For three solid years (2010 thru 2012) I didn't let anyone or anything stop me from achieving my goal of being a published somebody. I developed serious tunnel vision as I motored my way through from a seed of an idea that was planted in my head on Super Bowl Sunday to a first draft, second draft, editing, re-editing, third draft, re-re-editing, contract, cover, trailer, first galley, second galley and finally e-publication, with print publication taking place this year.
With that success still fresh, I decided to tweak a novella so that I could continue my journey of becoming a published somebody. That particular item occupied my time for another two months or so, as I re-edited and re-wrote the novella until it was a high glossy finish, and began the laborious process of querying and submitting.
While that was going on, I decided to work on my slush novel, so that I would have something in the on deck circle once I had succeeded in landing my novella with a publisher.
However, a problem quickly raised its very ugly head and has threatened to permanently derail this new project.
Try as I might, I am seriously lacking the passion to actually write this thing. Whether its because I have the daunting task of completely re-writing 12 chapters and merging a chapbook into a viable product, or the fact that I plan on using my Dragon software to write this entire thing from beginning to end, I honestly can't say.
With my previous book, the passion and drive was there. I mean, I wrote that thing on my computer at home, on paper in my backyard, on paper at the park, you name the location, I cranked out at least a few paragraphs.
With this project, the passion and drive is definitely not there. It's more like, "Gotta sit my ass down and make a go of this. Oh wait, I should write a brief outline/synopsis so I know what the F this thing is all about, then I should do a little research for new character names, maybe come up with a new direction/twist...." and so on and so on. Anything to avoid to do actual writing.
To be honest with everyone, this issue is actually part of larger problem, which is the lack of original writing. I have not written an original word since April 2010. As of this post, that's coming up on 4 years.
Four years of no writing putting me into a sour mood is bad enough, but when I'm reading the various blogs and Facebook pages of fellow writers and I see all of these updates by everyone of the fantastic progress that everyone is making with their writing, not only does my sour mood turn ugly, but now I'm become just a tad unglued.
I actually have nothing against my fellow writers for doing what they're doing and I'm all for them, but comparing their progress with my lack of progress (among other things) puts me into the type of frame of mind that makes it a daily struggle not to act like a total Richard.
So, how does one deal with the reality of when one's passion/drive for writing rides off into the sunset for a seriously extended vacation?