Monday, August 9, 2010

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

But for this wicked guy, rest is sorely needed.

Not quite burning the candle at both ends, but probably holding a bunson burner to the middle of a rather juicy jelly donut, we'uns is scrapping the bottom of BP's oil encrusted shoe looking for new cannon fodder.

I done milked the fodder that is my life until it screamed in ag-o-ny. I've stuck bamboo shoots under my fingernails until blood ran down my arms, dripped off my elbows and formed tiny little puddles at my feet. I've stuck a hook up my nose and fished around for ideas but only pulled out a few small chunks of brain.

So now I'm looking to the Cyber World and Real World for cannon fodder.

And........................................with apologies to the people who know me, I did find summtin' ta write about.

Didja evuh have to explin a funny comment or one line liner that you uttered, simply because the person you uttered it to, don't quite get it?

The other day, I said something funny, and the person to who I says it to, don't quite get it.

So being the good guy that I am, I spent the next twenty minutes (1,200 seconds) or so, patiently explinin' what it was that I actually said. However, the problem I had explinin' what it was I actually said was highly X-rated, yet the original language used was highly G-rated.





A hot looking 23 year old come skipping into the room, jamming on her IPod and dancing up a storm. She pauses in front of the blogger, sees the long drip of drool falling down from the corner of his mouth, waves her hand a couple of times, shakes her head and turns to the readers.

"Hi! Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control or imagination, our blogger has had his brain temporarily repossessed for non-payment. In the meantime, I want you to hear and see my latest favorite song. It's from Cage The Elephant called Ain't No Rest For The Wicked."


  1. You cracked me up at "bunson burner to the middle of a rather juicy jelly donut."

  2. Extra O: What part? :D

    David: I was thinking of Homer Simpson when I wrote it, so it worked out well. :D

    Charles: The band was sort of a flash in the pan on the commercial FM, but the song really is funky.

  3. I'm on my too slow for video computer. I'll have to check out the video later.

  4. The jelly doughnut line is priceless!

  5. Mama Z: Its a pretty decent video and song. Was the latest alternative flavor of the month last year.

    R: I have a tendency to come up with at least one good zinger per week on this blog.

    Wish I could find a way to harness it.

    Like I said, was thinking about a line from a Simpson episode when I wrote this.

  6. Homer Simpson as a muse possibly? Interesting.... :)

  7. Stranger things have happened.

  8. I really like "In One Ear" or "Back Against The Wall" by CTE. Soooooooo how's about that X-rated explanation???

  9. Angela: Howdy do stranger!

    "Back Against The Wall" is a cool song too. I just found that this one was more appropriate for the post title.

    You know, its a sad thing when you can't quite remember (especially for me, since I got such a good memory) what it was you said. Sometimes when a co-worker says something innocuous, you play right off of it without even thinking, and that's what I did with this one.

    What helped was the fact that most of immediate my co-workers are in my age range (40+) so when I say something like this, I often don't get into trouble.

    The best I can tell you was that the comment probably had something to do with having sex.

  10. Tough explaining clever comebacks to innocents!

  11. Oh man, is it ever. I had made a funny comment to a co-worker early yesterday morning while on my way to the kitchen, and unfortunately, I had to explain it while on the way to my cube. By the time I got done, it wasn't funny anymore.


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G. B. Miller

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