Monday, March 22, 2010

You Know It's Springtime When....

Disclaimer: This post is dripping with 100% testosterone, and as such, might be offensive to my genuinely warm female clientele that I honestly appreciate visiting my blog each and every day. If you should desire to offer a rebuttal to my paean to the feminine form, please post one in the comment section, and I will be more than happy to feature the non-duplicated points about the male mystique in a future post.

1} The spaghetti strap dresses (coupled with the absolute lack of essential support) make their triumphant return so as to once again bring the alpha male to knees, blithering like an idiot.

2} The semi-tight t-shirt, with or without essential support underneath (and yes, you can tell), also makes its triumphant return, so as to make the non-connected alpha male stop, stare, and possible get his face slapped or punched.

3} Jean cutoffs that show off both the upper leg and the soft lower backside reappear, so as to make any alpha male from the age of 13 upwards, want to follow, drool and realize that they have no chance of a snowball in Hell of ever getting out of the batters box.

4} The plunging neckline that shows off a woman's essential assets in such a way that causes the alpha male to stare until his eyes pop....and walk around on the second level of the average mall looking down over the rail because....

5}...the plunging neckline that is usually associated with the tight t-shirt, thus creating the ultimate cleavage shot, makes its annual return.

6} The tank top also reappears, along with the tube top, so as to show off the incredible artwork that the young lady might have bestowed on the chest area.

7} Not only did the spaghetti strap dress make its triumphant return, but so did its blatantly sexual sibling, the spaghetti top, which apparently has found a new home on those who happened to be wickedly top heavy.

8} And last but not least, the torn jeans. Yes, jeans that are torn in such a way that leaves nothing to the imagination has made its ugly return as well.

Yay tho' the feminine form is something to admire, to put on a pedestal, to worship from afar, all alpha males know that like it or not, we will always be twisted around the dainty and manicured finger of whatever feminine form we choose to worship.....and lovin' every single blessed minute of it.

And for those of you who don't think I've done this before, please check out here and here.


  1. LOL well that kick started my day.
    Gee, from here, Spring means bringing out those knit shorts with the elastic waistband, flip flops and over sized men's polo shirts.

  2. I'd be willing to guess that most of your female readers have either boyfriends or husbands, and are, therefore, quite familiar with the thoughts that pass through the male brain on a regular basis... no offense taken by me, whatsoever... :)

    It's funny, because when I was FIRST married (at a very young and naive age), I actually WOULD be so offended if my husband dared to glance in another direction... but eventually, I realized that there's nothing WRONG with a man admiring the female form -- as long as that admiration is from afar. ;) Besides, one of the things I love about the return of spring is the return of baseball -- which means the return of Derek Jeter in tight pinstripe pants... LOL... :)

  3. LOL G! I'll have to go out and get a spaghetti strap dress ;)

    Where you be? I haven't seen you on the blog. Maybe I should start posting pictures of my spring outfits?

  4. Bea: My eyes! My eyes! What have you done to them??


    Glad I was able to kick start your day.

    Lisa: Actually, I'm hoping that my female readers are incredibly open minded individuals, like yourself, and thus would always know that I say things like this with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

    Ah yes, baseball.....that reminds of a poem I want to post next month about umpires.

    David: Only 110%? Wow, I'm better than I thought. :D

    Bearman: Moi? A...pig? Darn, I was shooting for a lower life form.

    R.K.: (fingers are twitching in anticipation of seeing RK in a spaghetti strap dress).

    Will tell you behind the scenes, and don't worry, it's a good thing.

  5. I've actually had a prob ditching the overclothes- Hoodie n long pants, due to still feeling cool n breezy by the coast here, n not wanting more illness ontop of the current buggy-

    I also really enjoy watching baseball!

  6. I figure it would be much cooler along the coast as opposed to the inland where I am, so probably most people wouldn't be dressing like that until May or June...

    Baseball is good, although I haven't watched too many games in the past two years or so...

  7. I am now thinking of billy goats.

    We are having snow here today, so I am not thinking of spring at the moment. At least it's not sticking...

  8. Ha! What the heck is support under a mini skirt? Underwear?

  9. WW: Ooooooookay...billy goats?

    Bummer about the snow, hope it warms up for you soon.

    T1G: I don't think I mentioned mini-skirts, mostly because I didn't see any that day. never knows.

  10. The ladies and I at the bus stop were thinking about those frighteningly hairy chests that will start showing up around the pool and jogging around the neighborhood. Hopefully, I'm talking about my male neighbors,right?? LOL.

  11. Ah you're a hot blooded male G! I'm almost inspired to write my own tribute to the male form:) Although the last time I saw a guy with torn jeans was in an underpass with his "cannon" on display! My eyes were afixed with incredulity......

  12. Yeah, I'm a hot blooded male whose imagination about the feminine form has a tendency to run amuck.

    Like Woodstock.

  13. Charles: Glad I was able to jumpstart your day a little.

    Can't wait to see what its like in your neck of the woods come this spring and summer...


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