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Sunday, March 31, 2013

I Is Losted

For three solid years (2010 thru 2012) I didn't let anyone or anything stop me from achieving my goal of being a published somebody. I developed serious tunnel vision as I motored my way through from a seed of an idea that was planted in my head on Super Bowl Sunday to a first draft, second draft, editing, re-editing, third draft, re-re-editing, contract, cover, trailer, first galley, second galley and finally e-publication, with print publication taking place this year.

With that success still fresh, I decided to tweak a novella so that I could continue my journey of becoming a published somebody. That particular item occupied my time for another two months or so, as I re-edited and re-wrote the novella until it was a high glossy finish, and began the laborious process of querying and submitting.

While that was going on, I decided to work on my slush novel, so that I would have something in the on deck circle once I had succeeded in landing my novella with a publisher.

However, a problem quickly raised its very ugly head and has threatened to permanently derail this new project.

No passion.

Try as I might, I am seriously lacking the passion to actually write this thing. Whether its because I have the daunting task of completely re-writing 12 chapters and merging a chapbook into a viable product, or the fact that I plan on using my Dragon software to write this entire thing from beginning to end, I honestly can't say.

With my previous book, the passion and drive was there. I mean, I wrote that thing on my computer at home, on paper in my backyard, on paper at the park, you name the location, I cranked out at least a few paragraphs.

With this project, the passion and drive is definitely not there. It's more like, "Gotta sit my ass down and make a go of this. Oh wait, I should write a brief outline/synopsis so I know what the F this thing is all about, then I should do a little research for new character names, maybe come up with a new direction/twist...." and so on and so on. Anything to avoid to do actual writing.

To be honest with everyone, this issue is actually part of larger problem, which is the lack of original writing. I have not written an original word since April 2010. As of this post, that's coming up on 4 years.

4 years.

Four years of no writing putting me into a sour mood is bad enough, but when I'm reading the various blogs and Facebook pages of fellow writers and I see all of these updates by everyone of the fantastic progress that everyone is making with their writing, not only does my sour mood turn ugly, but now I'm become just a tad unglued.

I actually have nothing against my fellow writers for doing what they're doing and I'm all for them, but comparing their progress with my lack of progress (among other things) puts me into the type of frame of mind that makes it a daily struggle not to act like a total Richard.

So, how does one deal with the reality of when one's passion/drive for writing rides off into the sunset for a seriously extended vacation?

10 comments:

  1. A couple of things come to mind, though whether they relate to your situation I can't be sure. For me, if I'm off writing new/original stuff for a week or two, I will spend at least a day or two feeling no passion for what I'm working on because I'm trying to get back in the groove. Usually if I push through that for a few days the passion will return. You've been away from new stuff for a good while so that may be part of it. Second, if I've already told a story, as you've told your slush pile novel, then it's hard for me to work up passion for it. I don't like to know everything because I like to be surprised as I write.

    Anyway, luck with getting back in the groove.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Some very solid points made. When I was writing "Line 21", it often took me a few days to get back into the groove, which usually happened after I did some note taking of the hard copy.

    I agree that being suprised while the story is unfolding is better than trying to re-write a slush novel. I think that is the main reason why I jotted a few notes in regards to tweaking what the entire story was all about.

    Whether or not it will work remains to be seen, but at least it's a step in some kind of direction.

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  3. I think Charles is right. Applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair will result in good work.

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  4. M: Perhaps.

    The problem being is that I haven't had an original idea for public consumption to write about in four years (I'm not counting my personal slush novel for obvious reasons).

    The mojo really and truly has left the building.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i has found you!

    Myself, I tend to do alot of story board plot outlines before I waste time aimlessly writing.

    I find I'm ten times more likely to ditty a little rhyme at pics I made than working on the larger projects. It is a matter of chipping away at them tho. Maybe the getting started at the parts you like better/ see clearer at first will spark it up for you.

    If not, find a better one.

    Just think, you've come up with all these blog posts- That's original!
    Don't get discouraged!

    Happy ether! I mean Easter! Waskally Wabbit...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Snaggle: I's glad that you found me!

    Chipping away does sound like a good idea, but it's still gonna be tough to do just the same. Finding that motivation to write is gonna be the death of me.

    And while yes, coming up with 981 blog posts is definitely original, it would be more gratifying to come up with original stuff to make money with. :D

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  7. I didn't realize you hadn't written since then. It will hit you one day - what you want to write next.

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  8. Lynn: I stand corrected. A few hours after I had posted this to the blog, I remembered that I had finished up a novella back in early '12 that was writing while I was waiting for the querying process to finish for "Line 21". And of course there is my personal slush novel that I've been writing on and off.

    So I should really correct my statement by saying I haven't really written anything original for publication in 4 years, as opposed to not writing anything original for 4 years.

    I apologize to everyone for the memory gap.

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  9. Isn't the fact that you post a blog mean you have written an original word constantly

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bearman: Technically, yes.

    But I differeniate between blogging and writing.

    Blogging you can be as original as you want or as unoriginal as you want. Plus with blogging, you're doing it for fun and relaxation.

    With writing, you're trying to be original enough for people to like what they read and buy your product.

    No originality with your writing means nothing being creative which means people get tired of reading what you write and thus no product being bought.

    ReplyDelete

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G. B. Miller

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