Monday, August 26, 2013

A Day In The Life Of A Not-So-Modern Dad

I rarely get to spend any quality time with my 12 year old daughter

these days, simply because we're pretty much like two commuter express trains that run on separate rails and separate times. So yesterday (8/25), when the necessity of back to school supply shopping presented itself in the form of coupons for Ocean State Job Lot, I jumped at the chance to take my highly knowledgeable and attitudely challenged 12 1/2 year old shopping for supplies.

So after we had managed to find the supply list from her middle school (note to school, not everyone has access to a version of Word that opens .docx files), we set off on the journey to emptying my wallet. While we found all of her supplies at both Ocean State and at Staples, it was the journey to accomplishing that emptying of the wallet that I would like to talk about.

While we were sitting at a red light behind a a brown SUV, my daughter saw a bumper sticker. The conversation that ensued, while not completely verbatim, should give you an idea on what new territory I might be exploring this year.

Her: Hey dad, that car has a bumper sticker that says, "Save the Ta-Ta's". What are ta-ta's?
Me: Dead silence while I tried to think of an appropriate answer and practice self-censorship at the same time. Finally, I was able to drop my brain down to the sub-G rated level that I've not visited since the early 90's, and said that ta-ta's were something that your mother and grandmother has.
Her: .....(in actuality, she started talking about something else which I didn't get).
Me: (at this point, we were at another red light behind the same SUV, and somehow she got back on the original topic) Ta-ta's is a cleaner word for what people might call a woman's breast.

At this point, I finally managed to change the subject to this particular song on the radio, and the rest of the journey was relatively uneventful...except for battling over MY RADIO 'cause she wanted to listen to Kelly Clarkson and I didn't.

For the record, the phrase "Save The Ta-Ta's" is connected to breast cancer awareness, which I did not know until I was at the second red light and was able to closely examine the bumper sticker.

Anywho, I'm not quite looking forward to this year, 'cause quite frankly, this will probably be the first of many, many questions that will leave me completely and utterly speechless.


  1. Please let me object. Breast is a much cleaner word than "ta-ta".

  2. I remember a few awkward convos with my son when he was younger.

  3. G.A.: Yeah it is, but I was trying to regain my footing with this conversation.

    Charles: Fortunately, I've never had these kind of conversations with my son.

  4. I'm with GA. I hate that bumper sticker. I prefer the "fight like a girl" campaign.

    And I don't envy you those conversations...I used to worry about my little brother, until my husband reassured me that he had probably already seen more on the internet than I ever will.

  5. M: Sometimes you can get a point across better using a familiar slang word, like ta-ta's, than you can with a traditional word.

    Certainly got my daughter's attention as well as mine.


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