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Friday, July 13, 2012

Channeling A Parental Spirit

Ever have one of those moments, when you're simply doing something mundane with the family or watching a family member do something special, and life is simply chugging along in the same rockin' vein like this:




When all of a sudden, a strange feeling comes over you and a dreadful spirit steps into your soul, grabs your spirit by the shirt color and says:



That's right guys and gals (I'm a modern man here), the spirit of Al Bundy has taken over a small part of your parental being and you're stuck with him for the next umpteen years.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

I came across this realization the other day when I was watching a video of my daughter perform at the Nutmeg State Games. Yes, this is the only way I can really watch my daughter perform because I don't have deep pockets. And for those of you who aren't on Facebook, she medalled in all three events that she'd performed in, and thus won herself an invite to Hershey, Pennsylvania next year. Anyways, I had this epiphany while watching my daughter skate.

My daughter Jenelle is 11 years old going on 22, and after I had finished watching the video, Al Bundy stepped in to take up residence for the next decade or so to help me with a little extra special parenting. For those of you who aren't familiar with Al Bundy's special technique, whenever he happens to meet Kelly's new boyfriend, he escorts him out of the house by first walking him into the door frame, before kicking him out of the house.

My friends, the Al Bundy spirit is an equal opportunity spirit. Doesn't matter whether you're a father or mother, uncle or aunt, he helps out all. Trust me, when your daughter/niece gets older and starts getting serious about boys, you're gonna need all the help you can possibly get so that you can successfully keep the wolf pack away from your humble abode.

Best of all, the Al Bundy spirit sees all and knows all. When you least expect it, there he is.

Remember, everyone has a little Al Bundy in them, all dormant and snug as a bug in a bed of roses. It's just the matter of when you come to that realization that your life is about to change for the worse, BAM!!! Al Bundy comes a-callin'.

Al Bundy is your fiend in need. Remember that, and life will be good for you. Not for your daughter or niece though, 'cause they'll hate you for interfering with their love life. But what do you care? In the end, you'll be singing the theme song to Al Bundy's favorite t.v.show, Psycho Dad.


13 comments:

  1. Congrats to your daughter. That's amazing. As for Al, I used to be a regular watcher of that show. Still catch it in reruns at times.

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  2. Don't forget, I am the guy who likes to sit with his hand in the waist band of his pants.

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  3. That's funny, G. Maybe you can give them the talk that my brother-in-law used to give to the boys that picked up his two daughters for dates. (He has no family left except my sis and two nieces.)

    "There are only three things I love and you are about to go off with one of them. I want her back in exactly the same condition that she is leaving in." :) Said in a nice way, but the boys always knew what he meant. I was there to witness it when Amanda's date showed up to take her to the prom.

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  4. Oh God, if I am anything like him, I may as well fry my hands and eat them.

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  5. Charles: Thanks. It looks like ice skating has won the battle for now. She wasn't able to get the kind of coaching needed to do competitive dancing this season, so she decided to concentrate on the neverending season that is ice skating.

    I like Married with Children as well, and still try to catch episodes whenever they pop up.

    Bearman: Gotta make sure that those waistbands are snug. :D

    Lynn: I may give that a shot when the time comes, although I do enjoy sneaking up on people from time to time.

    M: heheheheheheh....face it gal, we all have a little Al Bundy in us, just like we all have a little Frank Burns in us as well...:D

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  6. "Married With Children" was appalling but I watched it regularly!

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  7. Debra: A lot of people found it appalling, but its sleaziness is what made it so endearing. :D

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  8. 3 event medaling is awesome. Well done and congrats on your descent into madness. though if your daughter looks anything like Christina Applegate back in the day...you might be justified.

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  9. Darth: Thanks.

    And unfortunately, she's part of the way there, so my descent into madness has already been well underway for quite some time. I just didn't know it until this past weekend.

    I. Am. Doomed.

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  10. "Love n Marriage, Love n marriage, get together like a horse n Carriage..." Well, I remember the song at least!
    Alas, I'm sure Janelle the Star will remain popular for somw time yet.
    I made it yhru 2 daughters somehow. I always gave a speech.
    Goood luck with the vigilance=

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  11. Snaggle: Yeah, she'll be Ms. Popular for quite awhile, which will cause my hair follicles to become prematurely gray.

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  12. haha that sounds liek a great strategy, release the Bundy.

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  13. Pat: Absolutely. A lot better than releasing the hounds. If you release the Bundy, then you have no liability to worry about. :D

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