Early on, I used to have no problem in writing scenes of violence, sometimes the stupider it was, the easier it was to write.
"She hauled him out of the back seat until his head was hanging outside, then picked up a telephone book and whacked him upside the head until blood geyesered all over the garage floor."
Now on flip side of the equation, writing scenes with sex of any kind was to say the very least, difficult. Why difficult? Well, unless you've been writing those kind of scenes for a while, the first half dozen attempts made wind up reading like a bad porn script.
gotcha, no sample here. i really need to keep this blog R-rated and not NC-17
Over the preceding six plus years, I slowly weaned myself from writing heavy scenes of violence and slowly began working on improving the various types of sexual situations that my stories visit. Why? The main reason was that writing scenes of violence was becoming too easy and frighteningly realistic for me, and I didn't want to make my stuff so disturbing that people would have 2nd, 3rd and 4th thoughts about me not only as a writer, but as a person as well.
By 2012, the violence in my writing become tempered enough for me not to cringe while reading it afterwards (imagine that, a writer cringing while reading their own writing), so I'm giving myself a big pat on the back for a job well done.
But.....the long long fickle finger of fate reached out and tapped a cold fingertip on the top of my head and proceeded to shuffle my conscience around to the point of indecisiveness.
The story that I'm currently writing, "Time To Go" has such a particular level of violence in it that it actually bothers me to write it. Because the underlying theme is surviving with two serial killers, it necessitates me showing what it is exactly they do. And thus, here lies the rub: in order to make the story as realistic as possible, I have to write scenes that I find personally repulsive.
And because I have to write those particular scenes, I'm thinking very long and very hard as to how and when I should write them. I really don't want to put this story away because it's just begging to be written, but I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable in writing those particular scenes.
So it begs the question, "How do I reconcile these increasingly irreconcilable differences?"
I really do want to write this story because I actually enjoy exploring the dark side of people, and this one really does explore a person's ethical dilemma in ways that no one should ever experience.