There are a ton o' blogs out in the blogsphere that not only talk the talk about good writing, but walk the walk as well. Blogs hosted by such talented writers as Charles Gramlich, David Cranmer, Travis Erwin, Sandra Seamans, D. Lynn Frazier, Rule of Three and even super-agent Nathan Bransford explain and expound on such diverse topics as: what it takes to be a good writer, technique, plotting, research and the old adage of sitting-your-fat-ass-in-the-chair-and-writing.
However, yours truly has not seen a whole lot of blogs dedicated to bad writing or at the very least a multitude of posts dedicated to them. And I'm not not talking about posts mocking people for their bad/mediocre writing, or querying skills, or presentation skills either (the all time classic mocking of bad writing is this very popular contest). Just like writing good is an acquired talent, so is writing bad. Yes, there is a certain talent to be had when it comes to writing bad.
Scoff if you must and laugh if you dare, but it takes hard work and extreme dedication to the craft of writing bad. Don't believe me? Well, keep your eyes glued (no, don't use super glue, use good old-fashioned Elmer's) to this blog, because this post is the opening salvo on a new series called "Don't Write Like This".
"Don't Write Like This" will explore the world of bad writing and the inflated ego that comes with it, using yours truly as the primary source for information.
Yes, you heard right. I said, "Yours truly." Why yours truly?
Because yours truly was during his early years (2005-08) a wickedly horrendous writer who possessed a confidence in his ability that bordered on arrogance. It took me a very long time to get to the plateau of being a C+/B- writer. And that plateau was reached the hard way: namely getting smacked upside my head and kicked to the curb.
Among the many topics that I'll be covering in addition to bad writing will be:
1} Self publishing.
2} Writing contests.
5} Good publicity versus bad publicity.
6} Examples of bad writing.
7} And many, many more that I haven't even thought of yet.
So hitch up that turbo charged V8 110 octane John Deere tractor to the pygmy pony and join me on the trip of a lifetime.
A trip where I spend a good chunk of the time cutting myself down to size and showing everyone how not to write.
Because after all, wouldn't you rather be known as a good writer, than as a writer like Snoopy?