Sunday, August 10, 2008

A Good Friend Is Forever And A Day

Today a celebration is in order as this post is a very special one: My 100th blog post. The equivalent of this is making my 2,500th post in the Topix forum chat rooms. I have done this on three separate occasions, so in essence I've made over 10,000 posts in the chat rooms (itself an admirable or useless feat, depending on your point of view).

So to mark this event, I would like to share something close and personal about me: my inner circle in the Real World. This is very similar to the inner circle I created and maintain in the Cyber World.
To start off, I would like to briefly explain the title of this post. The title is partially lifted from a lyric in a song entitled "I'll Never Find Another You" by The Seekers. The Seekers were an enormously popular folk group from the mid '60's. If you listen closely to the lyrics, it really can be applied as a theme song to the relationships in your life.
Back in May, I had received a few birthday cards from my family and friends. One of them contained a personal note, for which she was gracious enough to grant permission for me to use here.

Hope you have a wonderful day. You are a true friend although I am quiet towards you at times. A true friend is one that I can call and talk to about anything without being judged and that is who you are. You make yourself available when I need "to vent" and even when I don't. Just want to say thank you and enjoy this day and the rest of the year.

While by all outward appearances I am a social butterfly, floating between cliques and making casual friends no matter where I am, in all practicality I am a intensely private person. It may not look it, judging by what I've posted about myself in the past year and a half, but I truly am.

It's very hard for me to have what I call "close friends". I was pretty much a loner during my childhood and my adulthood (still am to a certain degree), so on the rare occasions I've been able to become close friends with others, I cherish them like that there was no tomorrow.

Because I cherish my friendships so deeply, I have also to a certain degree, have gone overboard in trying to maintain them. The wonderful individual who penned the that note can personally attest to my blatant acts of stupid that I have unfortunately inflicted on her in the past four years. The end result was that while we are still very good and close friends, the way we talk and maintain contact with each other has changed. Someday it may return to that previous level, but for now, her comfort level with me is the most important thing in my friendship with her. So long as she's happy with the way things are, then I'm happy.

I would also like to add that she has been my most important buffer/confidant/advisor/inner conscience, when it comes to dealing with the other member of my inner circle (gots only two). Without her to verbally slap a few brain cells loose (and my face) in regards to dealing with our mutual friend from time to time, I don't know where I would be right now.

My other friend is definitely a unique individual. I can truthfully say that she is one of two people that who I deeply respect and admire, and whose friendship I honestly cherish. I have done some incredibly stupid things in the past few years while being friends with her, and I have been fortunate enough that she has forgiven me for my acts of rampant stupidity.

Maintain her friendship, through good times and bad, has always been a challenge for me. I hope to continue to be her friend for many more years to come, and if anything, I will work twice as hard to respect her privacy whenever she needs it.

Sometimes, like the note says, being a good friend is simply making the offer to be there when things get bad and then stepping back to give the person all the time and privacy that they need.

To be there without being there, is the most that you can ask of yourself. Do that, and the rewards can and will be unlimited.


  1. Lovely post. Friendship really tends to be undervalued in comparison to other kinds of relationships, even though often the bonds between friends are deeper than those between "significant others."

  2. Thanks.

    I agree with your assessment that the bonds of friendships can run very deep.

    It did initially pose as a brief problem with my significant other, but after she had met them, it did eventually smooth itself out.


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