I have, in the past few years, developed a severe loathing of all things associated with working in an office environment. Today's post will deal with one of the things that I truly hate about it.
As many of you know, I work in state government, specifically, payroll. There is nothing worse that drives me up to and over the cliff on a perpetual basis, than dealing with people who don't know the basics of using a telephone.
Usually, it goes something like this: I'll get back to my cube after being away for a few minutes to find that the little red light on my phone is lit up, telling me that I have a message waiting for me (or I'll have the light go on while I'm sitting there. Don't laugh, my phone is just that messed up).
So I go into my voice mail (first dialing the four digit extension to it, then putting in my extension, then putting my security password in) and retrieve the message. After I spend about five minutes (seriously) trying to make sense out of it, I hang up. Then I stare at what I wrote, then ignore it for the rest of the day.
Why? Because~~~~~~~~~~~~>1} You left me an incomplete number. Please, please, please remember, the state that you live in has TWO AREA CODES: 203 & 860*. And quite frequently, a prefix will share BOTH AREA CODES. So leave me all TEN DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER, NOT SEVEN. Especially if you live OUT OF STATE AND COMMUTE TO THIS STATE TO WORK.
Why? Because~~~~~~~~~~~~>2} You garbled your name. How in the world am I suppose to return your phone call if I haven't a clue on WHO YOU IS. Sorry pal, I don't return phone calls to people that make me say, "Excuse me, someone from this number called me. Would you know who that was?"
Why? Because~~~~~~~~~~~~>3} You said your message so freakin' fast that I have no idea on what you're talking about. Listen, IT AIN'T THAT HARD TO SPEAK LIKE ELMO. TRY IT SOMETIME, YOU MIGHT GET YOUR PHONE CALL RETURNED. I'm sorry, but there are times where I would rather speak to a five year old with a mouthful of food, instead of trying to figure out what some lame brain who makes twice my salary is saying.
Why? Because~~~~~~~~~~~~>4} You didn't leave your number to begin with. Like, how am I SUPPOSED TO CONTACT YOU? AM I SUPPOSE TO GUESS WHAT YOUR NUMBER IS? Seriously, do you even think about how not giving me a number makes you like a complete idiot and causes me have a low opinion of you? Well, do you?
Why? Because~~~~~~~~~~~~>5} You ain't my employee. Seriously, do you even KNOW WHO YOUR PAYROLL CLERK IS? This is something that is perpetually drilled into employees whenever they go to the local H.R. rep out in the field. DON'T CALL ME IF I AIN'T YOUR CLERK. Nothing worse than having to transfer your pathetic little phone call because you couldn't be bothered to find out who handles your payroll. Especially if you tell me that this is the first time you called payroll in two or three years.
From these examples, you can see why I don't like responding to voice mails. Shoot, this is even why I don't like answering my phone (another post for another time) at work.
You want a response? Send me an e-mail. I'll be more than happy to politely tell you where you can stick your problem. Especially if you're one of my problem children.
I thank you for your patience today. I promise, I will reward all of you with a more upbeat post very, very soon.
*I read about a week ago, that our state will be picking up two more area codes. So our tiny little state will now have four area codes, which will make ten digit dialing for both local and long distance, a necessary evil. God help us all.