I often brag about my strange sense of humor, usually on this blog and in the comment sections of your blogs.
But did you know that I have a type of humor that only appears on Facebook and nowhere else? Prolly not, otherwise I wouldn't have a topic to write about.
People (like me) bash Facebook for lots of things, like excessive amount of games, mindless updates, annoying product updates, and new security features that require you to opt in to use, just to name a few. However, for people like me, Facebook is a gold mine for an endless supply of straight lines and nasty word foreplay that is only limited by one's imagination.
Case in point: Last Sunday, I posted a status update of myself, in which I commented about the fact that I went to a local farmer's market. What you're about to read is what was posted word for word, sans any actual names of the other people commenting (however, those who are my friends both here on the blog and on Facebook, will prolly recognize themselves).
G: Okay peeps, don't laugh at me for this, but for the first time ever, I'm cooking two fresh ears of corn that I got at the Farmer's Market yesterday...while I always enjoy fresh corn, never once in my entire life did I actually peel and cook fresh corn...
#1: Cool! (New Jersey has the BEST sweet corn at the end of the summer, so back when I lived there, I cooked it about a million times) I'm not a big fan of frozen or canned corn, but the fresh stuff is so good!
#2: Ha ha ha lol
#3: So-how did you cook it, and how did it turn out?
G: #1, I do like fresh corn, but I've never found the time or the money to stop by one of those small farmstands, even though Newington has about several peppered around the town. The local market in the center was something that started a couple of years ago, so I decided to make a stop there. Not only did I pick up corn, but for the wife I picked up fresh lettuce, green peppers, yellow squash, zucchini, tomato and nectarines. #2, Yes, you may laugh at me, but I'm one of the few guys from my generation who can actually cook, I've just never cooked fresh corn. #3, I boiled it in water and it came out pretty damn good. Not a big fan of butter on it, so I just used a little salt to accentuate the flavor.
#4: Ah, a corn virgin. (Man, that sounded dirty...)
G: #4, Now that's funny...:D
#3: Aren't most virgins kind of corny?
G: #3, Most virgins are of the creamy corn variety...
#1: This thread is giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, "shucking the corn"....
G: #1, Touche'! I couldn't put any better myself...:D. #3, shouldn't it be LMAO?
#3: I stand corrected! :)
#1: Hehehe... :)
G: #3, anytime...:D. #1, as you can see, my sense of humor is a lot more twisted on Facebook than it ever was on my blog...this is the side of me that I rarely show on the blog...my friends get the very best of me here..:D
I really do have a lot of fun on Facebook because most of my friends there have a sense of humor that is not for the faint of heart.
So if you ever want to experience a part of me that never really shows itself here, give some serious thought about friending me on Facebook, that is if you're on Facebook to begin with. If you want to take that step, let me know and I'll show you how to find me there.
Plus, you'll be able to take comfort in the knowledge that I follow these simple rules for my Facebook experience: I don't do games (thus I will not clutter your wall with that kind of stuff); I make a minimum of four status updates per week (blog is fed through my wall); and my off blog status updates (if I choose to do them) usually take place on the weekends.