I Irritate My Human Big Time

Hiyas!

Allow me to introduce myself: I am Holly, and today we're taking over my human's blog, 'cause you know, nothing irritates our humans more than getting into their business by doing our business, and since my human hates it when I do my business in his business, he's giving me carte blanche in doing my business on his blog in the vain hope that somehow I won't be doing my business in his business for the foreseeable future.

Anywho, let me tell you how I really irritate my human in the morning.

When I wake up, I need to stuff my face with food. I don't really care about what my human wants, 'cause you know, it's all about me. So what I usually do when my stomach is growling is to jump on my human and start purring in his face, 'cause you know, I needs food.

This usually happens around 4:30 in the morning, with repeat performances every fifteen minutes until he finally drags his butt out of bed at 5:30. The second his feet touch the floor, I'm weaving between his legs, 'cause you know, I need to be fed, like now.

So when he stands up, that's my cue to run out of the room and run down the stairs, 'cause you know, I need food. But dang it, he don't follow me, 'cause he has to do his morning toiletries. So I have to run back upstairs to get his attention, 'cause you know, I need my food, like yesterday. And I get his attention by purring loudly and weaving between his legs, which in turn irritates the crap out of him.

Finally, he staggers down the stairs and I race down the stairs and wait for him at the bottom, 'cause you know, I need food and he's the slowest thing on the planet. But when he gets downstairs, I start running all over the place, 'cause you know, I need to be fed, like now. And to make sure he feeds me like now, I'll jump on the windowsill, meow madly and wake everyone up by kicking at the window chimes.

Wouldn't you know it, while I'm starving for my breakfast, he's busy getting all of his precious coffee ready in the microwave. So I jump down from the windowsill and start getting under his feet, so that when he steps away, he'll realize that I'm the most important thing there.

Finally, he walks back to the windowsill and I race ahead and jump on, 'cause you know I need my food, like yesterday. But he only grabs the empty dish and walks back to the kitchen. Infuriated, I run back to the kitchen and start meowing very loudly for my food, 'cause dammit, I'M HUNGRY!!!!

The lazy schmuck finally pours my food into the dish, so I race back to the windowsill, jump up and ring the wind chimes. He puts the dish down, and finally, I GOT FOOD!!!

For the next seven seconds, I stuff my face with glorious crunchies. Afterwards, just because he was being a dope for being so slow, I jump down and regurgitate just for him, which of course makes him yell and wake up the entire house.

So next time you decide to take your sweet time in feeding the animal that happens to reside in your home, be prepared for an unwanted present in an unwanted place, 'cause you know, they come first, and don't you dare forget that fact.

Now if you'll excuse, I have to mosey upstairs and irritate my human's spouse, 'cause you know, I'm the queen of all I survey and no one can sleep on my side of the bed with out my permission.

Music? What's Dat?

When I was growing up in the 70's (born in '65 thus childhood was in the 70's), I had a major problem about listening to music. While I knew it was out there, I rarely listened to any of it. In fact, as a matter of record, the only time that I listened to any music for any length of time, was if I was traveling with my mother. As far as I could tell, my dad didn't listen to music while us kids were in the car, as he listen to mostly AM (I think until he passed away).

At home, I quickly grew to hate listening to music. As a kid, a good chunk of your down time (for me at leat) revolved around two distinct entities: reading and television. So whenever my dad had papers/quizzes/tests to grade, more often than not he would slap on an album of folk music or (real) country music, which in turn would require me to become bored out of my mind because I couldn't watch television in the living room.

If I wanted to watch television during those times, I had to watch it on a crappy B&W in the kitchen. But, I digress.

Having said that, I did learn to appreciate the music I did listen to, like the classical incidental music for WB Cartoons. And teeny bopper music (i.e. The Brady Bunch & Jimmy Osmond). And, as I got older, the pop music that is currently being murdered on radio, I listened o when it was FRESH AND NEW.

However, because I didn't know up from down when it came to music, I would do stupid things like request an Eddie Rabbit song on a rock station.

As I got older my exposure to other genres came along in fits and starts. For example, I didn't really get into Motorhead like normal people my age, which was exploring a particular sub-genre of music. Instead, I got interested in Motorhead by watching television.

Back in the early days of MTV ('83-'88), they would show the occasional comedy show from the U.K. Like a really warped show called "The Young Ones". Anyways, on one particular episode, they had the band Motorhead playing at a protest rally in their apartment. The song in question was The Ace of Spades, which completely blew me away.

Unfortunately, those exploratory moments were few and very far between, as I basically stumbled through my 20's and early 30's totally clueless about music beyond my parents era (notable exceptions were discovering the Sex Pistols and Dead Kennedys via non-music sources).

It wasn't until 1996 that I started discovering other types of music. The reason for that watershed moment had a lot to do with starting a brand new job with the state of CT prepping newspapers (see this tag) and in order to keep myself awake, I began listening to the radio.

However, it wasn't until a particular co-worker was added to my department a couple of years later that my musical education began in earnest. How so? He introduced me to college radio, and from that moment on, I started a musical exploration that some seventeen years later is still surprising me with all of the various exits, highways, byways and rural roads that I've grown to love.

Without college radio, I probably wouldn't gotten exposed to and learn to appreciate the following genres:

1} Folk
2} True country aka Americana
3} True alternative rock
4} True R&B
5} Soul
6} Heavy Metal in all of its glorious sub-genres
7} Hard Rock
8} Funk
9} Punk and its various sub-genres
10) Techno
11} Reggae
12} Bluegrass

And without exposure to those and many others, life would be pretty much a dull journey of ginormous proportions.

Don't you think?

A Rhododendron Trip To The Building Across From The River

Sometimes a road trip, no matter how short or how long, can do wonders for a beaten down spirit.

The month of June* was not too terribly kind to me this year. Between getting sick from a combination of serious sleep deprivation, sleep interruptus, financial woes, stress from work and the wife having a very bad accident while camping (fractured ankle which required surgery, I can pretty much say with a clear conscience that my spirit got smacked around quite a bit.

When late June rolled around and it was time for me to go to my facility to do payroll, I was pretty much running on autopilot. I went to my office and vegged out a bit before taking off to the facility. I left a little earlier than normal, due to the simple fact that my work week was being cut short because of the July 4th holiday.

I jumped in my care with the main idea of taking my sweet ass time in getting where I needed to be. And taking my sweet ass time requires me not to take the highway all the way there. While the highway is normally a good thing for me to drive, because my brain was doing its best impersonation of this,

I decided to take the back roads.

So after spending about several minutes on the highway, I took the exit I needed to take and a couple of minutes later, I was at the street I needed to be. After waiting for what little traffic there was to clear out, I took my left turn and turned on Gavin Degraw's debut "Chariots", which features this song.

Within a couple of minutes, I was feeling nothing but the breeze blowing through my car, the sun in my face and the music gradually bathing my spirit with a peace of mind not felt in quite a while.

It was the best leisurely twenty-five minute drive from the capitol to the where I needed to be. No traffic, no stress, no nothing. Just me, the car, the c.d. and my increasingly empty head. By the time I got to where I needed to be, not only was I at peace with myself, but I was in the frame of mind where I wasn't going to bite anyone's head off while I was there.

To me, a road trip coupled with music (of any kind, trust me, I do these trips with genres that make you look at me extremely weird) is the perfect antidote to what ails me. Let's face, on the road by yourself with just the radio or a c.d. is the best way to get through that part of your stressed out day in one piece.

How 'bout you? Are you able to find that peace of mind when you do your commute, or any kind of road trip for that matter? And if so, what helps you find it?

A Day In The Life Of A Not-So-Modern Dad

I rarely get to spend any quality time with my 12 year old daughter

these days, simply because we're pretty much like two commuter express trains that run on separate rails and separate times. So yesterday (8/25), when the necessity of back to school supply shopping presented itself in the form of coupons for Ocean State Job Lot, I jumped at the chance to take my highly knowledgeable and attitudely challenged 12 1/2 year old shopping for supplies.

So after we had managed to find the supply list from her middle school (note to school, not everyone has access to a version of Word that opens .docx files), we set off on the journey to emptying my wallet. While we found all of her supplies at both Ocean State and at Staples, it was the journey to accomplishing that emptying of the wallet that I would like to talk about.

While we were sitting at a red light behind a a brown SUV, my daughter saw a bumper sticker. The conversation that ensued, while not completely verbatim, should give you an idea on what new territory I might be exploring this year.

Her: Hey dad, that car has a bumper sticker that says, "Save the Ta-Ta's". What are ta-ta's?
Me: Dead silence while I tried to think of an appropriate answer and practice self-censorship at the same time. Finally, I was able to drop my brain down to the sub-G rated level that I've not visited since the early 90's, and said that ta-ta's were something that your mother and grandmother has.
Her: .....(in actuality, she started talking about something else which I didn't get).
Me: (at this point, we were at another red light behind the same SUV, and somehow she got back on the original topic) Ta-ta's is a cleaner word for what people might call a woman's breast.

At this point, I finally managed to change the subject to this particular song on the radio, and the rest of the journey was relatively uneventful...except for battling over MY RADIO 'cause she wanted to listen to Kelly Clarkson and I didn't.

For the record, the phrase "Save The Ta-Ta's" is connected to breast cancer awareness, which I did not know until I was at the second red light and was able to closely examine the bumper sticker.

Anywho, I'm not quite looking forward to this year, 'cause quite frankly, this will probably be the first of many, many questions that will leave me completely and utterly speechless.

I Can Too Sing!

The other night I was jammin' to some music on YouTube: Tom Lehrer, Carl Carlton, Reunion, while I was trying to think of something to write about. I wasn't getting quite the inspiration, so I started singing along to this particular song:

Now usually when I'm listening to YouTube, I use headphones and I'm playing air bass/air guitar/air drums, all lefthanded (go figure). I also sing at the same time, and apparently I torture my family members in the process, 'cause no sooner than I starting singing the lyrics, my wife yelled down to ask if I was swearing to someone on the telephone.

Hardy-har-har-har.

I've often gotten very bad comments, some tongue in cheek and some not, about my singing. While I haven't been blessed with a good singing voice, I have been blessed with impossibly anal retentive rhythm and backbeat, courtesy of roughly spending ten years playing a clarinet.

I've also developed, in addition to that anal retentive rhythm and backbeat, impeccable timing of the music persuasion. But I digress.

About my singing.

I basically can't sing any rock song that came out after grunge rock era of the early 90's to save my life. But...apparently for someone who likes rock music (sort of), I can sing most country and folk, as well as country rock. And for some very bizarre reason, on a good day I can do a halfway decent impersonation of this singer's falsetto:

Don't ask me why, I just can.

Anywho, like I was saying, I can sing country. And I'm not talking about the urbane country pop that's been polluting radio since Garth Brooks was a money grubbing somebody. I'm talking about the urban country of this singer:

I can also sing classic folk, like this song for example (one of my faves):

By the way, I have a original copy of what is pictured in the video.

Now I'm sure you're wonderin' why I'm talking about something as personal as singing to songs (fess up, you do this all the time in the privacy of your own home/car/office/outdoors, etc. etc. etc.). I have two reasons for doing this: 1} I enjoy poking fun at myself and what better topic there is for me to bloviate about on a Friday than my singing (serious and parody). 2} Tripping down memory lane a little bit as I found out that earlier this week was the nine year anniversary of my dad passing away from pulmonary fibrosis.

But let us not dwell on the sadness of the moment and instead, dwell on the love of early country and folk music that he managed to pass on to one of his children. We all need a positive memory of a loved one to use as an anchor in the stormy seas from time to time, and what better anchor to have than realizing that your loved one passed onto you the kind of music you swore you would never listen to as an adult.

I leave you with my absolute favorite Buddy Holly song (got a few originals of him as well) that I enjoy singing to as well.

A Trilogy Of Love

As you might have been able to deduce from my various blog posts and Facebook updates, I've decided to take another crack at self-publishing. There are but three major reasons as to why I would self-publish:

1} I have a few regularly published stories as well as a regularly published novel under my belt;

2} I feel extremely confident (but not to the point of being stupid) about my writing:

3} I'm still undecided about querying my novella, so I really nee to have something else published in order to keep my name out there and to drum up a little interest in my other novel.

With reason number three gently but firmly chipping away at my psyche, I decided to take that giant step forward again. Having both learned my lesson the first time around and watching what others did for self-publishing, I had a very good idea on what and where I should do it.

The what was pretty easy, in that i had three good stories that I had previously published on my now closed short story blog a few years ago, in a slightly different telling/format.

The reason why I chose those stories was directly due to the fact that they perfectly fit the theme of love, but with a slightly different twist.

Story number one is about new love being found, with a town festival being the backdrop; story number two is about love misconstrued and story number three is about love that is taboo.

The where was also pretty easy to choose as well.

There are really only two good self-publishing websites that you can use if you're genuinely serious about putting out a good product: Smashwords and CreateSpace.

Smashwords is exclusively e-books, while CreateSpace is almost exclusively print. And since e-books is not quite the seismic wave of the future that people make it out to be but still a very viable alternative for those who want to put out short stories, Smashwords is where I'm going.

I also took the liberty of setting up an account at iStock Photo, since I really want to have good solid cover for this trilogy. As for the design aspect, I got an offer from a fellow writer in a writer's group that I belong to, of her help with the design for free. So within a week or so, I plan on checking back with here to see if the offer is still valid.

In the meantime, I have a blurb that I want to share with you. I wasn't too sure on how much detail I should go into for each story, so I would like your honest opinion on the blurb. Is it a dieter's delight or should it be more beefy?

Love anew. Love misplaced. Love taboo.
Three short stories that present a fresh twist to those common themes.
In "The Right Thing", Tim is forced to work through the heartache of his childhood sweetheart dropping him for another as he roams a local festival.
"Singularly Married" showcases how love for another can be sadly misconstrued and misinterpreted.
And finally, "Friends With Benefits" showcases how two longtime best friends take their deep respect for another to a place that no one can truly understand.

Upping My Dates

So to bring everyone up to speed with the latest happenings with moi and moi's significant other, here's what's been going on.

1} The wife (aka Joanne) made it through surgery with flying colors. It was an outpatient thingy and we (meaning moi and thou) spent about several hours there. We got there around 11a and because Herr Doctor was running a little late, thou didst not go in until 1:30p (surgery was scheduled for 12:30p). I made roughly three round trips from Newington to Middletown (each drive totaling about 45 minutes or so) and we didn't get home until roughly 6:30p. Staff was very excellent and thou has a follow up on the 23rd for removal of sutures and another cast.

2} I switched gears with my writing yet again, and if you haven't followed my various updates on Facebook (author's page and personal page), I decided to self publish a very small trilogy of short stories that will total a shade over 11,500 words. The trilogy is tentatively titled "A Trilogy of Love" and I plan on doing it through  Smashwords. I download their very handy dandy formatting guide over the long July 4th holiday and hopefully by the next weekend, I'll be doing a boatload of formatting in preparation for August release date. I also opened up an account with iStockphoto, so that I can come up with a good cover, which after I mail in the required amount of money, I'll purchase and do a cover reveal.

The main reason why I'm self-pubbing this trilogy is that I'm still undecided about whether or not I should still continue to query my novella, and by doing this, I'll have something else out there with my name on it for people to use and abuse.

And thus, summer has officially arrived here on the mountain, where it was so hot and muggy this weekend that sitting in the shade of the mountain was a lot like a mouse trying to find shade under a blade of grass.

Medical Update

Howdy folks!

Not much in the way of a post today and quite possibly not much might pop up this week for blog posts.

As I've previously mentioned in the comments, in a blog post and on Facebook (for those of you who are part of my circle, and if you aren't, why aren't you?), my lovely wife Joanne shattered her ankle a couple of weeks ago while camping.

Today, at 12:30p (give or take), she'll be undergoing outpatient surgery (yes, I said outpatient) where she'll be having pins and plate inserted into her ankle. Being the loving dutiful husband that I am, I'll be taking today off from work to help transport her to and fro (how the hell am I gonna get her up the stairs and into the house??) from the surgical center and basically waiting on her hand and foot.

Which means that I'll be stressed out to the max trying to keep the household from imploding, which also means that I'll have precious little down time to do anything constructive with the blog this week.

So if on Wednesday and quite possibly Friday, you see a post that can only be described as "phoning it in", you can refer to today's post for the explanation as to why I'm "phoning it in".

So feel free to send a few positive thoughts towards Connecticut during your day as they'll be greatly appreciated.

Sometimes A Mind Is A Wonky Thing To Have

I've been going through a boatload of stress as of late and it looks like it will stay that way for the bulk of the summer. The problem with having this much stress (work and home, specifically the wife laid up with a shattered ankle) is that it takes a serious toll on my writing, in that it's becoming increasingly difficult to concentrate on my current project at hand, which is rewriting my self pubbed chapbook.

Because it has become increasing difficult to keep my mind on the task at hand, I decided to think about something else. That something else is taking another crack at self-publishing. Now, unlike last time in which I went deep into debt to self-publish a mediocre novel and an okay novella, this time I plan on spending only what I really need (ISBN number and maybe a cover) to publish a little something that I can use as what the retail industry likes to call "a loss leader".

Which in this case is a couple of short stories that were featured years ago in my now closed short story blog "Flashing Georgie's Shorts".

Over the years I've managed to tighten up and rewrite about a half dozen of my personal short story faves from that blog, and so far, I've found two that I really like and quite proud of as well.

One is called "The Right Thing" and it uses the backdrop of Newington's town festival as a setting for a new romance. I tweaked it quite a bit and strangely enough, it remains one of the few stories that I've written that is not interracial (i.e Line 21) that I'm quite fond of.

The other one has a bit of a convoluted background. Originally, they were five separate two page shorts called in no particular order for this post: Black & Black; Uncomfortable; Wthwyt (aka What The Hell Were You Thinking); Wysiwyg (aka What You See Is What You Get) and Wysinwyg (What You See Is Not What You Get), that contained the running theme of friends with semi-benefits.

About several months after I had posted the last story (August 2009), I got to thinking about how they would make one very cool short story. So I spent the next few months tweaking the stories to make them fit, and thus, a very cool short story was born.

However, having to come up with a good title proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be. For the longest time, the title was "Friends With Benefits", which was a bit too cliche for me to use. Next came a title that I pulled from the underlying current of girl on boy violence (not heavy but more like the modern version of Walter Mitty), "Masochism Has Its Privileges". Appropriate, but ultimately not very appealing to the general public.

Then I came up with the perfect title, "Singularly Married", which was inspired by the final paragraph of the story.

Rolling off, she then gave my manhood a hard squeeze, before giving the top of my sunburned head the briefest of kisses. Then, like a pleasant nightmare, she was gone, while I sat there trying to figure out how, in the span of two days, I had gained a wife.

So for the moment, these are the only stories that I deem worthy enough to self publish as an e-book (probably through Smashwords).

I probably do have my work cut out for me, but I do like a challenge, and right now, the challenge for me is to get something else out there that people can get on the cheap, read it, and like it enough to check out my novel, which if you like expanding your horizons with a never-given-it-a-second-thought genre, may just surprise you in the end.

For those of you who are new to this blog or even new to me, the trailer for my commercial debut, Line 21, which is available not only at all major online retailers but from me as well.

We Is Offline

Greetings and Salutations to one and all!

Just a quicky post to let you know that I will be offline for the next few days. One reason is this:

Another reason is this:

major brownie points if you can guess the event that this song is referring to.

But the main reason why I'll be offline for the next few days, is that I'll be attempting to binge and purge the room that I share with the furnace and hot water heater in the realistic hope of turning it into my man cave. I told myself that as soon as I bought myself a new computer, I would redo my man cave into something that is 100% me. Well, I bought a new computer (Windows 7) a few weeks ago, thus, this coming Monday & Tuesday, I plan on doing some rearranging of all the crap that is in this room. I'm hoping to get it cleaned enough so that by later in the month, not only can I start moving my monster record collection into one easily accessible area, but I can get back to writing as well. Because of this, I'll have sporadic access to a computer (like at the public library) and thus will be suffering major withdrawal symptoms along the way.

However, there is one more thing that I need to take care off. I did have a contest last week, and even though I didn't have a lot of commenters, a promise is a promise, so the winner of an autographed copy of my book is.....Lynn!

Lynn, when you get a free moment, please e-mail the particulars on where you want it sent to.

And that, my friends, is a ceasar chicken wrap. I'll catch everyone on the flipside of Wednesday/Thursday, which is what I'm shooting for as a return date to the cyber world.

Count Your Downs: 600

I thought for the next few weeks, I would re-visit some old blog posts of mine and showcase how Cedar's Mountain has evolved over the past 59 months.

I know this sounds a little bit like my new series called "ReDeux!" but this is something so radically different that it will make your head spin, or at the very least, wonder why I wrote some of this stuff in the first place.

One thing that will make this post, which is #996, different from the others, is that I'll be whipping out some tags that have not see any kind of usage since the early days of this blog.

For instance, in celebration of revisiting blog post #600, I dusted off the shelf a very old tag called "Relationships".

Over the years, I have posted the occasional birthday tribute, mostly about myself, but sometimes about other family members.

In this particular instance, I wrote a post celebrating my daughter Jenelle's 10th birthday. And just so I could embarrass her for decades to come, I used a picture from her baby days, which coincidentally happens to be the one and only picture that you will find of me on this blog (or not).

So please take a step back to February 21, 2011 and check out a nifty b'day tribute to my daughter called "Didja Ever Have One Of Those Days?"

What Do You Take Me For???

The other day I got a phone call from an ex co-worker asking about their 1099, and why they hadn't received it yet.

Normally, this question coming from anyone but this person would've been accepted without question, But since the question came from this particular individual, it raised all kinds of flags.

Why?

Because this person is incredibly smart (runs her own music oriented business) and knows how to play the state system like an expert, so in order to get what they want, they will come off as none-too-bright.

Anyways, I returned their call and briefly explained the situation. After they had gotten the answer that they were expecting, and after some guarded small talk was made, the real reason for the phone call was presented.

I listened for a moment, asked a pertinent question, then said I would have to clear it with my supervisor.

Well, that wasn't the answer they were expecting to hear from me, so a few tense words were exchanged. I reiterated my position that I would have to clear it with my supervisor, a few more tense words were exchanged, before they decided to drop the issue and end the phone call.

I hung up and went about my business.

Now if you think I was upset about this, I wasn't. I was more disappointed than anything else. You see, I'm kind of big on BEING HONEST. IF YOU'RE HONEST WITH ME, I have no problem in being HONEST WITH YOU, nor do I have any problem in doing the occasional favor from time to time.

But, DON'T PLAY ME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT. I don't know about you, but I detest being played for an idiot. If you keep LYING to me or being less than forthright, chances are pretty good that I'm not going to continue doing favors for you.

Don't pretend to be my buddy when you really want something, only to treat me like shit afterwards. Remember, it goes both ways, so if you treat me like shit, chances are pretty good that I will nitpick you to death to others.

Bottom line, don't treat others like they're beneath you or treat them with utter contempt. Believe it or not, people can and do see through your charade and discover that the real you is a wickedly shallow piece of human flesh that they'll ultimately have no use for.

Extreme Waffling!

I have two folders sitting on top of my printer next to my computer. One is labeled "Blog Posts" and the other is labeled "Blog Posts". While this does sound confusing, the reality is anything but. The first folder called "Blog Posts" is the one that contains blog posts which are 99% complete and thus ready for posting.

And before you ask how 99% complete equals ready for posting, the answer is that the remaining 1% involves the simple annoyance of inserting links into the post (which is also 99% of the time).

The 2nd folder labeled "Blog Posts", which the first folder rests on, contains posts that fall into three unique categories of waffling:

1} Sleep inducing.

2} No longer relevant.

3} Misconstrued.

These three particular categories were create by me for the express purpose of hoarding pre-written posts until I feel comfortable enough in unleashing them on you the reader.

Confused? Welcome to my world. But we'll try to make your visit to my world (not necessarily this blog, which are two completely different animals) as painless as possible.

Sleep Inducing.

In most circles, I'm known as a reasonably bright goy, in that a good chunk of the time, I can hold my own while talking about a particular subject. By the same token, there are times when I can't, and I'll admit to that fact and politely disengage.

But then there are times when I can positively put people asleep simply by bloviating on a personally chosen topic. One such post I have stored away is about health insurance.

Now, unlike some people who don't have a clue about health insurance (i.e. politicians, social activists and the media), I can talk with a reasonable degree of knowledge about health insurance, mostly from a financial standpoint.

Sleep inducing? You bet your sweet ass it is. Hot button topic? Absolutely. Which is why you'll won't see it here for the foreseeable future. I like you and I don't want to bore you to death.

No Longer Relevant.

Because I write so many posts ahead of time, there are times when a given post simply isn't relevant any more.

Case in point: I had originally written a three part post about what I should work on next back in mid-October. However, by the time I was ready to post part one, my novel was released. This was no big thing as it forced me to tweak the post before putting it up.

However, by the time part three rolled around, the post became irrelevant. Between part 2 & part 3, I did a little networking and thus developed a small lead for one of my novellas.

Doing that made my mini-series relatively obsolete for the foreseeable, and thus the remaining post went to the folder of no return.

Easily Misconstrued.

This one is the most sensitive category I have, in that I have a couple of posts that I wrote during one my numerous bouts of self doubt. If I were to post any of these, I believe that you the reader would easily, and possibly permanently, take it the wrong way.

Nothing can destroy a friendship/relationhip faster than saying something that people could misconstrue.

To sum it up, not everything that I write for the blog makes it to the blog. Sometimes, self censorship is better than shoving your foot down to the ankle in your mouth 'cause you blew your emergency brake.

Don't Tell Them That!

Contest update: To Debra and David, I have not forgotten about you. My book hasn't dropped to print yet (although my publisher are doing their very best to clear out the backlog, for which I am extremely grateful) and as soon as it does, I will ship it out to you.

I would to share with a few pearls of wisdom that I have learned the hard way while I have been on this curious writing journey.

 Don't tell certain people that they're the source of inspiration for a given story.

This is especially pertinent if you write the kind of fiction that I write (here, here and here). This is the fastest way of a) making someone feel wickedly uncomfortable, and b) killing a friendship.

Think about it for a minute. If you write fiction that is flavored to varying degrees with sex, do you really want to tell a particular individual that they inspired you to write a steamy story?

While they may be flattered at first for all about ten seconds, that feeling will change faster than a politician with no courage of their convictions once they get hold of your story and read it. If it contains anything like I write (women of color are the main characters, either overtly or implied), I can almost guarantee that you will have the equivalent of a .45 pointed at an area between the legs while you try to explain their assumption would be incorrect.

So to cure this potential problem, if those friends (my circle of friends are predominately female) of yours ask about your inspiration, lie like a dog. You'll be thankful that you did, and more importantly, you'll still be in one piece AND your friends will still be your friends.

 Don't tell certain people that you didn't write them into a particular story.

If you have a spouse or friend who knows about your writing and is generally supportive of your writing endeavors, and they happen to inquire on whether or not they're written into a particular story that you're working on, don't come down with a case of the honestys and tell them no. That is the worst possible thing that you can say, because it will create conflict and a argument where there was none before.

Again, think about it for a minute. If they know about the story that you're working on, and you've talked about it in excruciating detail for months on end, don't let them assume anything other than they might be part of the story. If you keep them in the dark, they'll be happy and you'll be happy (and still friends/married).

For the record, I have told one person that they were written into a story of mine, and that was because they won a contest. For details, check out part one and part two of that particular contest.

Don't tell people what you really write.

This may sound overly paranoid, but if people know you as relatively well balanced individual with a strange sense of humor and you have developed/cultivated that particular reputation for years/decades, for God's sake, don't tell people what you write, if what you write is polar opposite of who you are.

Case in point: my friends and co-workers have a tough time reconciling the person they know with what I write for fiction. Think I'm kidding? I've had conversations that start and end like this:

Me: "I do a little writing on the side."

They: "Really? What do you write?"

Me: "Adult fantasy/erotica."

They: "Ummm...that's interesting."

So if a casual acquaintance/co-worker happens to ask you what you write, and you damn well know that if you give a honest answer you'll be hoisted by your own petard, do what I do: create a new genre called "quirky fiction" and tell them exactly that. That way, your reputation remains relatively intact and people won't look at you sideways.

So my friends, those are my pearls of wisdom when it comes to explaining the writing side of my life to friends, family and co-workers. When it comes to strangers that I carry on casual conversations, then I disregard the first two and throw caution to the wind with the third.

How 'bout you? Any lessons learned or gleaned from your years of writing that you simply do not do anymore in the company of people that you know?

Change, While For The Best, Sometimes Isn't

This year, while starting out with a bang as it pertains to my writing, is also bringing about a change to my job.

A wonderful co-worker and friend is, after 5 years, moving on to another agency, which promises to give her the experience that she needs in order to stand up and stand out when it comes time to move upwards.

There is a saying in our work world that sometimes you have to transfer out in order to get what you need in order to move up, and my co-worker and friend is doing what she needs to do in order to move up.

Even though we'll still maintain contact via the e-mail and Facebook (we reconnected after a two year hiatus), a part of me will be a little more empty without her cheerful exuberance and and warm personality to brighten my day.

While running my errands this past Sunday (1/6), the above mentioned song popped up my radio, and I think it appropriately sums up my state of mind as it applies to how I feel about my good friend and soon to be ex-coworker moving on to a better future.

What Was 2012 The Blogging?

Blogging for me in 2012 continued the 2011 trend of declining readership, in that less people (not counting spammers) were visiting due to changes in reading habits, changes in how they use the Internet or changes in the real world that ulitmately forced them to vacate the premises.

While all that was going on, I was still being plagued intermittently with self-doubt and burnout. Especially burnout, since I managed to cross both the 800 and 900 post threshold for this blog, and I was rapidly running out of ideas and concepts to tap into.

Out of 3 active blogs that I had running in the beginning of 2012 (book blog doesn't count), two of them, my adult blog and my picture blog, moved into semi-dormant status by year's end. It wasn't originally planned for them to become that, but changing personal taste coupled with lack of fresh adult content proved to be too much for those blogs to handle.

As for this blog, we kept on chugging along, adding new topics to discuss (music for example), new concepts to pimp and explore (book reviews for example) and a few guest bloggers to liven things up as well.

Still, at times we were resistant to the inevitable changing of the guard and the changing of tastes. But in 2012 we grew to accept and even revel in the fact that most bloggers do not last this long as this blog has (4 3/4 years and counting). We toot our own horn to show that no matter what trials and tribulations that were thrown our way, we still managed to stay true to the people who mattered the most: you the reader.

I appreciate the fact that you managed to stick around while I take baby steps in tweaking the focus of this blog. I'm doing very small tweaks to be the content and the appearance as well. Housework one might say.

I'm still having fun with this blog and I hope you'll stick around in 2013 as we celebrate our 5th year (holy freakin' major moose testicles!) of blogging.

I will always be your blogging bud from that wonderful bunion on the foot of New England that we call Connecticut.

George

p.s.: I leave you with one of my favorite songs from the 80's, which is a theme song to a movie that I have yet to watch.

The Slaw Has Been Slayed!

I've always had a curious relationship with vegetarianism and veganism. Waaaaaaaaaaay back in the day when gas was 65 cents a gallon, I experienced vegetarianism first hand during my late father's annual staff Christmas party. He had a staff member who was Hindu and thus would always bring a rather nasty smelling (to me anyways) cooked vegetable dish.

Throughout the proceeding three decades, the only other contact that I had with vegetarianism was a couple of classmates from a 8th grade Catholic school (don't ask how a Methodist me was going to a Catholic school). In fact, my knowledge of vegetarianism was so limited that when I was having a casual conversation with someone and I happened to mention that I don't drink milk* and they called me a "vegan", I had to ask what that meant.

*I don't drink milk because I do not like the taste of it. I will consume other dairy products like cheese and ice cream, but I will not drink milk.

However, as with most things that I initially have no opinion about, I soon developed an opinion of vegetarianism. While I had no beef with those who practiced and pursued and didn't try to impose their beliefs on me (actor Dirk Benedict came out with a memoir that wound up being a thinly veiled paean to the vegetarian/vegan lifestyle), I did have a beef with those who held a holier-than-thou/egotistical drama queen/severely militant attitude about it.

Example of this holier-than-thou/drama queen attitude was found by me watching an episode of "The Real World" in which one of the participants went off into a deep blue funk because not only was a goat slaughtered, but she didn't want to go near any grass that was tainted with goat's blood.

However, I did not see true militancy about vegetarianism, which often goes hand in hand with animal rights, until I hit the chat rooms in 2007.

There, people were so blinded by their twin beliefs that no matter what reasonable scenario any of us came up with that could be applied as an exception, it would be torpedoed as cruel and inhuman. Perversely, this made everyone else more determined to cut this person down to size and show the world how narrow-minded and bigoted they truly were.

There was one memorable individual, who every Thanksgiving would write a letter to the editor decrying the slaughter of turkeys for a holiday meal. Which is fine by me. But she instantly became cannon fodder, as she was so rigid and inflexible in her beliefs that even those where were initially sympathetic to her viewpoint would often turn against her because of that rigidness.

After a couple of years of slamming this person for her views (and certainly not for her vegetarian lifestyle) I moved on to more adult pursuits, namely blogging.

In the blog world, I did come across a few bloggers who either wholeheartedly participated in that particular lifestyle or made it an integral part of their overall health. And the thing that was/is most refreshing about these bloggers, is that they don't try to force it down your throat or mock you for being a meat eater.

With one particular blogger (and you know who you are), I was able to have a very informative conversation about it. She more than answered my questions about it and gave me a somewhat better understanding of why someone would choose to become one.

I'm still not a fan of that particular lifestyle, but as I gotten older, I have gradually introduced certain kinds of veggies into my diet (i.e. peppers, onions and salsa). I've also redeveloped the attitude of so long as you don't mock me for mine, I won't mock you for yours. Tolerance you might say, which for someone my age (47), is actually a good thing.

So remember folks, for every bowl of coleslaw that you slay, a hamburger gets its wings.

And for those of you whose curiosity might be piqued, please check out the following bloggers, who either wholeheartedly pursue that lifestyle or make it an integral part of their overall health.

Riot Kitty at Riot Kitty.

Lynn at Good Things Happen.

Elsie at Integrated Memoirs.

Kids And Marriage

How Do You Decide Who To Marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dips coming.

Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

Kirsten, age 10

What Is The Right Age To Get Married?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

Camile, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

Freddie, age 6

How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?

Married people usually look happy to talk to other people.

Eddie, age 6

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

Derrick, age 8

What Do You Think Your Mom And Dad Have In Common?

Both don't want no more kids.

Lori, age 8

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

Dates are for having fun and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

Martin, age 10

What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

Craig, age 9

When Is It OK To Kiss Someone?

When they're rich.

Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

Howard, age 8

Is It Better To Be Single Or Married?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

Anita, age 9

Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing.

Kristen, age 10

How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

Kelvin, age 8

You can be sure of one thing--the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now.

Roberta, age 7

How Would You Make A Marriage Work?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

Ricky, age 10

Nine Tenths Of 1K

First off, I want to give major props to my very strange partner in crime Yello Bear for stepping into the batters box as a pinch hitter for me. Perhaps once he gets done downing all of those honey shots with that Jacksonian of his, we can convince him to stop by and share a few pearls of wisdom.

Now, onto other things.

One of the myriad of strange things that I'd picked up from my late father was his cerebral sense of humor. Like using words and letters to describe numbers. For example, a combination of words and letters were used to describe the title of this post.

Normally, a post like this would be a cause celebre, but considering I took the better part of a week off in order both clear my head and come to terms with a few semi-naked truths, today's post is more of a reflection of what I've done and what's in store for the future.

What I've done is somehow, from May 24, 2008 thru today, crank out 900 official posts for this particular blog. A feat that normally would be very impressive, if not for the fact that some of my favorite bloggers have pretty much done that much plus 33% (or more) during their tenure in the blogsphere. But, and this is a big but, if I combine the total here with all my other blogs (active or otherwise), then I'm floating somewhere around 1100 during my tenure here in the blogsphere. Which makes me a genuine member of the K club.

What's in store for the future is hard to stay. This week, the family is going off on a one week cruise from Florida to the Bahamas, so I'll be doing daycare for three dogs, one cat, one parrot, one remaining family member and myself. I also got a job interview as of the day of and time of this post, so I'm pretty excited about that.

Also, while I was on my mini-vaca, I was (finally) able to come up with a few ideas for some potential blog posts, which strangely enough, were found while I was on my mini-vaca.

My posting may be erratic for the rest of the month, because in addition to the daycare thingy and the job interview thingy, the main operating system that this daffy duck state of ours uses to run the myriad of HR, Financial and Payroll functions for both the public and private sector will be going down on the 23rd and is not scheduled to come back up until the day before Halloween. This is so that brand spanking new non-user friendly (aka compatible with Windows 7 and beyond) software can be installed. So basically I'll be doing various non-computer related work for that particular time frame and who knows what kind of state of mind I'll be in afterwards.

Yay.

However, what I can say with a 100% certainty, is that I'll have an interview with YA author Jeanne Bannon this coming Wednesday, so be sure to stop by and check it out. Also, if you take a quick peek at the Solstice slide show, you'll find some new releases in quite a few different genres that are sure to pique your curiosity.

Lastly, I would like to say to all my friends, blog readers and blogging buddies, that I sincerely and genuinely appreciate the fact that you've managed to stick with me for almost 5 years and made me a part of either your day-to-day or weekly activities.

Sincerely,

circa 2001

The Post That Almost Was

I've gone through some ungodly cycles during the course of 2012 and let me tell you it has done a serious number on my sanity. As a matter of fact, it has gotten so bad that I had a four page draft all set to throw up on the blog today.

However, after giving it some very careful consideration and weighing the pros and cons, I decided that the draft will stay just that, a draft. But more importantly, it's a draft that will stay within arm's reach, partly as a motivational tool and partly as a depressing reminder of what might be should I decide to take that step.

That being said (cryptically, he implies), I would like to borrow a post idea from fave blogger Granny Annie  and ask you two questions that may give you a little insight (cryptically, he implies again) about the post that almost was.

Have you ever gotten so aggravated or disgusted with doing something that you gave serious thought about implementing the concept of "phoning it in" just so you could get it over and done with it?

or

Have you every phoned it in and either felt guilty for doing it or not guilty in doing it afterwards?