Monday, November 15, 2010

Divebombing Until You're Breathless

Holy Blogging Blogger Batman! It's my 550th post!

Continuing on a post from last week in which I talked about trying to reconcile my personal views about women with what I write, I thought I would talk about another thorny dilemma that I currently face with a greater degree of frequency than the other examples I gave last week combined, and its something that you might encounter during your day-to-day activities, no matter what your gender preference may be.

For the most part, I work in an office full of very attractive professional women, and I say that with no malice of lust, but simply as a matter of record.

The problem that seems to crop up with a degree of frequency that the frat boy kind of guy would be in seventh heaven with, but yours truly finds to a certain degree, to be unsettling, is when I either happen to strike up a conversation or happen to ride in the elevator with a member of the opposite sex.

The writer in me would probably write about these encounters heavily flavored with sexual innuendos, crudeness or blatant sexual foreplay. In the real world, because these professional women are quite attractive and even though the attire that they wear is appropriate for an office setting, the fact that this attire more often than not accentuates what they got, usually puts me in a predicament of ginormous proportions.

Okay, I might be exaggerating just a tad, but I'm sure you're asking the screen, "How?"

Well, to use a crude example, there was a particular comment (please read #5) left in a post written by my good friend Riot Kitty, which basically was a thinly veiled insult about how guys would more often than not focus on the size of in front of them as opposed to the brains behind them.

To certain degree he is correct. Most guys do have a tendency to focus on the size and/or the valley that the size creates and not the brains behind them. And this is a problem that I do have a tendency to suffer from as well.

I try to focus on the brains behind the size when I have a conversation with a woman, although because of my lack of height (I'm 5' 5" without shoes), talking to a woman who is of my height is infrequent at best. I'm either looking up at them (somewhat bad) or looking down at them (very, very bad). The person that is, although for sake of argument, you can probably substitute "boobs" for "person" and it would pretty much mean the same thing.

Because of that, my conversations have a tendency to be somewhat clipped and disjointed. Bad I know, but the alternative could be infinitely worse. I'm sure my female readers could probably agree with me on that point.

Now as for riding in elevators, it becomes a slipperier slope. If I'm riding in a elevator by myself and a couple of women enter the elevator, I have a tendency to either stare at the floor, stare at the floor numbers counting down (or going up) or simply close my eyes. Same deal applies if I'm entering the elevator and there is at least one other attractive co-worker already there.

For what its worth, I do try to stave off any potential headaches by either offering a genuine compliment about their appearance or...well, I guess appearance does cover just about everything doesn't it?

But wait, there's more.

Sometimes I'll ask about a particular item of clothing that they're wearing and quickly add in that I write and I'm trying to make sure that I get accurate descriptions of clothing and accessories. Or sometimes, I'll ask about the visible tattoo that adorns a particular part of their anatomy.

It is a very fine line that I walk during my M-F existence, and so far I have survived these potential landmines with my gift of gab, a writer's eye for research and the small fact that I'm a genuinely nice person.

So my question to you out there is: do you suffer through something like this during your M-F work day? How do you diffuse a potentially awkward moment? And it doesn't matter if either gender answers because I really am curious about how women might handle these types of encounters.


  1. Honestly, G, it seems like a lot of men seem to get stuck in third grade! I know that as they get older, my husband, case in point, certainly has the humor of a third grader.
    Here's a tip for you. When you get on the elevator, stop thinking about female bodies, boobs, clothing and if you feel the need to talk ask about their hobbies, their passions, do they rock climb, read books, deep sea dive do they have kids, been to any soccer games, do they have season tickets to the college football, b-ball, concerts, etc? Get to know them for who they really are and not the shell they lucked out in getting, for their body, this time around.
    I've been known to get on the elevator and take requests for floors to push the buttons. It gives me something to do when I really don't like being in a small space with a dozen people. :)Bea

  2. my situation is actually worse than yours I think, because the vast majority of my students are females. I spend a lot of time looking at feet and chins and above people's heads. And I never comment on what one of my students is wearing other than a very occassional, that looks nice when they are clealry intentionally dresed up for some occassion.

  3. Wow, I don't see any comments on this so far. Maybe there's a good reason for that!

    Really tough topic. I'd answer you now, but there's this long legged blonde girl coming down the hall and I don't want to miss a single step.

  4. I'm probably missing the point - I do end up with attractive men on the elevator sometimes, but I don't initiate conversation with them unless there is a reason to. A man was singing one day as I walked behind him and I commented that he sounded happy. That kind of thing.

  5. Bea: I actually do do that, because I have worked in this building for almost 5 years, so I've gotten to know everyone to a certain degree. But there are times when staff members from the regional offices come to the main office for work, and that's when it becomes a problem for me. Be it on the elevator or simply walking down the hallway.

    Charles: I definitely can understand the incredibly fine line you have to walk for the environment that you work in. I remember having that issue when I was a few decades younger and I would have to vist my dad at his campus office. Was tough then and its tough now.

    Rick: Where? Where? Point me in the proper direction!

    In all seriousness, it's a very touchy topic (no pun intended) in this hyper PC environment to talk about.

    Lynn: I don't think so. I know I talk about things like this from a guy's perspective, and I wanted to get a woman's viewpoint on a topic such as this for change.

    I really am curious if women treat a hot looking man the same way us guys would do treat an encounter with a hot looking woman.

  6. I'm going to make it my business from now on to stare at men's groins on the pretext I'm interested in the design and texture of their pants:)))

    Men. God bless you and all your funny ways!!

  7. It seems to me that men find more women attractive than vice versa in the course of a day. Maybe it's because women don't tend (at least not me and none of the women I know) to compartmentalize men in quite the same way that men tend to do with women.

    When I've encountered attractive men I have never commented on their appearance. But we might have shared some eye contact and a smile perhaps.

  8. Jane: Why yes, feel free to comment on the texture and design of our pants, for we always are willing to share our good taste. :D

    We are strange 'uns at that

    Talon: That sounds cool and very safe (and I mean that in a good way).

    Yeah, I agree that men (including me sometimes) do compartmentalize women to a certain degree, if only because most women can wrap a guy around their fingers without even knowing that they're doing it.

    Sad but probably true.

  9. Working for myself, I don't have to go through that scenario much anymore. I have, however, done remodeling work in homes where the lady of the house is a knockout. Of course, I often encounter beautiful women during the course of my day, as anyone does.

    I long ago learned to not stare or drool. Ha ha. Seriously, I almost always stick to eye contact because I have to put myself in their shoes and wonder what it would be like to be leered at everywhere I go. It's gotta get irritating. Maybe maturity in a man can be gauged by his ability to get past the mindset "Well, if she didn't want us guys to look, she wouldn't have dressed that way in the first place!"

  10. Cosmic: I like the name change, although you'll always be Gumby in my eyes.

    Yeah, I can see where that would be a problem (pleasant or otherwise) to have in the home improvement field.

    Which reminds me, in addition to the elevator problem, I also have the problem of looking out from the lobby to the ground floor and trying to oogle the women who walk into the building as well.

  11. Being pansexual I don't have this kind of problem. Anyone is safe around me, or is it the opposite? ;)

  12. Joe: for thought. :D

  13. I'm working in a factory where everyone is forced to wear the ugliest uniform possible, that's dark, very baggy, n hides all assets!

    When dressed elsewhere tho, I always make small talk with folks on the elevator! I hate elevators (a bit claustrophobic). I hate the I'm right next to you- ignoring you thing! So stupid!

  14. Snaggle: I usually don't ingore people in the elevator per say, but because I work in such a heightened politically correct environment I basically have to pursue that kind of ignorance, if only to stay out of trouble.

    Outside of work, I'm just about (ab)normal in that I acknowledge people and try to make small talk as well.

    And I oogle. :D


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