The bear grabbed me by the neck and dragged me over to a picnic table, where he sat me down, then dropped his foot on my to keep me in place. I knew better than to struggle with him, so I simply waited until he was ready to speak his mind.
"I can see that I can't leave you alone for one minute, without you doing something to irritate the human race."
"So what? It's not like you can do anything about it."
"Really? said the bear, who had switched positions so that all I could see was him and nothing else. "We'll just see about that now, won't we?"
He grabbed my jacket and yanked me to my feet. He then slapped me until I was dizzy enough not to fight back. Pushing me to the ground, he then grabbed me by the ankles and dragged me to the sidewalk.
Rearranging his grip, he started to twirl me around like I was a hammer. Round and round he went, increasing the speed until I was about ready to spew. With a burst of energy, he flung me high into the air...and in the direct path of an oncoming semi.
I desperately tried to change my direction, but no dice. It seemed that I was on a direct collision course with the truck. Suddenly, I felt an incredible pressure on my chest, followed by a severe body pain, then nothing.
"You had a bad dream."
Sure enough, when I was finally able to focus my eyes, I saw to my chagrin that I was wrapped up in my blanket like a mummy, unable to bend my legs or move my arms. I also found myself on the floor, resting on my stomach and kissing wood.
"Are you okay?"
I rolled myself over and wiggled an arm free. Searching my person, I felt something sticking into my butt. Reaching into my shorts, I pulled out a very small branch to a bonsai tree. Looking at it, I suddenly felt myself becoming hot as a voice inside my head was yelling at me in Spanish.
I waited for the voice to subside, before I answered my wife.
"Yes, I'm okay. You're right, it was only a bad dream. Good night."
"Are you going to come back into bed?"
I thought for a moment and said very quietly, "No, I'm going to stay here for the rest of the night."
"Okay. Good night."
I didn't say anything. Instead, I rolled over, tucked that small branch under my head, and spent the rest of the night worrying about that big brown bear from across the street.