Monday, May 2, 2011

Birds Need A Vacation Too!

Hey Mr. & Mrs. Bird! Are you tired of listening to your kids squawk, "I'm bored! I'm hungry!"?

Looking for that perfect vacation spot in which to ditch the kids for some quality down time?

Looking for a place that has all the amenities of home with none of the headaches, and more importantly, will wait on you hand and foot?

Looking for that place where you need to meet up with that special friend?

Then book your next trip to G & J's Excitingly Exotic Emporium of Ecstasy! Yes, G & J's is just minutes from any direction on the compass that you happen to be flying on a given day. Located at the foot of the ever popular Cedar Mountain resort, we offer all the comforts of home. Fresh shrubbery and greenery as far as the eye can see. Luxurious accommodations that feature three, count 'em, three bird feeders that are guaranteed to satisfy even the most finicky of eaters.

At G & J's, you'll never have to worry about dealing with the same old boring neighbors, because G & J's features the kind of flora and fauna that attracts visitors from far and wide, so you're guaranteed to meet a different bird every five minutes. Plus, as an added bonus, Cedar Mountain features enough acreage that you can take that special second honeymoon without worrying about the kiddies bugging the crap out of you, because the kiddies will be occupied exploring the other end of the mountain.

We take our clients privacy concerns very seriously, so when you're taking that second honeymoon, or even that first honeymoon (VA VA VA VOOM!!!!!), our crack security staff will make darn sure that no matter when you visit, you'll be able to enjoy the views such as these in totally secure and pleasurable comfort.

And should you feel the need to freshen up after a morning (or afternoon or evening) full of extracurricular activities, we feature our ever popular birdbath. The water is created fresh daily by yours truly, so no matter when you need to partake, it will be ready for you. And as you can see, it's quite the popular attraction.

So when you're thinking about that next trip to your mother-in-law's, or that "special" business trip, and you need a place that is discreet beyond belief, give G & J's Excitingly Exotic Emporium of Ecstasy a try. Minutes from anywhere and everywhere, it is the place to be if you're the bird of the world.


  1. lol. You should see our backyard. The birds think we're a bed and breakfast.

  2. Ah, a smile to start my week. Thanks!

  3. Looks like a dandy vacation spot for feathered friends to me. :)

  4. Now I have this vision of you outside with your bucket of water every day filling up the bird bath. Not very rock and roll but kinda sweet. :D

  5. Yesssssss! Vacation, here I come! :)
    Seriously, looks like a beautiful place you have there.

  6. Charles: This past weekend, I had so many birds in my front yard that instead of writing, I wound being lulled to sleep by their melodious singing.

    Gumby: Glad to be of service on this rough and tumble Monday. :D

    Lynn: It doubles as a fantastic rest area as well. :D

    Joe: I actually fill the bird bath every evening when I come home from work and at least twice on the weekends. More if it's hot.

    Who says I can't be sweet and a rocker at the same time? :D

    R: Thanks. It is an awesome place once spring and summer kicks in.

    Mama Z: Yes they do. :D

  7. I can't stop giggling at the idea of a "special" business trip... :)

  8. Lisa: I was on a roll while writing this post. The idea came to me over the weekend as we had fantastic weather and a slew of birds were hanging out in the front yard pigging out and bathing.

    Not sure what that "special" business trip would be, but I'm sure it would be a dozy. :D

  9. Ha ha, that's awesome, Georgie. Love the header photo, by the way. I admit to my guilty pleasure of burger/dog and fries.

  10. Jewel: Thanks.

    GoldBurger's is the one place where I don't mind dropping the dollars for food. Superb stuff. Got hooked onto the slaw dog early on and the fries are fantastic.

    Guilty as charged too. :D

  11. G @ J's Excitingly Exotic Emporium of Ecstasy sounds perfect! Especially for a bird lover like me. :)

  12. Talon: I figured you would like that title. :D

    While I was mentally creating this post, I got to thinking about all of those old 19th century newspaper titles, and viola! a place of business was born.

    Besides, we're getting a lot of birds visiting this spring that are doing all kinds of things. :D

  13. Your yard is beautiful! I'm tempted to dress up as a bird and go for a dip in the birdbath. ;-)

  14. Sounds like a blast! I will be there for sure. Have any specials or packages? ;P

  15. S.R: Thanks.

    I'm quite sure that you'll have plenty of feathered friends to keep you company. :D

    Dr. Heckle: Hmmm...haven't given it that much though. Perhaps a good marketing consultant like yourself could make a few suggestions? :D

  16. That was fun to read! Thanks G :)

  17. Kelly: You're more than welcome. :D

  18. I thought for sure you'd have added some bird houses by now...

  19. Snaggle: I'm not that motivated. :D


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