Today's post is the end result of combining too little sleep, too much snow, a general malaise of the body and early morning overtime into one big fat pot of charcoaled nothingness. In other words, genuine real world burnout.
This past weekend, while I was searching for something to write about for today, I started going through my big fat notebook of the first year and a half (May '08 thru Sept '09) of this blog. A few things gradually stuck out while I was perusing that notebook.
1} I was a really mouthy blogger. Mouthy as in, seriously sarcastic and seriously caustic.
2} I wrote some seriously long essay style posts.
3} I had a lot to say and most of the time, I went for the jugular with each and every post written.
By going through this notebook, it's interesting to see not only how I had started developing as a blogger but how I had started developing as a writer. In those early years ('08 thru '09) I was really all over the place with my blogging and my writing. I guess one could say with a certain degree of truthfulness, that I was trying to find my voice as a blogger and writer.
Problem was, my voice as a blogger was not the same as my voice as a writer.
As a blogger, my voice was simply oozing confidence to the point of arrogance. I wrote what I want, when I want (which in those early years, was a punishing pace of one to two posts every other day). I mean, I covered almost every single general topic that one could think of, at least how it applied to me. Truth be told, in those early years, there was almost no feasible way to stop me or shut me up. For all intents and purposes, I was a blogging machine during those early years.
But (yeah, you know that one was going to show up sooner or later) one very valid and feasible way not only showed up to stop me, but it damn well took me by the shirt, jacked me up a few feet, then threw me down a well traveled path that countless others had taken.
And what was that one very valid and feasible way that decided to grace my humble abode?
My conscience and his bitchy wife the Muse decided that it was time for me to serious up with my writing, so they collectively stopped by in early 2010 and basically jacked me up and threw me down the path of where no truly sane and fragile ego dared to tread.
The path of most resistance? Getting published.
So thus began a quest, fraught with perils, pitfalls (without Harry), potholes and more alliteration that you can possibly and unequivocally shake a finger at (but not with a pointed stick), to get myself published the normal (aka not self-publishing) way.
'Course, this meant that two things needed to happen: I had to clamp down on my blogging voice and pump up my writing voice.
But, to pump up my writing voice, I first needed something to pump it up with. That something was finally found back in 2010, which was first specifically mentioned in mid March of 2010 (if you scroll down the entire month, amongst all those posts with a general theme of sex and broken links, you will recognize a post with a title that is now the central focus of my nascent writing career).
From that point on, I did indeed find my writing voice and to this day, it has not left me. That writing voice of mine is the glue that is both keeping me grounded and to a lesser extent keeping this blog going.
As the title says, the present is simply the epilogue to the past, and my past is what truly got me here to the present.
I may someday unleash my true blogging voice again, but at this point, it will clearly be riding shotgun to my writing voice, because right now, my writing voice is now driving the 442 in the extreme left lane down the interstate highway that is my life. And it's my writing voice who will determine how much of my blogging voice will bleed through to grace your computer screen.
And no, I'm not saying goodbye, 'cause you know, you really can't get rid of me that easy. I'll still be here to feed you fresh meat (or fresh vegetables if you happen to be vegetarian), except starting next week, it will be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with an alternating weekend post thrown in for good measure, because you know deep down, truly deep down, you guys are more than just my regular readers.
You are my cyber friends and my cyber family. You mean as much to me as my flesh and blood friends and family do.
Have a fantastic Monday, and I'll catch you on the flip side of Wednesday, when I'll introduce the story that will help me fulfill my New Year's resolution for the 3rd straight year. In the meantime, please check out this piece of flash fiction that my publisher put up on their blog last week for Valentine's Day. It originaly was part of a top five spammer lovefest tag post.
It's called, "A Long Difficult Journey".
Monday, February 18, 2013
11 comments:
Go on, give me your best shot. I can take it. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have created this wonderful little blog that you decided to grace with your presence today.
About that comment moderation thingy: While yes, it does say up above I can take it, I only use it to prevent the occasional miscreant from leaving thoughtless and/or clueless comments.
So remember, all of your comments are greatly appreciated and all answers will be given that personal touch that you come to expect and enjoy.
G. B. Miller
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Yes, the blog shouldn't sap your writing time and voice. Very wise to schedule accordingly.
ReplyDeleteDebra: Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI guess you can say that I've come full circle with my writing.
Until I had found writing voice, my writing took a back seat to my blogging for the first few years. Then gradually, the writing voice became first and foremost, with the blogging voice moving over to ride shotgun.
If anything, I'll still write blog posts during my down time at work, 'cause its the easiest way not only to keep occupied, but to practice my writing as well.
When I first started blogging I wrote every day. It was easy because I had a backlog of stories I hadn't told yet. I started running out of steam eventually. Now I find that there is a challenge in deciding what I have to say, and it's an exercise in awareness to determine that my life IS interesting and if I think hard enough I CAN find something worth sharing.
ReplyDeleteS.R.: I think for the first three years, I had a lot of stuff to say, not just about myself but also about the things that I've enjoyed and experienced.
ReplyDeleteFor the past couple of years though, it has been a struggle to come up with stuff that was 1) interesting and 2) non-redundant.
I still enjoy the challenge of blogging, but now it's starting to take a back seat to my writing.
I think that by cutting down to a minimum of two days a week, I'll be better able to manage my time, such as it is.
This is a cut and paste response just to let you know I enjoyed your post. (Still issues with carpal tunnel and trigger finger.)
ReplyDeleteG: I think it waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot more to say, sometimes not so much. As long as you don't fade away ;)
ReplyDeleteG.A.: Thanks, and you have my most sincerest sympathies. While I haven't had the displeasure of carpal tunnel and trigger finger, I do have the displeasure of suffering from C.M.T., a neuro-muscular disorder that cause's my the muscles in my hands to atrophy.
ReplyDeleteHere's to a successful solution to your temporary predicament.
M: I do agree about things waxing and waning, which is what this blog is going through.
I have no plans to fade away just yet, as I have more goal in sight for this blog. If I hit it, I plan on having a massive celebration.
Lovely that you feel more grounded now in your writing, G.
ReplyDeleteAnd that you value your cyber friends so much is lovely, too.
Lynn: Thanks. It's taken a while, but it is nice that I was finally able to find my writing voice.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was working on the manuscript that would become Write with Fire, the blog energized me tremendously and really helped me out. I test drove lots of ideas on the blog. It is less helpful to me in writing fiction, which is what I'm focusing on now.
ReplyDeleteCharles: That sounded pretty good.
ReplyDeleteFor the first few years, I had a lot to say, simply because I was a refugee from the chat rooms and I was trying to a voice that would work for me.
Eventually I had found my groove and for the next few, the blog became a worthwhile to practic my writing with.
But in the last year or so, it's been tougher to keep that groove while at the same time looking for my writing voice.
At the moment, I'm trying to find a happy medium with both my blogging and my writing, but so far, I'm not having any luck.