Friday, August 12, 2011

Strange Brew...Grows What's Inside Me

I often brag about my strange sense of humor, usually on this blog and in the comment sections of your blogs.

But did you know that I have a type of humor that only appears on Facebook and nowhere else? Prolly not, otherwise I wouldn't have a topic to write about.

People (like me) bash Facebook for lots of things, like excessive amount of games, mindless updates, annoying product updates, and new security features that require you to opt in to use, just to name a few. However, for people like me, Facebook is a gold mine for an endless supply of straight lines and nasty word foreplay that is only limited by one's imagination.

Case in point: Last Sunday, I posted a status update of myself, in which I commented about the fact that I went to a local farmer's market. What you're about to read is what was posted word for word, sans any actual names of the other people commenting (however, those who are my friends both here on the blog and on Facebook, will prolly recognize themselves).

G: Okay peeps, don't laugh at me for this, but for the first time ever, I'm cooking two fresh ears of corn that I got at the Farmer's Market yesterday...while I always enjoy fresh corn, never once in my entire life did I actually peel and cook fresh corn...

#1: Cool! (New Jersey has the BEST sweet corn at the end of the summer, so back when I lived there, I cooked it about a million times) I'm not a big fan of frozen or canned corn, but the fresh stuff is so good!

#2: Ha ha ha lol

#3: So-how did you cook it, and how did it turn out?

G: #1, I do like fresh corn, but I've never found the time or the money to stop by one of those small farmstands, even though Newington has about several peppered around the town. The local market in the center was something that started a couple of years ago, so I decided to make a stop there. Not only did I pick up corn, but for the wife I picked up fresh lettuce, green peppers, yellow squash, zucchini, tomato and nectarines. #2, Yes, you may laugh at me, but I'm one of the few guys from my generation who can actually cook, I've just never cooked fresh corn. #3, I boiled it in water and it came out pretty damn good. Not a big fan of butter on it, so I just used a little salt to accentuate the flavor.

#4: Ah, a corn virgin. (Man, that sounded dirty...)

G: #4, Now that's funny...:D

#3: Aren't most virgins kind of corny?

G: #3, Most virgins are of the creamy corn variety...

#1: This thread is giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, "shucking the corn"....

#3: LOL!

G: #1, Touche'! I couldn't put any better myself...:D. #3, shouldn't it be LMAO?

#3: I stand corrected! :)

#1: Hehehe... :)

G: #3, anytime...:D. #1, as you can see, my sense of humor is a lot more twisted on Facebook than it ever was on my blog...this is the side of me that I rarely show on the friends get the very best of me here..:D

I really do have a lot of fun on Facebook because most of my friends there have a sense of humor that is not for the faint of heart.

So if you ever want to experience a part of me that never really shows itself here, give some serious thought about friending me on Facebook, that is if you're on Facebook to begin with. If you want to take that step, let me know and I'll show you how to find me there.

Plus, you'll be able to take comfort in the knowledge that I follow these simple rules for my Facebook experience: I don't do games (thus I will not clutter your wall with that kind of stuff); I make a minimum of four status updates per week (blog is fed through my wall); and my off blog status updates (if I choose to do them) usually take place on the weekends.


  1. I was waiting for the Farmville joke..haha

  2. LOL... I was actually reading a food blog yesterday, and the topic was corn, and I couldn't help but laugh. :)

    I tend to keep my humor on the innocuous side, but only because my (very conservative) mom not only reads my blog, but is also my FB friend... sometimes I think I should start a second "anonymous" blog so I can throw all caution to to the wind and say whatever I want. :)

  3. That looks like quite a corny dialogue! :) I have taken to cooking fresh corn on the cob in the microwave in the shuck. When it's done the shuck and silks slide right off.

  4. I play one game on Facebook, but I never opt to post anything about it. My status updates are not frequent... maybe 1 or 2 a week.

    Glad you are enjoying FB though... and that your friends 'get' you.

  5. Nice! That is a funny exchange.
    I'm not much of a Facebook girl. I'm only on it because my sister is Facebook-dependent.

  6. Bearman: I don't do Farmville. There are so many versions of Farmville out there that its a hacker's wet dream come true.

    Now Hee-Haw, that's a different story all together.

    Junior Samples rules.

    Lisa: There you go. I got a blogger friend who did just that, and for a while, my short story blog was open only to a select group of people.

    Going hog wild can be extremely fun and exhilirating. :D

    Lynn: It was a Hee-Haw type of dialogue. :D

    That is definitely an interesting way of cooking corn. Does it taste the same like if you'd cooked it over a grill or in a pot?

    ExtraO: I enjoy Facebook more for the extremely raucus and intriguing conversations that my friends have than anything else.

    The main reason why I don't do status updates more is what you see here. Most of what I tell about myself can be found here, so why be redundant?

    S.R.: Thanks. :D

    I originally went on Facebook because a now ex-friend invited me to join her and the many others from the chat rooms there. A couple of years later, and I would say about 95% of my chat room friends are now gone. My circle has a good blend of people from the blog world and the real world, and it fits perfectly for me.

  7. soak the corn in water with the husk on for 10 minutes..

    cook the corn whist (hehehe) the husk on on the grill till all sides of the husk are dry (some may be a bit on the burnt side)

    pull the corn from the grill and let sit in a brown paper grocery bag for at least 15 min.

    shuck and eat...

    best damn corn ever!

  8. Bruce: Thanks for the suggestion and welcome back to the blog world, even if its only for a drive by. Hope you're doing well and that life is treating you good.

  9. Tempted to join for about one nanosecond ;)

    Funny, I am listening to a Cream album.

  10. R: One nanosecond is all it takes to seriously aggravate your existence. :D

    Cream is cool.

    Fortunately, I can tolerate listening to them now because I don't listen to commercial radio much.

  11. Very funny exchange! I can tell that I would love your FB status updates. Now I want to go and get some fresh corn.

    Sorry that I have been an absentee blogger. Busy here with the kids...

  12. Kelly: Thanks.

    If you want to friend me, I'll be more than happy to accept. Just e-mail me and I'll give you the particulars.

    No need to apologize. When the real world calls, sometimes you just have to answer it.

  13. Amazingly, I still have no desire to join FB! I'm especially off-put by the loss of privacy n the current use of face recognition software used there.

  14. Snaggle: A lot of people feel that way. For the most part, I got my security settings set to my personal comfort level.

    1) No one except friends of friends can read my status updates. And since I have such a small circle, makes things incredibly easy.

    2) Got all games blocked.

    3) And I'm pretty much unlisted on Facebook.


Go on, give me your best shot. I can take it. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have created this wonderful little blog that you decided to grace with your presence today.

About that comment moderation thingy: While yes, it does say up above I can take it, I only use it to prevent the occasional miscreant from leaving thoughtless and/or clueless comments.

So remember, all of your comments are greatly appreciated and all answers will be given that personal touch that you come to expect and enjoy.

G. B. Miller

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