem) and waited about several hours, I didn't get the report. So I tried it again and when I'd checked my e-mail the next day, still no report.

Miffed, I tried it with a new e-mail addy (got four of those), and still no report for either of my blogs (this one and my book blog) was received. So I did what any normal person would do: I filed a request with tech support to get it fixed.

Four times.

Yup, I filed a request with tech support to get it fixed four times, and not once did anyone get back to me to follow up on my request/complaint.

Eventually, after waiting in vain for about two weeks for something to be done, I decided to fix it myself. My fix was radically simple: I changed the frequency from once a week to "never" and will now manually access and print out my stats report.

Now some of you out there may be saying to yourself, "G.B., you only got the freebie version, so you get what you pay for."

While on the surface that may be true, that logic really doesn't hold water in the blogsphere. After all, the website host that we use to house our blogs is relatively free, isn't it? And hasn't the customer service been pretty decent?

So let's look at it from this angle. If, as a web business owner, you offer two versions of your product (one free and one pay), wouldn't it make sense to offer the same level of customer service to the ones that get the free version of your product that you give to the premium member?

Because, after all, isn't the main goal of growing a web business is to acquire paying customers for your product?

If you have crappy customer service for your free product, how in the world are you going to covert those freebies into payers?

You're not.

People are not going to upgrade what they use if you have either a crappy product (i.e. Vista) or crappy customer service (i.e. Federal Government).

So what does this mean in the overall scheme for me?

I'll keep using Sitemeter, if only as a glorified tracking system, but that's about it. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, and for a longstanding user of the product to say that really means that this website customer service has risen to the occasion and showed everyone what an Achilles heel it truly is.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Interviewing Author Jeanne Bannon



Buy it at Amazon
 Today, I'm honored to have YA author Jeanne Bannon stop by Cedar's Mountain to chat for a little bit in support of her debut novel, Invisible.

Lola's not pretty. Lola's not popular. Lola wishes she could disappear...and then one day she does just that...

For seventeen-year-old Lola Savullo, life is a struggle. Born to funky parents who are more in than she could ever be, Lola's dream of becoming a writer makes her an outsider even in her own home. Bullied and despied, Lola still has the support of her best pal Charlie and Grandma Rose.

Not only is she freakishly tall, Lola's a big girl and when forced to wear a bathing suit at her summer job as a camp counselor, Lola's only escape from deep embarrassment seems to be to literally vanish. Soon after, she discovers the roots of her new "ability".

Slowly, with Charlie's help, Lola learns to control the new super power. The possibilities are endless. Yet power can be abused, too...

Then, when tragedy strikes, Lola must summon her inner strength, both at home and at school. She has to stand up for herself, despite the temptations and possibilities of her newfound super power.

A coming-of-age story that will warm the heart.

Jeanne, why did you start writing?

I can't remember a time when I didn't want to write. I've alway loved to read and I suppose that translated into "I can do that, too!" So, I suppose it is my love of reading that made ne a writer.

What were some of your earliest influences on your writing?

As a teen I read a lot of Stephen King. He, along with Sidney Sheldon and Jeffery Archer were early influences.

Why did you choose to write YA?

It kind of chose me. I tried writing different genres and YA was the one that came the most naturallly despite not reading a lot of it. I alo wanted to write something my children could read and wouldn't be embarrased that their mother wrote it.

Why did you decide to concentrate on your particular YA sub-genre?

The sub-genre of Invisible is more magic realism than fantasy. I suppose that might be the influence of the Stephen King novels I read when I was younger. I love to write about real life but with a twist just to make things more interesting.

Have you ever thought of branching off into other sub-genres of YA?

Right now, I'm working on another YA novel entitled Incarnate, which is about a young soul who reluctantly returns to a body as a walk in. A walk in is a soul who decides to live in a the body of a person who doesn't want to live any long but doesn't want to physically kill themselves--a deal is made to take over their body. I suppose this genre would be more paranormal than magical realism.

What has been the most difficult part of your writing journey?

I have a lot of trouble finding the time to write. My work schedule and family life keep me extremely busy and I simply don't have the time to plant my butt in a chair and write.

When you're not writing for work or pleasure, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

What spare time?


Jeanne, many thanks for stopping by Cedar's Mountain today to chat with us.

Jeane Bannon has worked in the publishing industry for over twenty years. She started her career as a freelance journalist, then worked as an in-house editor for LexisNexis Canada. Jeanne currenty works as a freelance editor and writer.

Invisible, her debut novel, is about a teenage girl who isn't happy with herself and wishes she could disappear. And one day she does. Invisible is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, Smashwords and Solstice.

She can be found on Twitter (@JeanneBannon), in the blogsphere and on Facebook. You can also check her book trailer on YouTube.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Nine Tenths Of 1K

First off, I want to give major props to my very strange partner in crime Yello Bear for stepping into the batters box as a pinch hitter for me. Perhaps once he gets done downing all of those honey shots with that Jacksonian of his, we can convince him to stop by and share a few pearls of wisdom.

Now, onto other things.

One of the myriad of strange things that I'd picked up from my late father was his cerebral sense of humor. Like using words and letters to describe numbers. For example, a combination of words and letters were used to describe the title of this post.

Normally, a post like this would be a cause celebre, but considering I took the better part of a week off in order both clear my head and come to terms with a few semi-naked truths, today's post is more of a reflection of what I've done and what's in store for the future.

What I've done is somehow, from May 24, 2008 thru today, crank out 900 official posts for this particular blog. A feat that normally would be very impressive, if not for the fact that some of my favorite bloggers have pretty much done that much plus 33% (or more) during their tenure in the blogsphere. But, and this is a big but, if I combine the total here with all my other blogs (active or otherwise), then I'm floating somewhere around 1100 during my tenure here in the blogsphere. Which makes me a genuine member of the K club.

What's in store for the future is hard to stay. This week, the family is going off on a one week cruise from Florida to the Bahamas, so I'll be doing daycare for three dogs, one cat, one parrot, one remaining family member and myself. I also got a job interview as of the day of and time of this post, so I'm pretty excited about that.

Also, while I was on my mini-vaca, I was (finally) able to come up with a few ideas for some potential blog posts, which strangely enough, were found while I was on my mini-vaca.

My posting may be erratic for the rest of the month, because in addition to the daycare thingy and the job interview thingy, the main operating system that this daffy duck state of ours uses to run the myriad of HR, Financial and Payroll functions for both the public and private sector will be going down on the 23rd and is not scheduled to come back up until the day before Halloween. This is so that brand spanking new non-user friendly (aka compatible with Windows 7 and beyond) software can be installed. So basically I'll be doing various non-computer related work for that particular time frame and who knows what kind of state of mind I'll be in afterwards.

Yay.

However, what I can say with a 100% certainty, is that I'll have an interview with YA author Jeanne Bannon this coming Wednesday, so be sure to stop by and check it out. Also, if you take a quick peek at the Solstice slide show, you'll find some new releases in quite a few different genres that are sure to pique your curiosity.

Lastly, I would like to say to all my friends, blog readers and blogging buddies, that I sincerely and genuinely appreciate the fact that you've managed to stick with me for almost 5 years and made me a part of either your day-to-day or weekly activities.

Sincerely,


circa 2001

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Eight Hundred Ninety-Nine

In spite of what my internal dashboard says, this my 899th published post. And as this is my 899th published post, as well as my first unofficial day back from my short vaca, I thought it would be a good idea to blow off the dust bunnies at my picture blog and use it for a month or so.

To achieve that goal, I spent this past Saturday (10/13) taking a rather semi-short walk around my neighborhood carrying my trusty $20 cheapy (and very dependable) dual video/picture camera. The end result of this was not 27 eight by ten color glossy photos with the circles and arrows, 'cause you know I'm not Officer Obie, but 21 jpeg pics of unknown original size.

So for the next month, I will regale you not with Tales of Brave Ulysses and how his naked ears were tortured by sirens sweetly singing, but with pictures (and captions) of autumn around Cedar Mountain. 'Cause you know, I's like bragging about Yello Bear's mountain of honey shots.

Autumn Near Cedar Mountain, part 1

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Wonderin'?


Oh, hello dare! Dis is Yello Bear again, who is feeling like Daddie Warbucks 'cause you know, I's done got a Mr. Jacksonian in my pocket, and do you know how manys huny shots i can buys with a Jacksonian???

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I's bet yur wondrin' hows i got this Jacksonian to buy all of those huny shots, 'cause you kno, Yello Bear gradijated at da bottom of his dird grade klass, so he's always broken.

Well shure....Yello Bear dun gots the Jacksonian from his gud ole' buddy G.B., 'cause you know, G.B. is still discombulated in the head and thus is suscep...suscip..susap...oh gosh darned sock it all, I's gotta pulley out a dischunerry, 'cause you know, Yello Bear just ain't that bright....let's see...S-U-S....ahhhh, here it is...S-U-S-C-E-P-T-I-B-L-E... susceptible to hypnotic suggestshuns....anywho, he dun paid my empty pokcet a visit and left behind a Jacksonian, 'cause you know, he just ain't right.

But be that as it may, gud ole' G.B. wants me to tell you that he's doing purty good and should be around and about in person by the weekend...he also wanted to let you know that he's been lurking on your blogs this week and really has enjoyed what everyone has written.

PHEW!!!

Dat's a lot of proper wurds for Yello Bear to say all at one time.

Anyways, he wanted to also leave you with a song by Neil Young from his rockabilly days, just so that you can ends your weaks on a gud note.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Discombobulated



Hello dar! 'Tis I, Yello Bear, gettin' ready to chow down on a deeeeeeeeelishush P(ickel)-B(akun)-R(anch) bow-wow....yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Anywho, my good ole' bosum bud G.B. has been a lot of discombobulated with his head this week, so he'un axed me to tell yous that he's taking a much needed seista from the cyber world. Which means, as  to the best of my rekohlectshun, 'cause you know, Yello Bear only gradijated from Elmer Fudd Elementary at the very bottum of his 3rd grade class, that means no trodding around that there social media site with the one billyun active users and no bloggin' written ore commentin'. Excepts heres of course, 'cause you know, he done promises me a case of Onyx Moonshine if I's takes kare of the comments today.

No siree bub, he's gonna spend that time trying to get undiscombobulated in the head and maybe, just maybe, be back to his normal self, 'cause you know, Yello Bear likes it when G.B's normals and not like what's he's been lately.

But never fear, 'cause you know, Yello Bear has something up his tiny little red shirt, in that G.B. has left you a little sumthin' to get yous in the mood for the holidays weakend.

Frankie!




Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Blogging On The Fly

Have you ever tried blogging on the fly?

Let me tell you, it's damn near impossible, 'cause them flies are just so freakin' tiny that there's no way in hell you can rest a computer on them without making fly pate'. Yummy Yum.

Speaking of pate', have you even tried pate'? Seems to me that anything that looks like Mighty Dog dog food wigglin' and jigglin' on the plate, should not be eaten, less you find yourself being the butt of ridicule for days on end.

And what about those butts? Personally, I prefer pork butt and ham butt, as opposed to any other kind of juicy butt. But in a pinch, a chicken butt will do.

But I don't eat too much chicken, 'cause you know I really don't have a groupie that cooks me chicken twenty-four seven and I really don't like the Beaneaters of Boston, 'cause you know, they give me gas.

Flies don't, which is odd, 'cause you know, they taste so yummy and are so chock full of natural nutrients that you simply can't hold in the excellent taste.

And I do have excellent taste, 'cause you know, I am a glutton for the foods I really enjoy, except the foods I really enjoy aren't that healthy for me.

But healthy food isn't what it's cracked up to be. I think my very worst nightmare, would be if I had to become a vegetarian. Just think about it, have you ever met a vegetarian who doesn't like veggies? I would starve to death,'cause the only thing I would have to eat are flies, but you know flies are da bomb.

And they taste even better with salt and washed down with bug juice. Yummy yum yum yum!

Speaking of Yum, did you know that there is a large food conglomo called Yum! Brands, operators of KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut? Haven't eaten at KFC in a while, 'cause I'm really hip to good customer service and the KFC near me don't have it. Same goes for Taco Bell. Don't do Pizza Hut, 'cause you know pizza isn't really that good for me.

And finally, speaking of good for me, this blog still is. And in the large scheme of life, its nice to know that I own at least one thing that keeps me semi-occupied and in trouble.

This stream of conscience has been brought to you today by the sweet sound of Loudon Wainwright III.

Monday, October 1, 2012

It's Story Time With The Best Rejection Ever!

A two part post today, and what makes it unusual, it's that it'll be as short as the stubble on top of my head.

Over at "It's Always Saturday In Suburbia", we have part 3 of The Muse Is Thy Master. Not sure where I'm going with this story, but at least it's keeping me occupied and keeping me out of trouble while I'm writing it.

Not sure if I'd mentioned this last week, but I posted another 4 star review, this time for Gary Peterson's "The Millpond Murder Case". Feel free to check it out and possibly purchase a copy today. You won't be disappointed.

I posted this previously on Facebook over the weekend, and since I don't cross paths with most of you over there (yet), I thought I would post it over here.

In early September, I submitted a quirky horror story to The Cynic Magazine, called "A Day At The Office" for a special Halloween edition that they were putting together. This past Saturday (9/29), I got this very interesting rejection from the editor.

I just got through reading "A Day at the Office" and I thought it was pretty original. In fact, I enjoyed it. However, I don't think it's a good fit for our magazine. Give it a few years, and I think the public may just be ready for this one.
  Now how interesting is that? I've gotten flat out rejection letters and I've even gotten a rejection that invited me to resubmit once I had fixed a few issues with the rejected story, but I've never gotten one where the editor liked it, thought it was very original, but rejected because it wasn't a good fit for their magazine.

I've solicited a few suggestions/opinions on Facebook about this, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts/ideas/opinions about this and what direction I should go in with this.

The Legal Disclaimer

All the content that you see here, except for the posting of links that refer to other off-blog stories, is (c) 2008-16 by G.B. Miller. Nothing in whole or in part may be used without the express written permission of myself. If you wish to use any part of what you see here, please contact me at georgebjr2006@gmail.com