Schtuck

Sometimes when we touch the mountain of lucidity, bad things can happen.

For instance, I've been having a long moment of lucidity with my blog and guess what, I can't think of a damn thing to write about.

I suppose its easier to write when you're a little addlepated, a little flummoxed, a little scatterbrained (I'll wait for you to whip out that dusty book called a dictionary and look up those seriously ancient words before I continue). But sometimes, you just can't go through life in a continuous state of stupid. It doesn't work and in the long run, it only creates a failure to communicate.

So.

Where does that leave yours truly?

Well...for starters, I had a hell of a time trying to write something this past Friday.

First I tried to write about tattoos (note: I like tattoos), and wound up with this incredibly long post (about three and half total pages) that featured three examples of how I use tattoos in my writing. But I didn't like the end result, so I nuked it.

Next, I thought about posting an e-mail from my vast library of antiquated humor. So I started transcribing the e-mail and while I was doing so, I would add a few snide comments along the way. But just like my first attempt ending with that post being blown to smithereenies, so did this one as well.

Finally, I thought about writing a very short piece of flash to post on Friday.

So I sat down and started writing a short piece called "Preacher", but by the time I got to the second handwritten page I gave up. Why? Because I couldn't figure out where to properly focus the plot line.

To whit:

It opened with the preacher sitting on the ground, smoking a whiskey flavored cigar and writing a sermon on the evils of masturbation. Then, out of nowhere, a nameless sensuous beauty sat on his lap. Then I decided to have the preacher do all of the talking. Then I decided to add elements of Hell into the mix. Then I implied that the preacher was a minion of the nameless beauty.

As you can see, ADD sank its talons deep into my neck and took out a few ounces of intelligence.

Then I came up with the brilliant idea of writing about writing (descriptive characterization), but since I already wrote about writing and not wanting to be redundant, I shelved the idea for future use.

So.

After striking out by standing at the plate with the bat on my shoulders (no really, how do you think that I made most of my outs in little league), I was left with only one option. An option of which I don't really like to do on this blog.

I threw a picture up along with a short note.

Yes, I know, it was a weenie thing to do (and please, don't bring up Shooting Suburbia, because it's two completely different issues), but I really had no choice. It was either that or not post anything at all.

So that about sums up my week and thus the summation of this post as well. While yes, it does seem on the surface it was much ado about nothing, it did accomplish one very important goal.

It got you here.

Have an Extreme-ly Happy Monday!