Monday, January 11, 2010

Scary Thoughts For The Day

I was feeling a little down the other day at work, so I decided to shoot my friends an e-mail. I titled the e-mail Scary Thoughts For The Day, and this is what I wrote:

1} I've been doing payroll for exactly six years today.
2} I will be coming up on four years at my current agency this May.
3} I will have been employed fourteen years with the state this March.

I sent this to my two closest friends, Dee & Sister G, and waited to see if I would get a response. I wasn't really expecting any because it was near the end of the pay week, and I knew that both of them would be wickedly busy.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I got a response from Sister G, and this is what she said:

1} I have been friends with G since February 6, 2004.
2} What's scary is that I'm still friends with G today January 5, 2010.
3} The most scary part of it all is the first thing he said to me was, "filing can be fun" and I wanted to punch his lights out...lmbo (for those who aren't familiar with text, the acronym stands for laughing my butt off)

Twelve minutes later I got this response from my friend Dee:

1} I have been with the state nine years, four months, twenty-four days and three hours.
2} Can't remember the day I first met G, but can remember saying to myself, "gee what an odd looking person with suspenders, who wears suspenders?" And low and behold many years later still friends with suspenders man :)

With those two responses, the opening salvo to a one-hour incredibly-riotous-tears-rolling-down-the-face e-mail exchange between three people who really couldn't help themselves that day. The topics that were covered were as diverse as you could possibly get. We talked about sex, warped imaginations, the alternative lifestyle, music, Steve Urkel, bathrooms, looks and even Austin Powers.

Note: I have an incredibly small circle of friends. How small? You can count them all on one hand. These people were the ones, who in spite of the fact that sometimes I would forget to put brain in gear before engaging mouth and saying some incredibly stupid things, stood by me through all my peaks and valleys of the past six years. By the same token, I try to stand by them the same way they stood by me, through all of their peaks and valleys of the past six years, and for the most part I would like to think that I succeeded in doing so.

With this e-mail exchange, we happened to touch on a particular part of our lives (we all first met at the same agency in 2004) in which at the end the bad memories more than outweighed the good memories. So we took those bad memories and used them as cannon fodder, and in the process had a ton of fun and learned a little bit more about each other.

For instance, my friend D is what you call 'a quiet type'. She very private, very religious, mellow, and slow to anger. But hidden beneath that mellow exterior, is a person who has an incredibly sick sense of humor (and I mean that in a good way). She has said stuff that at times has made my jaw drop to the floor in amazement, and that my friend is very hard to do.

My other friend, Sister G (I called her sister because we both share the same zodiac sign in the same month, she is one year older than me and we bicker like siblings) has a sense of humor which is more in line with mine, which is to say that it's funny, provocative, and full of double entendres. She has said things over the years that has made me think about choosing my words very carefully before responding, because if I didn't (which was quite frequently), I would be taken out to the proverbial woodshed.

Both of my friends have that special knack of making a person feel good about themselves. I am forever grateful that they managed to let me (and to a smaller degree my family) hang around with them for so long, because in doing so they have taught me how to let things simply roll off my back and roll with the punches.

They are two truly special people and honestly, I do not know where I would be today if I had never met them when I did. When you experience something bad (like I did in '03 when I got laid off from work), you never think that any good can come out of it. Sometimes though, a very small seed of good can happen. This was one of those times, because even though the worst thing that happened to me crushed my spirits for six months, it ultimately put me on the track to meeting them and made me what I am today.

Believe it or not, there is a question that goes with this post: Do you have friends that can do exactly what I just described? Can they, with just a simple twist of the word, lift your spirits for the rest of the day?


  1. Yup, thank the Goddess. :)Bea

  2. Lana can always do this. I also have another friend where I work who can, and a few others who can do it for me sometimes. It's good to have folks to get a laugh with.

  3. Yes. Not only with a twist of the word, but even a look can communicate a sentence, usually the same one I'm thinking. It's a beautiful thing when that happens. Very connected, definitely, the best kind of friend!

  4. Awwwww! Yes, I do have friends like that - thank God! That's what friends should be for.

  5. Those are some great, witty friends that you are having. It helps to have friends who can put you back on the positive track. When I worked, I remember having friends sitting in the opposite cubicle who could do that. Now that I'm home with kids, I count on all you terrific bloggers to keep me going :)

  6. Good friends are rare and special and beautiful creatures. I am blessed to have three such friends. The type that would answer a call at three in the morning and the first words out of their mouths: "Are you okay? What do you need?" And it's completely reciprocated.

  7. It's great to have friends like that, isn't it? I have a friend I've known 20 years now (my god, that long already?) and being around her always makes my day. We don't talk on the phone much any longer, rarely email, and as she lives in Mass. and I'm in Maine and it's an 8-hour drive between our homes, we see each other only once or twice a year. But when we do hang out, time falls away and it's like we've never been apart. We've been there for each other through some really stressful times, and she and her hubs had me live with them for several months when I was transitioning from Left to East coast.

    There is no price on friends like that!

    (I have a number of good friends where I live now, but this one friend is my longest and closest barring one high school friend I'm still in touch with.)

  8. Do you still wear suspenders? Did you wear suspenders AND a belt at the same time??

  9. Hell yeah I do. That is who your real frieinds are.

    I know a lot of people. A LOT. But friends? LIke you, I can count them on one hand and I think that is a GREAT thing. My few friends rock my worlds and I wold crumble without them. The rest of my buds are GREAT but not the person I would turn to in crisis.

    I have to tell you, your 'Skank of America' had me laughing for days. I LOVE it!

  10. Bea: you're a lady a few words, but I bet that those few words can really help out your closest friends.

    Charles: It most definitely is great to have folks they could have a good laugh with. I haven't cultivated any yet that my current job that are like the ones I talk about now, but they are getting into that realm.

    Joanne: I can definitely say the same thing about these two. I've gotten looks from them during casual conversations that can speak volumes beyond what they are saying.

    R.K.: I actually have one other who lives in the Midwest who is much like these two. Even though we only communicate through the e-mail or the chat rooms nowadays, we've still managed to click much like I do with my friends here in Connecticut.

    Kelly: Thanks. I haven't been able to find anybody quite like those two in quite a while except for my friend in the Midwest. And yes, much like the same with you, some of the people that I've met in blog land have been able to keep me going and have been feeling down as well.

    Talon: it's a great thing to have friends are like that. To have those kind of friends, is a rare gift indeed.

    Writtenwyrdd: most definitely you can't put a price on friends like those. Those kind are few and very far between.

    Bearman: no I don't wear a belt with my suspenders. Yes I still wear suspenders, and the main reason why is that after doing about fifteen years worth of nerve damage from her belt, using suspenders is only way I can keep my pants above my stomach.

    T1G: I'm much in the same boat here with my as well. I know lots of people, only a handful have managed to crack my inner sanctum. And for those handful, they are the ones I would turn to the crisis.

    You are more than welcome for the Skank of America comment, as that is the informal name that everyone who works for the state calls BOA. It is a horrible bank to deal with on any kind of level.

  11. Mama Zee: They are indeed at that. No dollar value can really be put on friends like that.

  12. A guy in suspenders here in the UK would be viewed in a completely different light. What you call suspenders we call braces. Suspenders are used to keep a ladies tights up.

    Now which kind are you wearing? :D

  13. I adore friends like these, and think you are blessed. I have a fairly new work friend (old in acquaintance, new in friendship)who made my day last week by dropping the F bomb in an IM conversation. Those unexpected moments are the best.

  14. Joe: Gotta love how words have completely different meanings in the U.K.

    Anywho, I wear braces...i don't think i wear the kind of tights that would need the suspenders...they're rather snug fitting, so they stay up all by themselves...:D

    Pamela: my friends are like that sometimes as well. Because we communicate via the e-mail, we usually have to use either acronymns or modifieds when we want to swear. Sometimes though, the occasional word does slip through, just to keep everyone on thier toes.

  15. Oh yes - what would I do without them? Well - I am doing without one of them. My very best friend (more like a kindred spirit) passed away in 1993. We worked for the same crazy corporation - one day I remember walking into my office where three people were waiting to descend on me about things they needed and she was in the background waiting her turn. We just smiled and when the rest were gone we were able to talk. I miss her terribly. But am thankful for all my beloved friends as well as the ones who are gone.

  16. Lynn: I'm sorry to hear that. It's tough when someone who was such an intergral part of your life passes away, because I would think that it would leave a major void in your psyche.

    But it sounds like you're doing quite well with what you got, and I would suppose, to a certain degree, with the ones who are no longer here in the physical sense, but with you in the spiritual sense.

  17. Hi, thanks for the compliments on my pictures. I have a really old shot of a weedy overgrown field with a "no skating" sign in front of it. I love that kind of roadside humor. I really like your new profile picture, too. Have you seen those "Got Shine?" signs that are posted on random trees around the state?

  18. Hi Snow!

    You're more than welcome for the compliments.

    I took a bunch of similar shots taken during the various seasons, so I figured I would use one for Winter.

    Haven't seen those particular signs around. Then again, I don't get out to travel much either.

  19. 1) I don't allow spam.

    2) I don't allow spam masquerading as a comment.

    3) And I especially don't allow spam masquerading as a comment that uses text speak.

  20. i hops i kan make you smile too?

    filing is funs!! my jannie maeking me do mutch filing evvry days.

    frends iz good for lifting up speerits.

    i liek yoo!!

  21. And I like you too.

    Most definitely, good friends can lift the spirits tremendously.

    filing is always fun...great way to spend time by yourself...

  22. Yes, I have freinds who life my spirit with just a kind word, you are one! Thanks.

  23. I had a moment where I loved filing, too. All that order. Order relaxing. Everything has a place. Ahhhhh....

    Good friends are gold.

  24. Anon: You are very welcome. I'm glad I'm able to return the favor to you from time to time.

    Natasha: Oh man, you would've hated the daffy duck filing system that the state order whatsoever.

    And yes, sometimes they are good as gold. Sometimes, even platinum.

  25. to fing time in Rypos can be fun too-

    Only got a couple good souls like that n fell way out of touch from these three night job years unfortunately. I know I could just pick up where we left off anytime tho-
    At work- no good friends. Many who talk, n don't listen. No email there, no puters, just machines making tons of food, n folks packing it.

  26. Yeah, it's a bit tough to find good friends like that, and doubly hard to hang on to them.

  27. it's always the quiet ones :) good friends are hard to find if you have one in your life you are lucky if you have more than one, you are blessed.

  28. Anon: That is so very true. To be blessed with multiple close friends, is a sign that all indeed is right with a very small part of your private world.


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