May Day 2010 was an unusually warm Saturday in Connecticut. With temps in the hi 80's and the mountain in full bloom, it was a fantastic day to goof off outside and do frivolous things. In my case, the frivolous was writing.
At least, that was the basic plan. I was so confident about doing this, that my initial status update for Facebook reflected (at the time) that accurate statement.
The first inkling I had that maybe things weren't going to go right, was when I stopped at Subway for lunch. My intention was to pick up a sub, bring it to the park, and eat it before doing some writing.
When I got in line, it took me less than 30 seconds to realize that this wasn't going to work. A lady was ordering about a half dozen subs, one worker was making the initial set up, another was waiting to put the condiments and veggies on and a third was simply standing at the register bullshitting with the manager.
Went to Wendy's and after another 15 minutes of aggravation, got my lunch and headed to the park. When I got to the waterfalls, I saw the initial salvo to the outdoor wedding season. One thing that is quite unique to Newington is that during the spring and summer, the waterfall area is used as a backdrop for wedding pictures and weddings on the weekends.
So I turned around and had my lunch in the one area that I absolutely hate going to: the playground. I parked, got out, sat on a wooden guardrail, ate my lunch, and drove off, all in under 5 minutes. And yes, I actually tasted my lunch: double stack cheeseburger, fries, and a diet Coke (yecch).
When I got home, I decided to do my writing sitting in the front yard. I figured the weather and the live video would be conducive to writing a few upcoming blog posts.
After 2 hours, all I had written were four measly paragraphs. Topic of choice? Not sure and we'll leave it at that.
I went back inside and spent about an hour and a half doing a block of editing. When I'd finished, I went back outside to tackle that particular blog post.
No dice. No luck. No hope. No future for you.
However, all was not completely lost. No sir, because all the aggravation I was going through and all of the anger I was experiencing was the perfect fodder for a post.
Namely, writing while angry.
I can churn out a massive amount of schtuff when I'm angry. Some of it pointed, some of it barbed, but all of it spot on.
For a good chunk of April, I was been going through so much turmoil and aggravation at work, that it's a wonder I haven't self destructed. Normally, most of the crap rolls off, but having a control freak micro manager perpetually crashing down on me for the past four years has finally taken its toll. Now couple that with certain behaviors that other co-workers of mine do which get under my skin, and you can get a basic idea on how volatile my writing can become.
Anger is a great emotion to tap into for a writing mechanism, but if you tap into it for too long, you can wind up sounding like a self-centered cheeky little brat.
I honestly believe that this latest tapping of the anger vein won't last as long as the first one, which lasted for about a year and a half, but it will probably last long enough to churn out some pretty unusual posts.
How about you? Is there any kind of emotion that you hate tapping into, simply because you experience the same type of conundrum that I'd just elaborated on?