Friday, December 3, 2010

The Tapestry Of Individuality That Is Called Hair

Okay gang, this post can be considered a "shotgun wedding", because quite frankly, I got so wrapped up in creating Wednesday's post and the poll that I completely forgot about the fact that I had nothing for Friday cued up.

So, I'm like the guy whose girlfriend is now showing how circular her stomach has become and daddy dearest has been slowly reassembling the shotgun that he'd just finished cleaning only moments ago, in that I wrote this post about 15 hours ago, on the fly with only the inspiration of M&M and DJ to guide me.

Seriously, the seed of the idea was provided by M&M, and DJ and NN from work helped flesh it out.

If you haven't been able to figure it out from the title of the post, yes it is hair. What did you think it was, tattoos? That's for a later post and once again, the same three culprits are responsible for helping me flesh that one as well.

Anyways, I've learned throughout my 14 years of working in state guv'ment working as a minority (I'm a guy who worked in agencies/units that were predominantly populated by the opposite sex) that there certain things you can never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever say anything even remotely .00000001% negative about.

Like hair.

I've seen all kinds of hairstyles on both co-workers and close friends, and I've learn long ago that the safest neutral word I can give when I see a co-worker/friend with a new hairstyle, is "interesting". Guys, take it from me, if you don't want to wind up in the doghouse, never say anything worse than "interesting" about your main squeeze's hairstyle.

Do not even remotely say something like, "That outfit you have on looks nice, maybe you could do something to your hair to compliment it."

I did that once, and I spent a couple of days apologizing for the comment. My comment was innocuous at best but it was taken in a way that it wasn't intended, and I paid a very heavy price for it.

Now the strange thing is, and I've mentioned this to a few other people, mostly guys and a few open-minded women, is that I find women's hair to be sensuous. Especially long hair, usually when it starts at below the shoulder. It's one of the few things that I try to incorporate into almost all of my writings. To me, long hair is a versatile item that can convey a multitude of emotions depending on how its used in a story.

Example: A woman comes home tired and exhausted from work and basically crashes on the couch. Her significant other (in this case, a guy) offers to help her relax a little bit. So he takes out a brush and takes up a seat behind her. Perhaps he has her sit on the floor in front of the couch while he takes up a spot behind her. A few seconds later, he starts to lovingly brush her hair, using gentle and caressing brush strokes, and soon thereafter....

Anyways, I digress. I find that quite often the way a woman wears her hair can say a lot about them as a person. Almost like it's a tiny window into their soul. I've seen some wonderful hairstyles that run the gamut of complex designs to just loose and natural, that have at the very least, lend an air of sensuality to their overall being. And on the other side of the equation, I have seen a few hairstyles that have left me no other choice than to throw out my neutral comment when I seen them, and afterwards have caused me not to make any other comment for quite awhile.

Another thing that I don't do, especially around my office because it's almost universal, is to ask whether or not the braids/dreads that particular woman is wearing are real. Guys, that is another distinct no-no. Ask your squeeze about that, I can almost guarantee you that Fido will be sleeping on your bed that night and you'll be on the couch getting at the most, 10 consecutive minutes of sleep at any given time.

Braids/dreads are about as personal as a woman can possibly get with their hair, and unless you know what that particular woman was like prior to, don't even ask. I've known only one woman who told me hers was real (almost down to her butt), and that was because I happen to compliment her on her overall appearance, which in turn started a conversation that allowed me at one point to get a closer look at her dreads to see for myself and she undid about an inch of one to show me as well.

Hair is the easiest weapon that a woman can utilize to make a man pay attention, and my friends, that is one of the great mysteries of life, and one mystery that I will forever enjoy exploring with my writing.


  1. It is a great mystery, and one for which I don't think there are any answers. But at least it's produced a great musical, Hair. Thanks, now I've got that song in my head.

  2. Interesting post, G. I always think of hair as an accessory - something to be changed with moods.

  3. Interesting! Personally, I prefer long hair on women. I keep mine long and intend to do so for the rest of my life. I find women who wear their hair short, "interesting"... No, really... I always wonder what's behind the decision.
    So, what does a loose and natural style say about a woman's soul?
    I usually straighten my naturally wavy hair but yesterday it was wavy and as I was walking through a store a man passing me said, "Pretty hair!" It was so random... but of course, it made my day!

  4. I adore women with very short hair, always have. Love to see the nape of the neck and the shape of the head and the hair cut around the ears etc. The shorter the better. Shaved heads are very sexy.

  5. Lana is the only woman I've ever been able to tease about her hair, and that must be done gently.

  6. I told my wife that if she cut her hair too short it was grounds for divorce. She said only if I stop getting buzz cuts. Now I have a crop of curly hair.

  7. Joanne: In the summertime, I'm usually thrown for a major loop when it comes to hair. Usually inspires me to write all kinds of stories and what not.

    And I can sympathize with the Hair musical. Had that song going through my head when I finished this as well.

    Talon: I agree. One of the women I mentioned in the beginning changed her hair style while she was on vacation during Gobbler day and it actually made her look younger and it complimented the rest of her as well.

    Extra O: I think that a loose and natural style says that the soul in question has a bit of the free spirit that longs to show itself in public no matter what.

    Ah yes, that natural bounce can often make a man's head turn in nothing flat. Glad he made your day with the compliment.

    Joe: Short can work as well. There are quite a few women where I work who wear their hair short and they managed to make it look quite nice.

    I'm not so sure about shaved though. Not too many women that I know off can pull it off well.

    Charles: I have almost no friends I can do that with. I don't even do it with my wife because she often retaliates with comments about my lack of hair.

    So I learn to be neutral with my comments.

    Bearman: I had long battle with my wife over my lack of hair because I didn't like it when she got hers cut and styled.

    Eventually I gave in and I stopped getting grief over my shaved head.

  8. Funny, because I've been growing my hair out.

    Kid you not, my word verification is "pubous."

  9. R: Really? It's longer than what you have in those pics of yours?

    Honestly, I've had a few co-workers who went in the complete opposite direction with theirs. They had long waist length hair over the past three years one has cut it down to about shoulder length and the other went just about bald, although she's starting to grow it back now.

  10. I am definitely with you on the long hair thing. I was known to refuse to date any girl with hair shorter than mine...and I have very short hair, so yeah...

    On a serious note, my Mom was twice struck with breast cancer, each time losing one. But what really made her "not feel like a woman" was wehen chemo therapy took her hair.

    She tried to cover how much it adversely affected her by claiming to be excited to try out different styles of wigs but...well, I can say without revealing too much that it was nothing but a front. Losing her hair shortened her life because it stole her will.

    It has always stood to me as a testament of how important hair is because Mom was never a vain woman.

  11. Hair is always noticed!
    I've always thought of hair as a personal statement. Either you bend to current fashion, or go with whatever you feel is true or best on you.
    Alot of folks comment they like my very long banana curl ponytail n long, curly bangs. I even intro myself to babies as Curly Cue sometimes!
    The question I asked about some dreads was how do you wash them, n you dont!
    I'm not afraid of getting into trouble as you are!

  12. Darth: I simply like long hair and/or hairstyles that use the long hair that the owner has.

    Hair is one of the few things that as a guy, you can get away complimenting on without getting into trouble.

    On a serious note: my daughter had long hair. From when she was born in 2001 thru the summer of 2008 it was never cut. The only reason I allowed to let her get it cut was that she wanted to donate her hair to the Locks of Love project.

    She did, then she let it grow out enough and donated again to the Locks of Love in 2009.

    She nows has her hair the way she wants it, which is below the shoulder blade.

    Snaggle: I think that there is a pass between women when it comes to talking about different hairstyles and the like because its one of the few items that women are always looking to improve upon.

    Curly Cue, I like that. :D

  13. I like long hair and short hair and shaved heads. Viva la difference

  14. Nurse Myra: Viva la difference.

    However, I'll still stick with my preference of of long hair for my inspirations for my writings.


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