Friday, October 15, 2010

The Ubiquitousness That Is Facebook

No, this isn't about the movie. I don't plan on seeing it either at the movie theater or on the cable movie channels.

This is about the weird things that sometimes happen to me (and probably everyone else) during time spent on this Social Network.

As most of you know, I'm a bit of an anomaly when it comes to Facebook. Whereas most people collect friends like they do baseball cards, I'm pretty much at the far end of the spectrum: I collect friends pretty much the same way that I built this blog, which is/was incredibly slow, steadily thorough, and methodically mecurial.

So most of my friends are people that I have actually known for at least two and a half years, which indirectly leads me to the point of this post.

This past Columbus Day, I was throwing out a few verbal darts in response to that GOP gubernatorial putz out in NY who said homosexuality was dangerous and our children shouldn't learn about it, etc., etc., etc.

Note: For the record, I have no problems with ether the homosexual community in general nor homosexuals in particular, only with gay marriage, or rather with the word "marriage" as it pertains to the homosexual community. Open minded as all get out (others might disagree, but that could be a post for the future)


 I was giving a few of the grossly misinformed people what for (you know the type: the ones that say homosexuality is a choice, can be cured, is an abomination to God, etc. the ones that are derisively called "bible thumpers") and a few of my what fors were getting the "like" link being pressed.

Anyways, I decided to give my computer a break and head out to the backyard to write, so I logged out. As I logged out, I thought I saw a rarely used icon light up.

So I logged back in and sure enough, I saw the friend request icon lit up. I thought to myself, "Wonder who this could be?", which is a normal question that I do ask myself, because I haven't had a friend request in about a month and I don't actively search out people nor do people actively search me out.

Anyways, I clicked on the link and was very surprised to discover that it was one of the people who liked one of my comments making the friend request.

Now believe it or not, I was flattered by the fact that someone thought enough of a comment that I posted on a national link to make a friend request of me, without knowing thing one about me.

However, being true to myself and protecting what little privacy I have remaining on the Internet, I sent this nice individual a short message thanking them for their request, but I had to turn them down, due to this person not meeting my personal criteria:

1} You know me from the blogs.
2} You know me from the chat rooms.
3} You know me from the real world.

Basicaly, this post is the expanded (and lets face it, the long-winded) version of this question:

"Ever had anything like this happen to you on Facebook?"

Oh and one more thing: I did get a response from that nice person to my message thanking me for the polite message I sent to her. She said that she made the request because I had shown myself to be a non-judgmental and caring person.


  1. I have gotten friend requests out of the blue from people I don't know and I do the same - ask them how they know me, because my memory is bad and I just can't remember them? One of them turned out to be one of my niece's friends (who I haven't met) and she apologized so profusely for "bothering" me that I felt terrible for asking.

    I'm trying to stay out of politics on facebook - a guy I used to date "unfriended" me because I joined a liberal group my niece was pushing. :)

  2. haha...non-judgemental. You need ot steer here towards your blog..haha j/k

  3. I'm not on fb, so I can't say that I have. Blogging's the extent of my social networking for now.

  4. My friends on Facebook all know me in real life and most have known me for a long time. I don't "friend" people that I've never met. I've had multiple friend requests from a friend's cousin though... not sure what his motivation is.

  5. Lynn: I'm very polite when it comes to people making requests of me. I've had other requests that were similar in nature to this one, but each of them were given the same stock question before I went further.

    In one particular case, I got a suggestion to friend a particular person who had a bad experience with a couple of years ago. Even though we made our peace with each other, I asked her if she wanted to be friends and I would completely understand if she said no. Which is what she did and no hard feelings were exchanged.

    Bearman: Well, that would certainly boost me up in some people's eyes. :D

    Joanne: Makes sense. For the most part, I haven't had those type of things happen here. Here its been a positive boon in normal behavior.

    Extra O: Same here. The majority of friends on FB have known me for at least six years, so what they see on FB is pretty much what they're used to seeing in the real world. And the people I do friend, I ask ahead of time if its okay to do so.

  6. Awwwwww! That last bit was sweet. I don't do FB but I think you are smart to be careful...and like you, I'm avoiding the movie, 'cause it looks like a nerd glorification jerkoff fest. And I can just visit my family in Silicon Valley and walk across the street to find that!

  7. I had my personal FB profile deleted lonnnnnng ago due to security issues. Now I only have a business page there, which doesn't get messed with, since it doesn't have HALF of the capability of a personal profile.
    I'm not a big FB person, but it does give me a popular outlet for my visual arts business.

  8. the ones I'm most cautious about are the ones of scantily clad women who don't seem to have friends with any of my friends. I'm not very trusting of such requests.

  9. R: Yeah, as sweet as cider gone hard.

    After my experiences in the chat rooms, for the longest time I didn't want to do FB or MySpace, but since most of my chat room buds moved there, I did as well. Haven't regretted it since, although a good chunk of the security advice I've gotten from other people has done wonders for my sanity.

    Lana: That is a pretty cool way to have an inexpensive outlet for your biz.

    I'm always careful about how I have my stuff out there to begin with. The real basic was making sure that I couldn't be found through a public search engine. I can found via the FB search engine, but there is a lot of stuff that people don't find from me on FB to begin with. Most of it is simply a rehash 5 times over from what has been posted here or over in the chat rooms.

    Charles: I could use a few like that. :D

    Seriously though, I haven't had any like that for several months now. Usually that basic question of mine has them disappear within a matter of hours.

    And like I stated earlier, I do have a tendency to grill people about their requests to begin with.

  10. Hi. How are you? This post made me think of my own recent experience. I don't even have a Facebook account but friend requests were turning up in my email. The computer world is a strange place!


  11. Snow: Hi Marie! Long time no see!

    I am doing fine. Still churning out the blogs to the best of my ability.

    I have gotten the occasional friend request/game invite through one of my old e-mail addys as well. I simply delete and move on.;

    And yes, the computer world is a strange place indeed.

  12. I've turned down any friend requests from people I work with. My personal life is just that. Who I choose to allow into it is my choosing and my boss is not one of those. I have some 'friends' on fb that are friends of friends for farmville and I've set my privacy settings higher for those.

  13. Jeanne: I haven't had any requests from people at work, simply because most people don't know I'm on FB. I usually make the requests and I usually ask ahead of time to see if its okay.

    As for privacy settings, I have mine set to the second highest level, simply because of all the grief and crap I took in the chat rooms has made me anal about my privacy, which is also why my circle is so small.


Go on, give me your best shot. I can take it. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have created this wonderful little blog that you decided to grace with your presence today.

About that comment moderation thingy: While yes, it does say up above I can take it, I only use it to prevent the occasional miscreant from leaving thoughtless and/or clueless comments.

So remember, all of your comments are greatly appreciated and all answers will be given that personal touch that you come to expect and enjoy.

G. B. Miller

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