Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer.
The second man was an Accountant.
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a CT State Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat and said, "T-Square do your stuff."
T-Square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do you stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the State Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The State Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet....
Ate the cookies....
Drank the milk....
Shit on the paper....
Screwed the other three cats....
Claimed he injured his back while doing so....
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions....
Put in for Workers Compensation....and....
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave....
AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE STATE.
Monday, August 24, 2009
25 comments:
Go on, give me your best shot. I can take it. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have created this wonderful little blog that you decided to grace with your presence today.
About that comment moderation thingy: While yes, it does say up above I can take it, I only use it to prevent the occasional miscreant from leaving thoughtless and/or clueless comments.
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G. B. Miller
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Sounds a bit like the corporation I used to work for, too. :)
ReplyDeleteLynn: The sad part is that this is the general picture that most people have of state employees.
ReplyDeleteBut it struck a funny nerve at work when it was passed around.
I hope no state employees or cats were harmed in the making of this joke.
ReplyDeleteNope, only the finest interns of both the human and feline persuasion were used.
ReplyDeleteThe appropriate labor unions and the SPCA were on hand as well.
That is hilarious! The idea of working for the government terrifies me in a Big Brother sort of way.
ReplyDeleteBut then, there are perks.
Yes, oh yes, the perks are tremendous.
ReplyDeleteBig Brother? Hmmm....
I think Garfield would be a good casting for Coffee Break!
ReplyDeleteOh I love it!
ReplyDeleteSeptembermom: I don't know about Garfield. He's a bit too mellow. Maybe Heathcliff.
ReplyDeleteRiotKitty: Kind of figured you would. :-o
Very funny... Thanks I need all the laughs I can get!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to get paid not to work...
Mischief answers questions by blinking for yes, staring for no...
I think we would all like to get paid for not working.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, my current job allows me to do just exactly that.
Sad, isn't it?
That reminds me of the people who were "allergic" to photocopier so they built a new wing, hired a guy just to make copies and then he had to hang them up for an hour before distributing them.
ReplyDeleteG, you have my sympathy!
ReplyDeleteI think that joke reflects how many Canadians view their government workers, too.
Bearman: I spent about three years working at the Dept of Corrections, and you'd be amazed on how lazy some of the strong guys were there, simply because inmates had work asignments there.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine those strong beefy types getting the precious clothes dirty if they had to move a box of files?
Talon: I think the joke is universal, no matter if you're dealing on the national level or the local level.
That is so hilarious...made my day!
ReplyDeleteThanks........LOL
Carol......: Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I was able to make your day.
I will be checking out your blog very soon for a recipricol visit.
Hi, thanks for visiting my little blog! The weekly arts market is geared towards the organic and local. It's a decent mix of stuff, and I would say less "crafty" as most NE fairs tend to be.
ReplyDeleteBut nothing beats a good fall craft fair with apple pie. I will be up this year for The Big E, have missed it for the last couple years!!
Thanks again for the visit!
When dinosaurs roamed the earth I worked for the University of Wisconsin. I was paid to answer the phone, set up conference tables, put out the donuts and make sure the coffee was hot.
ReplyDeleteIn my spare time I wrote a cookbook for my relatives, organized my family tree, balanced my checkbook, picked up laundry for my boss, answered his phone when he played golf.
As soon as my partner graduated Law School and before he could decide to become a Doctor or Indian Chief, I retired.
I bought a piano and joined the real world. Ahhhhh the memories of being a state employee. :)Bea
Kim: You're more than welcome. I think you got a interesting blog and I'll be back often to visit. I'm always interested in expanding my horizons and yours will help fill that need.
ReplyDeleteBig E is always cool. I may try to do the local ones next year (didn't have the time/money in the past few to do it).
Bea: I remember having early years like those. Doing all kinds of grunt work in order that you might get someone to notice you.
I still do non-state things to occupy the long stretches of slowness.
Like handwrite blog posts. :-0
Thanks for stopping by today.
Good one.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDeleteSeems that whenever I post e-mail humor, I get the mostest visitors.
:-O
I should do that more often.
That's a great Joke! I'm going to tell it at work. I love the picture of the purple house too! Congrats on book #2!
ReplyDeleteJ-Marie: Thanks, and you're more than welcome to borrow it. I borrowed it from someone else.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh, laffing my ass off! let's hear it for the state employee's cat!! yay.
ReplyDeleteI thought you'd get a kick out of it.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, these e-mail thingys really hit the funny bone something hard.