Friday, May 14, 2010

Brain Rot

Inspiration for blog title was found at the temporarily closed blog I Am Hopeless

Hey guys, ever had this happen to you?*

You're in a small mixed group of people and a friend asks why you look so glum.
"Oh, I'm debating whether or not to break up with my girl."
"How come?"
"We have nothing in common, and we constantly argue and fight about the stupidest things."
"So break up with her."
"I would, but she gives such fantastic head."

Hey gals, ever had this happen to you?

"Hey Denise, how did your blind date go last night?"
"How come?"
"Well...when we were making passionate love, at the finish line he kept calling me Bubbles."
" nickname is Bubbles."
"Yeah, isn't that a kicker?"

Do you find yourself perpetually making damaging verbal faux pas during social get togethers, at work and at family time?
Do people come up to you and call you "Homer" as opposed to your real name?
Does the resident bimbo in your office seem to have more brain cells than you do on a given day?
Then you're suffering from the debilitating disease known as Brain Rot. Brain Rot occurs when we don't exercise our brain and atrophy sets in from disuse. Fortunately, there is a cure.

What kind of cure you may ask?

Simple: give your brain the proper ingredients so that it can stretch, think, do, exercise.

Like logic puzzles? Try the game of "Where's Waldo's Corpse?"
No? Well how 'bout a good reference book? Like "Home Surgery Made Easy."
Perhaps fiction is to your liking then. "American Psycho" is always a good read.

Or maybe non-fiction is your bag. If so, there are scads of titles to choose from. Such as "The History of The Spanish Inquisition", "Scenes of Crime: Photographs from the LAPD Archives, and "Death Scenes: A Homicide Detective's Scrapbook" to name a few.**

Perhaps magazines are more your speed. "Fangoria"*** is an excellent magazine to start with.

Yes, there are simply a plethora of ways to cure yourself of this dreaded disease called Brain Rot. Try one today, because you know darn well that if you're reading this blog post, then your brain is rotting away as we speak, and an antidote must be taken at once if you want to recover.

Because you really don't want to go through life being known as the only person in the office who isn't smarter than a bimbo (or if you're a gal, a himbo).

*based on actual conversation that I participated in a few years ago. **Actual book titles. Found the first one at my public library, and I own the other two. ***late cousin of mine was a serious horror movie buff.


  1. Usually I would have a great response that is full of wit. But for some reason I feel brain rot.

  2. Tisk, tisk, Georgie, if I'm reading your blog it's making me laugh and laughter is a sure fire cure for brain rot. BECAUSE I SAID SO. :)Bea

  3. I do suffer from brain rot, a lot.

    I like the idea of jumping up and doing some exercise. As soon as I'm done with these donuts -- I will!


  4. Bearman: Oh boy, you better go grab an antidote before it's too late!!!

    Bea: Yes, laughter can be a very good cure for brain rot. I try to do it at least once or twic a week....

    Jannie: Ahhh...the beauty of doing the Pogo...gotta love that kind of exercise...:D

  5. Unfortunately for some of us it's more "poor socialization" than "brain rot," but brain exercise is always good, regardless. ;)

  6. Lana: I suffer from "poor socialization" as well from time to time...:D

    The cure can be elusive though...

  7. My main problems with being social come from two sources, 1) my appearance, 2) my lack of social skills.

    Other than that I'm a real social butterfly.

  8. Well, I don't have to worry much about the hair thing anymore and two, my social skills probably rivals yours in the "lack of" department.

    I'm so notoriously anti-social that I often don't go to any kind of functions (family or otherwise) for fear of making myself look like a fool. And the few I do go to, I fly so far under the radar that you need a radar just to find me on the radar.

    Other than that, I'm the kind of small talk.

  9. To answer your questions, 1) I have had that kind of conversation with guy friends, and 2) no.

    Funny enough, I was just talking to a friend today about fuck buddies and how neither of us thought that concept was morally wrong.

  10. Okay.....

    Question one actually took place in the chat rooms back in 2007, so that particular conversation is there for all to see. Although I did have a friend one time complain about getting rug burns on his knees after spending some time with his girlfriend the previous night.

    Question two...well, I'm glad to here that you never experienced question two.

    As for the concept of fuck buddies (or friends with benefits), I agree that some people might not think its morally wrong. Others like myself, see a shade of gray in which it all depends on what/how the benefit is actually used.

    In this day and age, to some people the act in question one doesn't equate with the act of cheating.

    Interesting question you raise there. I would love to continue this discussion elsewhere, or even write a blog post about it. Although I may have to create another blog or borrow my short story blog to host it, because I'm not sure if I could post it here without offending a bunch of people.

  11. hillarious, just like clintstone :O lol

    i take what's left of my bean out for a run around the apartment every week or so, jut gotta remember to put the dog into his crate, often forget to, then it's a bitch trying to get it back in the skull!

    word verif: seive [even the damn blog patrol can't spell]

  12. Thanks.

    I have these little snippets of conversations that I have stashed away, that I simply must find a home for.

    So long as you keep your bean happy and healthy in the long run, then it will always serve you well.

  13. I am doing better on coversation faux pas. Ever since I asked my hubby's aunt if she was pregnant, and she wasn't!

  14. Jewel: I've done that once or twice. Boy did I feel really small afterwards.

    Now I just keep my ears open long enough to figure out the gist of any conversation that floats my way, so when I do decide to say something, I don't insert my foot into my mouth in the process.

  15. Currently I am suffering from Brain Strain. Paradoxically, the cause is overuse of the brain, but the resulting stupidity is the same symptom caused by Brain Rot.

  16. S.R.: I like that. I find that people who work in IT suffer mightily from Brain Strain.

    Hope yours is just as cureable as Brain Rot.

  17. Haha!! I can guarantee that no guys I've ever dated have had that first conversation...

    Thank you, G. Not only are your stories entertaining (I tried commenting the other day on 10pm but my computer wouldn't let me-Good stuff, G!!), your advice is unrivaled. I'm off to find Waldo's corpse...

  18. B: I would no guy would be that stupid to have that kind of conversation on a first date.

    Glad you liked that story "10 p.m.", and I'm sorry to hear that you were having problems commenting. I don't think it was your computer per se, but Blogger has the occasional bug pop up on the comment form that can be quite irritating.

    Hope you find Waldo's corspe. If you do, be sure to where a gas mask.


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G. B. Miller

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