Sunday, November 8, 2009

When Girls Drink Too Much

1} We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

2} We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling, "WOO-HOO!!!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3} We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someones butt and honestly believe that we could do it too.

4} In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.

5} We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooooo much.

6} We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because, "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!"

7} We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

8} We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.

9} We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.

10} We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?).

11} We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when sit on it.

12} We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight.


  1. Glad you like.

    I think the blog was starting to get a bit heavy, so I thought I would lighten the atmosphere just a little.

  2. This is so funny!! I do kid a lot on my blog about regular drinking but I'm actually more of a moderate imbiber. And am so glad my much younger days of occasionally sleeping on a mop pillow are behind me.

  3. Oh, drinking, I miss you!

    Not a fighter, but many of these are so true. Soooo sad!

  4. What's my excuse for doing number 11 and 12 sober??

    This was funny. Thanks!

  5. No gender stereotyping going on here then! ;)

  6. Jannie: Fortuantely (or unfortunately depending on how you want to look at) I never did drink while growing up. But I did hear a lot of nifty stories about it...and got a good night sleep at a Holiday Inn. :-0

    T1G: Hey there sparkly person! So glad you could make it today!

    Yeah, I know, I know. You have to give up a lot things in your present state of being. :-0

    David: You and me both. I'm at the age where it's easier to watch people on t.v. getting smashed than it is to go out and experience it.

    Kelly: Sober?? You mean you done this schtuff sober?

    Joe: Nope. I'm an equal opportunist. Male or female, it's simply just the real thing. :-O

  7. What a great list! fits my life 20 years ago to a "T". hehe especially #9! Maybe even #6 a little. Ahhh, the good ole days.

  8. I think it fits everyone's life to a certain degree some 20 odd years ago.


  9. Fortunately for me, when I was a drinker, I never did any of that stuff! Ugh! The toilet one is THE WORST sounding one.

  10. that one sexy move actually can be pretty sexy, depending on how much the guy has had to drink too.

  11. R.K.: Yeah, it does sound disgusting don't it?

    Charles: Ummm....yeah. Touche', you have yet again got me tongue-tied for a response. :-o

  12. 2: Somehow as someone said...drunk guys DO think that is sexy.

  13. And sober guys would think that's sexy only at the Gold Club....

  14. Ah yes, I remember the cool comfort of a tiled bathroom floor.
    and I'm not even a girl.
    I quit drinking after I woke up in someone else's car after having to let a friend drive me home In MY PORSCHE!!!

  15. Ouch....not a good thing losing one's car to the helping hand of a "friend".

    The closest I've come to anything in this post was the summer of last year, when I used to mix little nip bottles of tequila and diet pepsi, then spend a wonderful afternoon of writing while drunk.

  16. Serves them right for drinking lemonade with their vodka anyway.... tonic is a much better choice

  17. Being a non-drinker (sadly) I'll take your word for it.


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