Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Yay Me.

I thought I would lighten the mood of this blog today by doing what I do best, which is bitch about myself thus pumping up everyone else's ego just a little bit.

There comes a time during the week where a person has to live life like a cliche. And then there are times where you simply have to do a show and tell about certain aspects of one's life. Today's post is one of those times.

The weather has been gorgeous this sumer and eccept for the heatwave in mid July temps have been hovering around the high 80's. While normally this is a good thing for people like yourselves, for me, it has been an adventure in dexterity.

For example, as you can plainly see by reading this post that I have a lot of typos. That is directly due to the fact that the brain cells are moving warp factor ten whie the fingers are moving at half impulse power. The reason why the fingers are moving at half impusle power has a lot to do with the current gentic malady that is cause me a world of aggravation with writing, mostly via the keyboad, but sometimes via the pen (which we hold like a 2nd grader0.

Anywho, the good weather that we're experience as of late has played a little bit of havoc with my writing. See, because the heat has beenj so good for me that it has lulled me into a false sense of security, which in turn wants me to type as fast as I used to, like this:

Once upna time nto to long ago there lived a little girl named atlatlanta who coudl rund as fast a the thewind.

Translation: Once upon a time not too long ago there lived a little girl named Atalanta who could run as fast as the wind.

Because I can't type as fast as I used to (about 30 wpm), I have to type slower than a black republican waiting for praise from the NAACP. Which when I'm not wriiting means i type in lower case and use rednkck eglish. Ya know, I spells purty gud cause i wents to skool.

However, when i'm writing, I have to type incredibly sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow becuae every other word tha i type has a typo.

Like this post for example.

And handwriting? fuhget about it. hand fatigue is the operative word of the day. Honest and for true doc.

I let you in on a ittle itty bitty secret. Do you know I have such a good memory? It's because I can't write to save my life anymore. Honest, whenver we have a staff meeting and I hav to take notes, my note taking consists of a grand total of less than ten words. Man, I doctor's handwriting is more legible than mines.

Now I know what some of yous are saying to the screen: Use that damn voice software that dropped a c note on three year ago. But you know, it ain't really that easy to use/. In fact, we usually have the following issue:

Can you imagine, a writer expireinceing an epic failure like that?

Anyways, I think i've rambed on enough for Prince Spaghetti day. If you think I had point with this post, by all means let me know what it is, 'cause chances are that you're probably writte.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming that is your life. Live it to the fullest 'cause anything less would surely be a disappointment.


  1. Wouldn't Spell Check catch a lot of them? Although I know it doesn't catch wrong words that are correctly spelled, which is a pain because you still have to proofread the old-fashioned way to catch those.

  2. Debra: I have auto spell check activated in Word and believe you me, it catches about 98% of my typos. Same thing with Google Chrome. It catches my types on FB, here in the comments, wherever I might be typing on the net.

    But yeah, it can get annoying looking for correctly spelled wrong words.

  3. I always forget how terrible my own handwriting is until a volunteer is entering something into the database and starts a sentence with, "Um...?"

  4. i understand n feel the same way about my guitar playing n song-writing. Almost in reverse... can't remember stuff I've written sometimes, I'm so sore n fried!

    My typos are fixed n fixed more, then I still see them a week later I missed again n published!

    This 'puter is a major handicap for me sometimes too...

  5. M: I do that all the time with mine, which is kind of scary since I now print what I what I write.

    Snaggle: Yeah, I got the same problem with my blog posts as well. Trying to decipher what I wrote a month ago is always an adventure.

  6. In college I wrote fast and my handwriting was it sucks

  7. typing is about the only thing I'm fast at.

  8. Bearman: My handwriting was alway atrocious since whenever we had lessons in penmanship back in elementary school, I somehow got into trouble and never really learned to write properly.

    Now it's just good enough for me to sign my name.

    Charles: I used to be a speed demon with a typewriter. Now, not so much.

  9. Indeed, voice recognition software leaves a lot to be desired. I have never used it myself, but I have had to help other people use it, and it's a real pain in the buttsky. Sorry to hear that your mitts aren't working like they should. Maybe you could learn to type with your toes?

  10. S.R.: I use when it when I'm in the mood, but that has been very rare lately. Eventually though, I will have to get over my phobia of writing a story with my voice.

  11. I type with one finger and make loads of typos and miss out words. It's not until I have a post on my blog for about a week I then begin to see all my mistakes and cringe.

  12. Joe: I've sometimes not found typos until after my blog post comes up. Between spell check and Chrome's automatic spell check, I catch about 98% of my goofs.

    Still, it is an adventure at work when I compose an e-mail 'cause I have every safety feaure turned off, which leaves me open to monumental screw ups. :D


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