Naturally toasted goodness, it just don't get any better than this. I just absolutely love the smell of burnt brain cells in the morning....hmmm.....it does a body good to stagger around like a cartoon character, drooling at the mouth and having the sound of crickets echoing in the hollow confines of what used to contain your brain.
And the eyes...did you know if you combine stifling hot humid weather, lack of sleep due to mounds of personal stress, personal stress, and sheer boredom at work, you get eyes that for the most part refuse to go along with the program and simply stay in a dull languid state of show and tell.
The brain...did you know that brain steaks are the new health food? Yes sirree bob, its the truth. They're real easy to cook. All ya have to do is stand outside in that same hot and humid weather (this recipe only works in the Northeast, so for the rest of the country, my apologies. maybe), stare at the sky for several minutes, and viola', she is done. Just whack your head a couple of times with a crowbar and in no time at all, medium size chunks of brain steaks will come a-poppin' out. Just remember that you can't do this all the time, because eventually most of your motor functions, living functions and just plain functions will cease to be, leaving you to be just a piece of human flesh straight out of 2525.
Getting grossed out yet?
Yes, gag me with a spoon because I am like so totally sure of barfing out because this is just so grody to the max.
And now....drum roll please....I present to you......da da da da da da da da da da da....the body!
Yes, the human body!
Did you know if you combine all of those disgusting characteristics mentioned in the preceding paragraph, you get basically a liquid body that would be perfect for a schlocky B movie gorefest? Didja? Hah? Didja?
Yes indeedie doodie, a beer-battered-meat-tenderized-marinating-in-its-own-unique-special-blend-of-thousands-of-herbs-and-spices-one-of-a-kind-delectable-goody is just waiting for you to serve it up to your family and friends, who of course enjoy the natural foods that you produce from your garden of Eden.
My friends, who are within the sound of my voice, my question to you is this: What kind of greens or potatoes would best compliment the items on today's menu? More importantly though, what kind of wine would go best with these good eats?