Monday, October 24, 2011

The Muse Says...

What the hell do you think you're doing?

How many times do I have to tell you that writing is 10% mental, 10% physical and 85% spiritual?

I swear it seems that the more I speak the less you hear, or is it the less I speak the more you hear? Or is it, due to the fact that I have such a fantastic bod, the more you see the less you think?

Whatever it is, you better straighten up and pay attention to what the world is telling you, 'cause I am getting sick and tired of talking in cliches to you. I have better things to do than to offer up the same old same old to you. After all, I am a muse, and the talents I possess transcend far beyond what your stagnating imagination can conjur up.

So what's it going to be? More of the same old same old of been there and done that, in which case I have no problem in leaving you to your own devices, or will you be wanting something fresh and original?

C'mon, speak up lad, I ain't got all day you know. If you can't pull the trigger, then I'll just simply goe elsewhere and let someone else pull the velvet trigger on this lluscious body.

Well?!

What? Are you serious? Oh my god, you are serious!

But...but...but...yeah I know what I'd just said. But...but...but...well yeah, of course I offered to give you something fresh and original, but that was more of a verbal and mental sensual stimulation that anything physcial.

I know I said I would walk away and let someone else pull the velvet trigger on this luscious body if you didn't, but I didn't think that you would pull lit in that particular way.

No, I'm not trying to back out. I'm just saying that maybe you should reconsider the physica aspect and go back to what I'm currently suggesting. But...but...but...no, I don't think that is feasible. Yes I can do that. What do you take me for, some kind of ingenue'?

What? Here? Now? Where? Outside? Where outside? In a barn? Since when do you have a barn? No barn. Oh I get it, a small grove of trees. Do I have to? Okay, okay, OKAY! No need to get tweaked! I'll see you at the grove in five minutes and you better be there.

Okay I'm here, now what? Alright, don't have a hissy fit. Where? What do you mean right behin me? Wait a second, I just felt something wet pressed against my back.

Holy cow! It's a horse! It's a big horse! And you expet tiny little me to simply climb aboard that...that...that creature and do what? Ride? Are you kidding me? There's no saddle! What if I goes too fast? I'll get thrown off! I know I trust this creature not to do that, it's you I don't trust.

Get away from me with that pen! You know how sensitive I am to any kin of change to my appearance! Please! What? Of course I didn't mean that I don't trust you, I was just a little upset about your plan of attack. What? Yes I agree that this mare is a beautiful horse and I didn't mean to insult her by her an 'it'.

Alright, I'll climb on board, but you better not be doing anything stupid with me or to me. I may be your muse, but I have genuine feelings and emotions like any other normal woman. Okay I'm ready for what you're about to lay on me.

9 comments:

  1. I'm not sure what's lacking in my output but there's nothing physical, mental or spiritual happening.

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  2. Lynn: Glad I was able to add an extra jolt of caffeine to your day. :D

    Charles: Bummer.

    But I figure that its a given that sometimes not all three parts are firing at the same time.

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  3. I used to have a writing teacher who emphasized the physical aspect of writing. She had us do things like squeeze tofu in our bare hands, or take off our socks and do toe exercises in preparation for writing. It certainly did get my head out of a prosaic day-to-day way of thinking and into a more creative space.

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  4. S.R.: That's weird, but if it got the job done by getting your creative juices flowing, then more power to her as a teacher.

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  5. R: Thankee. I'm glad it brightened you day.

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  6. I read that first part twice before I realized that writing adds up to 105 percent effort... Which, now that I think about it, seems correct... :)

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  7. Lisa: You were the only one that mentioned that my addition was a tad off.

    New math is good. :D

    ReplyDelete

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