Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm Gonna Pull Your Tweezers Out With A Pair of Whiskers!

Not really solid to report for writing today, so I thought I would offer up a few random tangents that have been swirling around my head for the past few days/weeks.

First up, an explanation for the post title.

My mother has a dog that barks at every single person that comes into the house. Now if you couple that with the fact that this dog has perpetual short term memory, you can see how this gets super annoying for me to walk out of the house for ten seconds then come back in and then get barked at for thirty seconds.

Anyways, while I was being barked at yet again one day, I yelled at the dog. What I intended to say was, "If you don't shut up, I'm gonna pull your whiskers out with a pair of tweezers!" What came out instead was a perfect Norm Crosby moment from the old Natural Light Commercials.

Suffice to say, the family found it incredibly hilarious and some two months later, still find it incredibly hilarious as whenever I decide to yell at the dogs (yes all three of them), they innocently bring up my busted Norm Crosby syntax.

Anyways, continuing with the rest of the random tangents we present to you the one full positive from this past weekend (3/16-18).

Yahoo Groups.

Specifically, a Yahoo Group that is sponsored by my publisher Solstice Publishing. I haven't done the chat rooms or any kind of forums for the better part of two years, so even though this is something new and exciting, I'll still be performing the old habit of lurking on the outside for a while to see how things work. Once I get used to it, I'll probably perform my other old habit of jumping in feet first into the fray.

The half positive from this past weekend featured, believe or not and contrary to the opening sentence, writing.

I took my own advice from Sunday's post and on Saturday (fyi, I always write my posts at least two days in advance) took a trip to Westfarms Mall here in Connecticut. I did a little walking and a little note taking, which taking into consideration that the weather here was exceptionally fine (please be jealous, I beg of you) was a very good thing. Because not only did it help clear my head, but it helped me churn out about 670 fresh words for my novella.

I also have to mention here the one positive from the previous weekend (3/9-11), which was changing my anti-virus software.

Norton not only drove me to the edge of the cliff, but that weekend pushed me off as well. In the course of one Sunday morning, for three solid hours, I manged to have a grand total of 15 minutes of usable computer time. The other 2 hours and 45 minutes were spent battling a serious computer freeze/jam job.

So once I had gotten back from my afternoon festivities, which was lunch and grocery shopping, I called up AT&T to find out how to get McAfee for free on my computer. After spending about thirty minutes on the phone with AT&T working on a proper solution, I got rid of Norton (who never responded to my letter back in late February) and uploaded McAfee. One of the better moves that I've done for my computer and something that I should've done two years ago, which would've saved me about $140. My computer now runs a hell of lot smoother, has a quick start up and shut down, and most importantly, no freeze ups.

And that my friends, is the news, and I'm not Gary Gnu.


  1. Sounds pretty painful either way you phrase it.

  2. Ha ha you cracked me up about the forums. I've stayed well clear of them for about 3 years now for the same reasons as you, I often acted with a "knee jerk" reaction and jumped in feet first only to then regret it the next day.

    Good luck with that!

  3. I used to belong to a Yahoo group when I worked in immigration. That one was a digest of some sort - a positive experience, for sure.

    That's funny about what you said to the dog. My neighbor upstairs used to have a cocker spaniel that barked if a leaf fell outside - meaning, it barked all the time.

  4. I would think how you said it could be more painful.

  5. Your computer is giving you a big hug.

  6. Charles: I believe it would've at that. :D

    In any event, it still brings a smile to everyone's face whenever they hear it.

    Joe: My knee jerk reactions were definitely the norm for the bulk of my existence in the chat rooms and I definitely had regrets the next day for some the schtuff I'd uttered previously.

    However, this will be a lot different than that, since I'm dealing with people like you and I, so it should be a overly positive experience.

    Lynn: This one is already paying off for me as I've been able to pick up on some interesting tidbits about publishing & marketing that I did not know previously.

    Now that must've been one wrongly hardwired dog. :D

    Bearman: I believe you're right. :D

    Debra: Thanks for stopping by.

    Yup, for a very refreshing change of pace. :D

  7. I love Gary Gnu! Man, it has been ages since I've seen that show. And I am pretty sure I only saw re-runs.

    My friends have two dogs exactly like that. It bugs the fuck out of me. I don't know why they aren't ex-dogs.

  8. M: Ex-dogs? Yeah, I can seriously picture that. :D

    I've always been partial to children's television, no matter what the age bracket might be.

    I'm pretty I used to watch first run episodes of that show, and I vaguely remember seeing a record album at Toys R Us from that show as well.

  9. My neighbors barking dogs got me irked today because I can't walk into my own house either!
    It was warm so I used the outdoors stairs the first time this year, n they're not used to it.

    Somehow the dog feels rewarded for barking at you. Too bad you can't aim a squirt-gun at him like with a cat... Try having doggie treats in your pocket, hold it out as you come in, only when he quiets down give him (them) one.

    Good luck!

  10. Snaggle: Decent idea, but the main dog is too set in his ways to change.

    Too bad about the dopey neighbor's dog getting into your business that early in the morning. Perhaps a little squirt from a water hose might do the trick as well. :D

  11. Thanks lot for this useful article, nice post

  12. When I walk down my apartment hallway to the trash chute, I pass the door to another condo where a yappy little dog lives. The dog often barks when it hears me passing in the hallway. I always have to fight an urge to bark back.

  13. Busana Muslim: Thanks.

    S.R.: That would most definitely confuse the dog big time. :D


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