Monday, November 16, 2009

Why Are Men Happier?

Men are just happier people--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to the water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles and character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all you own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle last for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have the freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.


  1. Yes, yes, it's true but.......................well, what can one say. I would rather be me. :)Bea lolololsnort

  2. LMAO! Although I am happy to tell you my last name is still mine, and I would never spend that much money on a dress.

  3. It's all so, so true. I can't imagine what it would be like to be able to schedule things without worrying about where I'm going to be in my hormonal cycle. Let's see... that's my tired week, so I can't stay out too late that night... and that day's no good because I'll probably be in pain. Men have no idea.

  4. The last one "You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes" is very me.

  5. Bea: I think that overall, we would rather be ourselves.

    R.K.: I know quite a few people who have not changed their last names, mostly due to professional reasons, and to spend that much on a dress, well, I've seem people spend 1/10 of that amount on shoes...

    Sparkling Red: We don't, but we should get a point from time to time for trying to understand.

    David: The closest I got to that, was taking a day off from work and doing shopping for a dozen relatives on the 21st.

  6. Yep, I can see myself in pretty much all those.

  7. I think we can pretty much see us (guys that is) in all of that. Which is why we're perpetually ducking to miss the objects thrown at us.

  8. Men are funnier, too. Better jokes. Better boss impressions. Better at mockery.


  9. Most of the time they are. I'm not sure about the boss impressions, as I got a few female co-workers who can give some us guys a run for our money.

    Mockery, most definitely though.

  10. I found your post to bring a smile... perhaps the notion of happiness is not exclusively masculine yet too I am mindful how women sometimes spend so much time relaxing in the limbic system that we can get into places of melancholy that sometimes our beloveds say, "say what?!" :)

  11. lol! Yes, men CAN wear shorts no matter how their legs look, but they really should ask themselves if they SHOULD ;)

  12. Kringle: Thank you for stopping by to visit today. I'm not quite sure how to respond to your thoughtful comment, but I'm glad you were able to enjoy my post just the same.

    Talon: Oh my God, yes, by all means, some really do need to ask themselves, "Why?"

  13. I'm mostly happy because of my cheeky impudent nature than any quirk of gender, but I'm happy to claim it!

    But my Xmas shopping takes ages...

  14. Usually I can get my shopping done in one day, two days if I can't find what I want for people.

    I'm not sure if I would call myself happy by nature, but I would definitely call myself quirky.

  15. I'm still holding out hope that I could be President. :)

  16. Why is it that it's all the men that really should wear a t-shirt at a water park, decide not too? I reckon man boobs should be covered up as well! :D

    All the men I know, including myself, are miserable gits, the ladies on the other hand tend to be confident, happy and much more together.

  17. Lynn: I think that in today's world, we're all holding out hope that a woman can be president.

    However, are you volunteering? :0

    Joe: Okay, thanks for the horrid image of man boobs, I think I'll go wash my mind out with soap. :0

    As for the second part of your statement, I agree 100%. All the women I know are exactly like that, and will put me in my place to make sure I don't forget it.

  18. Love the "never have strap problems in public" and the mustache one cracks me up too.

    A female prez would be a nice change. Maybe soon...

  19. I've sometimes worn my suspenders twisted during a given day, so I guess that would qualify as having a bad "strap" day.

  20. Yeah , that whole urinal thing is UNFAIR!! I needed to pee so bad on the running trail today but slipping nonchalantly behind a tree was just not a potentially cool move for me, ya know.

    Oh, well.... We we gals live longer. Go figure. Out spending all your hard-earned money I guess.


  21. Yes, life indeed is unfair.

    What? Spending all my hard earned cash?


    Sometimes, there has to be an easier way of understanding the opposite sex.

    Dang if I'll ever find it....

  22. Darn it, I wish I was a man; just so I can have freedom of choice about growing the moustache:))

    It's a tough life growing old as a woman:)

  23. Sometimes, it's tough growing old as a man....


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