Friday, July 27, 2012

I Can't Watch This!

Last month I wrote about my favorite movies that I love to watch ad infinitum. I thought that for today, I would visit the anti-redundancy and talk about the movies that I absolutely despise and never, never watch again.

Surprisingly enough, most of these detestable movies originate from my childhood.

Now I don't know about you, but back when I was my daughter's age, I was sometimes forced to go to movies that I did not like, simply because my mother had something to do that required me not be around. Or, I was forced to see movie as part of a school trip.

So in no particular order of importance, other than how I remember them, here is my short list of movies I can't stand, sans links.

First up, the movie that inspired this post. Why inspired? Because TCM showed it on the 4th and I had the unfortunate experience of seeing a few seconds while channel surfing.

1} 1776: I first saw this movie on school-wide field trip that coincidentally took place in 1976. No child should be exposed to a musical at such a tender age. You can scar them for life. Anyways, I don't remember much about this movie beyond William Daniels singing about saltpeter.

2} Benji: How can anyone not like a movie series about an adorable dog that saves everyone and everything and make everyone feel all cuddly warm and toasterific inside???

Even at that age I thoroughly hated G-rated movies. Still hate them to this day and I hate movies about adorable itty bitty dogs.

Scary fact: The son of the original trainer is looking to restart the franchise, and thus is scouring the animal shelters looking for a new Benji.

3} Disney documentaries: I used to watch a lot of these things while growing up and to this day, I cannot stomach the sugary sweetness that is white bread bland Americana that Disney passes off as wholesome entertainment.

4} Any kind of live action Disney films. Anything from the 50's thru today. You name it, I hate it. Classic animation, I hate. Pixar, hit or miss.

5} James Bond: Yes, I detest James Bond films with a passion. There are a myriad of reasons why, from not enough sex to not enough violence and everything else in between, but the main reason why is that I was dragged to quite a few of them when I was a kid. My dad was a huge James Bod fan, and I detest being dragged to a movie that my parents like.

However, I do like the music for the Bond flicks, which for me were the ones that featured Roger Moor.

6} Modern drama: With very few exceptions, most modern drama films, in my opinion, suck major moose testicles. Way too much dialogue combined with very little action equals wanting to be tortured by listening to the entire pre-Super Bowl gabfests with eyes propped open like the main character in "Clockwork Orange".

So how 'bout you? Got any films that you absolutely cannot stand to watch or even be in the same room with?


  1. All I remember about 1776 was the guy that played in the White Shadow was in it. And the Ben Franklin singing about Turkeys.

  2. Mine is the reverse. I only started being disgusted by some movies when I became I result. You know, that first moment when you realize some creep in Hollywood is trying to schmooze into how you should think.

    I can't stand "message" movies. Avatar was the worst. If I have to sit through another "empowerment" movie I think I'll not only vote to make Pluto a planet again, but promote it to center of the universe status.

  3. Titanic, even though I've never actually seen it. I just know I would loathe it, just like I know I would loathe taking a shotgun blast to the face. Some things a self aware person doesn't need to experience in order to know how they'd feel about it, right?

    And that #6, man -- you're eliminating a pretty broad swath of some damn good movies.

  4. There are a couple of Bond films I enjoy. I've seen others but can easily take or leave them. having seen them once I don't need to see them again certainly.

  5. Anything with Hugh Grant in it. :D

  6. A million years ago I walked out of a movie called "Soldier of Orange" because it was so terrible. That's the worst one I've ever seen.

  7. I'm with you on most of these, but I love James Bond movies. Agree there is not enough sex though ;)

  8. Bearman: You're a multitude up on me. You have my deepest condolences.

    Rick: Uggh. Message movies have got to be the worst, especially those that Hollywood have deem to be absolutely necessary.

    Never saw Avatar, but I'll take your word on it.

    Message cartoons are also bad, like "Captain Planet".

    Chris: I probably am with #6, but it seems that most of the dramas as of late have lots of dialogue with very little action. I kind of need a good balance of each.

    Charles: I wasn't able to get into most of the Bond films, especially the ones with Sean Connery, and definitely none of the later ones after Roger Moore.

    But the soundtracks are still the bomb.

    Joe: I think Hugh Grant is a decent actor, but yeah, a lot of Hugh Grant movies are just simply to die for. :D

    Debra: Never heard of that one, but when I was in the dating scene (hard to believe, I know), I saw a horrible movie called "Black Widow" with my date, and we walked out about 20 minutes into it.

    M: For whatever reason, I simply cannot deal with James Bond films, any more than I can't deal with Basil Rathborne's depictin of Sherlock Holmes.

    Especially after reading the stories and watching the late Jeremy Brett's portrayal of him.

  9. Growing up I had my fill of Disney movies. Like you, my parents would easily approve a movie if it was Disney. Thus I hated those movies and craved what my parents called "mindless drivel". Give me THE EXPENDABLES, PULP FICTION, THE PUNISHER, PREDATOR, CRANK, etc., and there is no worry about brain washing sticky sweet messages. I will have to admit that I loved FANTASIA and as far as naming a movie I hated most, I can't because I can't remember them because I didn't like them.

  10. I LOVE the Bond films, but not the ones that got campy with Roger Moore in them.

    I don't like sappy Lifetime for Women network movies, yet I find myself watching them if I'm home sick in bed. :)

  11. G.A.: Back when I was my daughter's age, our town used to have a weekly movie showing at the town hall for all the kids, and Disney films was always part and parcel of the showings. Uggh.

    It took me a long time to get into the mindless drivel that everyone loves to wallow in nowadays. To this day, I will not watch any kind of Disney film, be it live or animated.

    Lynn: I agree, some of those later ones did get wickedly campy, like that one that took place in outer space.

    Lifetime movies. I got that channel but I haven't blocked it out 'cause my wife likes watching those from time to time, but yeah, sappiness personafied.

  12. Disney movies....James can you hate those movies? Come on George!!!!

  13. Penny: Glad you could stop by today.

    I have issues with formula driven stories, be they the celluloid variety or the written word.

    But while I still do enjoy most of the things that my dad loved when I was a kid, Bond movies remain at the top of my list of things I do not enjoy.

    Disney is a whole other issue, as I'm young enough to watch "The Wonderful World of Disney" with great frequency.


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