Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Perpendicular? Not At Albuquerque

Yeah, I'm perpendicular. So what? Lots of people are perpendicular these days. Take my good friend Sir Loin of Beef.

Now, my good buddy Sir Loin of Beef always sits perpendicular, but never at Albuquerque, because at Albuquerque, he's required to always make a left turn, except on Tuesdays, when he has to make right turns while hanging upside down.

However, the head cheese of Albuquerque, Sachmo of Armstrong:

has granted a special waiver for Sir Loin of Beef, in that he doesn't have to make that right turn while hanging upside down today. Instead, Sir Loin of Beef and his trusted steed Steed have galloped onto this blog to enlighten you about a few things in the Bastille countryside...ummm...the windmills?

starts flipping though the script as he has gotten completely lost. after furious flipping back and forth for thirty seconds, he finds where he's supposed to be, and thus, tosses the script off to the side. boldly stepping forward, he clears and throat and says in a voice dripping with confidence

Sir Loin of Beef and his trusted steed Steed have galloped onto this blog with a late breaking news story that had its origins created in the basement of Don Quixote's sidekick Pancho's hacienda. Without further ado, fresh from his successful run at the Duke of Ellington's Tuxedo Junction, here is Sir Loin of Beef and his faithful steed Steed.

These are the times that tries even the most fervent admirer of Frankie, who didn't go to Hollywood but instead became known as the Voice with the Golden Arm and who didn't originate from Amherst and never became pixilated, can plainly see that plain Jane is a lot smoother than Mary, but if Mary Jane were joined together, they would be the ultimate pharmaceutical smoothie, which is to say, medicinal as the Recipe, but not as medicinal as the holes in Albert Hall.

However, the most fervent admirer of Frankie, who doesn't like Baked Van De Kamp but certainly likes sleeping with a blanket, will admit that sometimes, you really have to drive along the highway not only with a thousand screaming trucks, but also with my twelve long hair friends too. Especially if you're hauling a conservative Democrat or a liberal Republican.

With that being said, I, Sir Loin of Beef will now step into the swing of things, and I don't mean New Jack, and say what inquiring minds have been clamoring for since the age of Aquarius, or at the very least, in conujuction with letting the sunshine in and the dropping of Jupiter to the land of Orion's Belt.

Dang! I knew I should've made that left turn at Albuquerque!

And what did we learn, if anything today?

That's right, a blog writer with an empty screen and an equally empty head can always beyond a shadow of a doubt, make you grab head and say in your whiniest voice, "Make it stop!"




  1. Sir Loin looks like a chivalrous sort. I can see him playing the lead in a remake of Ivanhoe!

  2. Quite an imagination you have there, G. :)

  3. This is pretty much exactly what I dreamed about last night... and I've never even BEEN to Albuquerque... ;)

  4. Charles: Yes, I believe that Sir Loin would make a great lead in Ivanhoe. :D

    Lynn: Oh my God, I was so out of it yesterday. I had no idea on what to write, so I decided to search Picassa photo albums, and presto! instant story. :D

    Lisa: Now, that is scary. :D

  5. Altho it was difficult to follow the Sir Loin of Beef plot for awhile there, It definately made sense with the Should've made that Left turn at Albequerque part- See what riding perpendicular will do to you?
    Very cute! Good excercise

  6. Snaggle: Thankee.

    Yes, riding perpendicular will always cure what ails ya. :D

    And I do so love to exercise. :D

    M: This is what happens when you watch the classic Looney Tunes as a kid. :D


Go on, give me your best shot. I can take it. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have created this wonderful little blog that you decided to grace with your presence today.

About that comment moderation thingy: While yes, it does say up above I can take it, I only use it to prevent the occasional miscreant from leaving thoughtless and/or clueless comments.

So remember, all of your comments are greatly appreciated and all answers will be given that personal touch that you come to expect and enjoy.

G. B. Miller

The Legal Disclaimer

All the content that you see here, except for the posting of links that refer to other off-blog stories, is (c) 2008-17 by G.B. Miller. Nothing in whole or in part may be used without the express written permission of myself. If you wish to use any part of what you see here, please contact me at georgebjr2006@gmail.com